I'm takin' it Day by Day...

A Reflection

2011-12-26T10:34:00.001-08:00

This year has been a roller coaster for me. No matter how sure you are of people or things, nothing is ever exactly what you think it is.
Marriage is a struggle. A battle of wills. A holy commitment. A security blanket at times. Other times, seemingly a nightmare.
One thing I've found with any relationship we have with anyone in
our lives, is that they change, mature, fall behind, renew, revert, die, etc...
...It's important to figure out which ones are most important, and which ones help you to grow as a person.
I may not have gotten the job I wanted in April, but I was offered the one I really needed in August.
I'm learning to be more patient. I'm learning to be more receiving. More forgiving. More tolerant.
I'm learning from others. Teaching others. Helping others. Loving others. Praising others.
But, I'm also realizing that sometimes the people I put so much trust in & and place high expectations on aren't necessarily deserving of it.
Part of being a Mother, is screening, and being cautious to preserve the safety & innocence of your children. I will never accept that I am wrong in that. I do the best I know is right.
At this point my marriage is exciting again, my children are excelling, my career as a geriatric nurse is fulfilling, my family is loving, I am growing as a person. As a wife, mother, daughter, sister, nurse, friend.
Nothing is ever perfect. But we have to make do with what we have, create what we need from it. Make a decision not to let our lives defeat us. Make the changes necessary to be what we really want to BE.

I am...

2011-11-07T18:21:00.001-08:00

Struggling with the convenience of marriage vs. the need for romance.
The feeling of new love.
The feeling of sincere adoration.
Need.
Desire.
The mysteries of the unknown.
The high.
The newness.
Spontaneity.
The rush.
The crush.
The secrets.
The laughter.

Black Hole

2011-05-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

What a crazy past 12 days I have had.
Erratic shifts at work.
I suggested a seperation of My husband & I for 2 weeks...which was resolved with a very deep, emotional conversation.
Yardwork.
Then...an email that slightly shattered my little world.
The job I have been waiting to get an interview for, has ceased the application process at this time. "It in no way signifies a lack of qualification on your part..."

I am not going to lie.
I have been struggling in my mind, and soul about how I could feel right leaving the current job that I have, which is primarily elderly care, geriatric, some skilled/post surgical, would care, etc. But, mostly, the elderly population.
I love what I do. I feel like I am making a difference every time I go to work, showing them my love, kindness, and compassion. Treating them with respect.
Going from this type of work to a job promoting the health of felons, was a mind struggle.
It was, however, a job change I was willing to make to be more financially stable, provide better health insurance for my large family, and re-enter the work force full time after the past 6 years of being on-call to raise my babies.
It was the lst bit of hope I had left for a 'change'.
I was holding on to it very tightly, and had convinced myself, I was worthy, and that I would make it to the end, and secure this job.

So, Here I am.
In a nasty slump of self pity.
Hoping for a spark.
This just puts me back down into the hole that I thought I was slowly crawling out of.
I hate feeling 'stuck'.
Realizing that, I'm not going ANYWHERE.
There is nowhere to go.

Tantrum in a Tiara

2011-04-28T23:34:00.000-07:00

Sweet Leah Dee wore her crown this eve as we playfully spoke in a very poor british accent ( i will admit), handed around miniature red velvet cupcakes, and discussed the Royal Wedding.

She seemed to be rather intrigued by the idea of a real life wedding of a prince & princess. But, as she ate her mini cupcake, which I kept calling 'tea cakes', she began to frown, and then as she slowly placed the entire cupcake in her mouth, it became a full on tantrum of sorts. She was balling, and the cupcake was barely being held in her teeth.

All I can attribute her behaviour to is lack of sleep, she was probably over tired.

In any case, I am going to DVR as much as I can of the wedding, the good stuff, for her to see tomorrow afternoon.

One thing I have always loved is a wedding, and a Royal Wedding is sure to thrill my own little Princess.

You Get What You Get

2011-04-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

Fortitude –noun

mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger, or temptation courageously.

I read a blog yesterday that really clicked for me. It was over at Clover Lane, one of my favorite blogs. Her post was about how a Mother should always possess fortitude.

