Busy busy week here! I have been working what seems like a TON! I took on some extra shifts this month, since D said to, although he will deny that...making me a full time Nurse this month only. But, I will definitely appreciate the EXTRA money coming in next month from it. I will be lagging in hours next month due to soccer camps starting, and camp trips planned.
I am in dire need of a new washing machine, and a dresser, so one or the other or both will be purchased soon with my extra earnings. Nice to have it coming, with 2 time and 1/2 shift also.
Kids got back from a short trip with my Mom. It was so wierd to not have them here so many days. Glad to finally get them home. A few surprises though...Grace, being 13, seems to think she has a newfound increase of independence in her decision making. None of my cousins that they visited have children her age, they are smaller, Drew's age and younger. So, apparently she was treated more like an adult than I would allow at home. They have a pool at thier house, I told Grace to take her suit, she refused. Well, she took $40 of earned babysitting money with her, and when they all went to the river, she decided to buy a swimsuit. Only, it was not something I would EVER allow her to wear. I try to emphasize modesty, regularly. My dtr is only 13, not 16 or 18. I put my girls in either one piece, or tankini/boyshort style suits. NO bikini's. Especially not for my teen right now.
She bought the suit that in her words, 'I chose the one that would cover me most but didn't cost a lot of money Mom!' Ummm...I don't think so. She bought a red/white polka dot skimpy forbidden bikini. The top was strings with small triangles to cover her ta tas, and the bottoms where small hipster style bikini bottoms. NOT SOMETHING I WOULD EVER LET HER GET. But, she bought it, wore it to the river while there, and wasn't gonna let me know she had it.
I, being the intuitive Mother I am, started wondering what she wore to the river she spoke of swimming in. I was very upset about her purchasing it, in my opinion, she wasted her money. She knew better, and so...I took the suit telling her she will NEVER wear it ever again. She thinks I still have it. I can't return it, it's been worn 2x at least. I won't donate it. I won't save it for years from now. It disgusted me, and it was pure disobedience. I simply took it, dug around for my sewing scissors, and cut that suit into dozens of tiny little scraps.
NEVER TO BE WORN AGAIN!
She also had this idea she needs to, and should be allowed to wear make up now. We discussed mascara before she went on this trip with my Mom. I had told her, clear mascara only. No color, and definitley NOT black. She comes home with a tube of black extreme volumizing mascara. I confiscated this as well. She keeps insisting she NEEDS it. It is now in the trash. Another disobedient act.
I love my dtr. I know she is growing up, but she is trying to grow up way too fast! I am not trying to baby her, but what I am trying to do is keep them kids for a while longer than most parents do. I see so many young 11 12 13 yo girls running around with tons of make up on. It's so disgusting to see these young girls trying to look as if they are adults already. It's just not what I will be okay with. I do not think I am doing wrong by her. I just want her to be modest with her body, love herself for her natural beauty, and have self confidence without thinking/feeling she has to mask who she truly is for others to think she is beautiful.
She IS a beautiful girl. But, she is just that still, a girl. NOT a woman.
D felt I over reacted by cutting the suit up, but I think I needed to make a huge point, not to be forgotten. If she wants the freedom to purchase clothing with the money she earns, she also has to show me some maturity, and responsibility by making wise choices. This was not a wise choice. Enough drama...
Took the kids to visit cousins yesterday. Needed to visit my Melbamoo! Had fun. She babysits now, decided to quit her full time job this year and stay home. Good choice I think. Our kids grow up so fast, it's such a pity to have to miss it.
She is babysitting her new little nephew, whom I did not know was there when I arrived. He is only 3 months old, and sooo sooo sooo cute! I loved holding him. Leah never see's babies, we don't know anyone with a baby, and she is my last, so we won't have another one in our house.
I made sure to let her see this baby, so I held him out to her, and said, "Leah! Look what Mommy got! A baby!" She was busy playing kitchen at the time, and looked up, startled then started saying, "NO! I DON'T WANT IT! GO 'WAY! NO!" I was so shocked at her reaction. She absolutley refused to look at or hold the little guy. She acted scared. I tried to show her again, she asked, "Where did it come from?" Mel told her,from his mommie's tummy. She looked at him a bit, still not wanting anything to do with him, then started playing a bit more. As I continued holding him, and visiting, she blurted out to me, "GO PUT HIM BACK!"
I had to laugh. I mean, how crazy was her reaction? I just did not understand her not liking a baby. She plays with her dolls a lot, she has seen babies, not held them, or really been around them more than seeing them in passing at the mall or such. But, to be scared of or so openly disliking him?
After a bit, she finally warmed up, and came over to me, started telling me he needed a diaper, and a ba ba. She eventually asked to hold him, and wanted to feed him his bottle.
On another note: I am seriously considering a new tattoo. I have one to my lower back, but my idea this time is to get all of my childrens names in small script running together around my ankle like a little ankle bracelet. D says it will hurt terrible, and doesn't want me to do it, but I really want to. What do any of you Momma's have to say? Good or Bad idea?
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