As well, this repetitive statement my children keep saying to eachother, which the 2 small ones learned from school:

"YOU GET WHAT YOU GET, SO YOU DON'T THROW A FIT!"

It all got me thinking about how even though there are things I want for Me, that I still need to remember what is most obviously right in front Me & needing Me. I was so much more content with the idea of not working, as long as I knew my children were cared for, had some semblance of a routine, were where they needed to be, and able to rely on Me to be there. Not some stranger that I was paying to care for them.

The problem is that as they have grown, and are all in school now, it is leaving me with large blocks of free time that make it really hard to justify my not working full time, or even part time regularly.

I have become restless.

But, I do realize I need to take a step back, stop sulking, feeling sorry for myself, and find joy in the current situation that I am in. I may feel like a taxi driver, and maid. But, at the end of the day when Lulu wants nothing more than a kiss, hug, and tuck into bed with a story from ME, I want to be there. I DESIRE TO BE THERE.

They do still need Me, regardless of my need, and desires to begin working outside of the home more.

It's such a hard balance.

Restless

2011-04-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

This waiting, waiting, waiting is making me CRAZY!

I am not one that likes to wait, I like things to move quickly, very rapid in succession. I like to be done with what I am doing, working on, waiting for promptly.

I just can't take it much longer!

The fact that I have not worked since last friday is also making things worse. I am home, running kids around, late start, early release, soccer practice, girl's on the run, dance team meetings...doing laundry, cleaning the house over & over, perseverating over the application I turned in Monday...

I need some more effective distraction!

Every other job I applied for hired me on the spot, as I turned in the application, or the next day during an very short interview. I am not used to waiting, worrying, hoping vs. just knowing I will get the job.

Why did I do this to myself?

Ready for Battle

2011-04-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

I turned in my application today. Shaking as I walked to the window.
As I was getting ready this morning, I was thinking it over, and over. Analyzing the whole process in my mind. Thinking of all the reasons why I should stand out over others, and why I deserve to be chosen.
Although, I know, regardless of how I feel, I still have to wade through the application process just like anyone else.
However, I passed the test to allow for the application to be filled out, and that makes me feel slightly superior. I mean, not only am I applying for a nursing job. But, a nursing job working with law enforcement. It somehow makes me feel a little bit more special. Especially since the selection process is obviously so much more thorough, and precise.

We shall see what transpires.

No matter what, I know I am worthy of everything I desire.

Easter 2011

2011-04-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter!

I spent the day making a King Arthur braided bread wreath!

Gracie Mae helped me, and it was the biggest fun today. I placed 5 brightly colored eggs in the wreath, and it cooked them to a boiled egg consistency while baking with bread for 45 minutes! It was so cool to see it actually work right. I was impressed. I think I will make it every year. Lulu loved it.

We also had a spiral ham, asparagus from the grill, salad, deviled eggs, fruit salad that Lulu helped to make, and Mom's potato salad.
I tried making some Bird's Nest cookies, but they kids ate the malt candy eggs off, and discarded the rest, so I am guessing it wasn't such a hit. Except I did see D sneaking, and devouring a few.
It rained a ton today, so we waited to hide eggs outside til we had a dry spell. But, what the 'easter bunny' did do was hide some plastic eggs with treats in the house to get the kids started. Then later on, we hid the colored eggs a few times, and on the 3rd round I added in 6 special eggs.

They were allowed to find 2 total each, then let the others find thier own 2. So as to avoid one kid getting 4 of the 6. You see, I filled them with $1-$3. I never do that, but it was a special surprise! 3 were golden, 3 were 'gem' eggs. Leah found 2 gem eggs, Drew found one of each, and the Boy found 2 golden eggs. I gave them the option of trading BEFORE opening, but they chose not to. So, Leah ended up with a toy, candy & $2. Drew made out with candy, and $3. The Boy made out with $5.

This made Drew mad, but they did have the option of trading! Leah was perfectly happy with her pretty gem eggs regardless of the money!

Gracie Mae is too big for finding eggs, she helps Mom hide them now. She was perfectly happy with her chocolate bunny, and Easter Barbie...yes, My Teen still plays with Barbie's!

I bought each of the kids 'colored' bubbles. I will say this...they are BRIGHTLY COLORED, the bubbles leaked all over, the girls were very cautious with using them, but they are supposed to be washable.

We visited with my Parents, ofcourse that including some Wii game play with Grace getting Grandma to play Just Dance 2, Samba De Amigo, and Zumba...but Grandma mostly sat down and watched the girls.

Leah gave Grandma her BAB Bunny, and Beau gave Grandma his Owl...for 'just in case, so we have toys to play with when we stay the night at Grandma's House Mom!"

I think they love Grandma & Grandpa so much they would give them ALL thier Build a Bears if they asked!

A New Fork in the Road

2011-04-20T18:45:00.001-07:00

I am now filling out the application. 14 pages, but only 13 pages to fill out, 1 page of instructions.

As I fill out the sections, page by page, I am feeling so proud of who I have become.

If I hadn't made the choices I made years ago to correct the wrong I had gotten myself into, I would not be able to apply for the job that I am today.

I wouldn't be able to climb the ladders, prove myself, prove TO myself that I am worth every moment of the time they are spending on pursuing me for this job.

I feel very satisfied with the path I chose.

I am also making my children proud of thier Mother, showing them that even I can continue to make changes, and pursue new avenues. Showing them that they can one day do the same. That just because you made one terrible mistake or two, it doesn't mean that you have to give up. It doesn't mean your life is over, and it certainly doesn't mean you aren't worthy of what you WANT.

I am going to do all I can to show them that they are worth everything, and anything they desire in life. That they are never stuck, and should never settle for the lesser options out of fear of failure, or an assumed feeling of defeat.

If I can become who I am, after what I did, then certainly, so can every single one of my children achieve even more than I have.

Waiting....

2011-04-20T12:52:00.001-07:00

I started the test at 10am, and I was finished by 11:30am.

I was told if I do not recieve a call today, I am to complete the 14 pg. application and turn it in by Monday.

So, it is nearly 1pm, and I have not yet recieved a call. Is it safe to say I should be planning on filling out the application? Hmmm, I think I am gonna give it til 4pm max before I get too excited. I recieved the call last time around by 12:45pm, so I am probably safe, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

I fall hard.

There were 4 sections to this law enforcement standardized test. They give this test to the deputies as well. Each section is timed 15, 20, or 25 minutes.

For the last section, punctuation, grammar...He gave this instruction: K.I.S.S.- Keep It Simple Stupid.

He said that many testers tend to fail it even though the basic idea is to create a proper sentence from questions about the information in a police report. He said that some people either give a short answer NOT in sentence form, or end up writing a near paragraph. I found that humorous. I mean, we are talking about Men & Women going into law enforcement primarily. Not Nurses. They also say that Nurses tend to do better on the test overall, than Deputies. Now, that really makes me giggle. Kinda sad, actually.

I didn't struggle, but, I did take the max time for the 1st section, Math.

Not because I am stupid, but I wanted to be sure I was correct, and complete. The next few sections were 'cake'!

In fact, I finished all the following 3 sections, many minutes before the other 2 testing nurses.

I was 1 of 3 today.

Last time I was 1 of 5.

So, My odds are greater, and my confidence was higher. I feel good.

The Test

2011-04-19T16:33:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I test again for a new Job that I had applied for over a month ago. It is a standardized test for a county/city job as a Jail Nurse. I wasn't sure at first if I really wanted to try again, since I had come to terms with the fact that I hadn't done well the first time around, and adjusted to the idea that it wasn't meant for me.

But, the benefits are amazing, and if I do pass this time, then atleast I have a chance. It would be better for my family, and I would be able to finally start back to working full time. I haven't worked full time since I had the babies, but the babies are 6 & 7 now. Not babies anymore!

So, today I found a nice new shirt to wear to make me feel more confident, and I plan to get some good rest tonight, so that I am up to my best tomorrow morning. I am nervous, I won't lie. But, I know I am good enough, I know I deserve this 2nd chance, and I hope to prove to myself that I can pass this test!

Bruised

2011-04-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

I am a Mother.

I put this on the top of my list of priorities, but I am also a Wife.

I have needs, and I have been feeling extremely neglected lately. I want to sit, and chat, talk about the day, the kids, and what is happening in the next few days, remind my Husband about events coming up, when kids need picked up/dropped off.

Simple Married/Parental communication.

I am not getting it.

HE isn't getting it, that I NEED this.

I spend all day reminding kids, and myself about the days events. I am constantly thinking about what is next, who needs what, when, what time. When I finally get some time in the evening to stop, and sit to relax, I want to have some more adult conversation.

But, all D wants to do is watch t.v.

Last night, I tried to stimulate some conversation while he was watching t.v. He got up, walked over to the remote, muted the T.V. and said..."What, NOW?" Like, I had been interrupting something horridly important for hours!

I got up, and walked out. Forget that. I don't need that type of reaction.

Today, I ran errands, got him some Healthy frozen dinners for his next two days night shifts, and salads to take. Bought a couple pizza's, one of his favorites to bake for dinner before he left for work.

When I got home I had to preheat the oven, so I did that, and planned to run to get the Boy from school in the meantime, then put the pizza in the oven for D when I got home, before he woke up.

But, He woke up as I was leaving, so I thought I would explain why the oven was on so He wouldn't turn it off while I was getting the Boy.

He snapped at me, started slamming cupboards, yelling how I can't just slam him with a list of chores as soon as he wakes up.

Well, if he would have LISTENED, he would have understood that THAT was NOT what I was doing.

It's bullshit. So, I wasn't able to tell him I had gotten him frozen dinners, and salads to take to work, or that I was baking his pizza first for him to eat before he left. Nope.

He left with a huge slam of the door, like a big fat baby throwing a tantrum, telling ME I need help?

See ya Jack!

I need to find more things in my life to entertain me outside of being a Mother, so my mission is to find something for ME this year. Marriage is not enough to keep me content.

My Baby is 6!

2011-04-18T22:00:00.001-07:00

Lovely Leah is 6 years old.
I just can't believe how time has flown by! I distinctly remember her tiny little body army crawling across the floor, and her tiny little hands making gummy bears talk to eachother on her high chair tray. It just doesn't seem as if it could possibly be so long ago!

I made her a Barbie Cake. She wanted a pretty princess cake, and so I made my first doll cake.

She loved it!

It was so fun to put such a big smile on her face. I love my Lulu.

Then, last week I noticed she had a tooth coming in behind one of her bottom baby teeth, and it had broken the gum. The baby tooth in front of it was really loose, so I enlisted the help of Daddy to pop it loose so I could finish the job. She cried so hard, mostly over the blood she kept peeking at on the napkin. But, soon enough she was over it, and excited to move on to the 'tooth fairy' coming with money.

Big Brother Beau, however was very upset by the fact that he is older, and he hasn't lost a tooth yet. He was even more upset when he realized the tooth fairy wasn't coming for him, only Leah. These 2 are so close, and have always been so, it's funny to see them get jealous of the other, all over a lost tooth, or lack there of. Soon enough it will be his turn.

For now, Little Lulu is definitely showing me that she is growing up! It kinda makes me sad. But, I am enjoying the school age years with the both of them too. I just really miss my babies.

Happy Snow Day!

2011-02-24T11:25:00.000-08:00

The snow looked like mountains of cotton candy, and felt like I was stepping on a path of fine powder.

It's already melting at 11:32am.

Small ones made snow angels, slide down a snow covered slide, and jumped on the trampoline with 4 inches of snow bouncing back up at them.

The first snow is always a beautiful sight.

The Let Down...

2011-02-23T20:52:00.000-08:00

Well, I gave it a go. I did try. I messed up. I made a mistake. And it cost me.

Either this is some sick joke, or God is simply telling me..."Not now."

I have put my children first for nearly 6 long years. Put my career on the side, working a little here and there. Getting nowhere.

I can't say that I am completely let down, I guess I just placed the value of myself so much higher than I should have. I have a tendency to do that. Aim High, Shoot Low.

Whatever the case, what's meant to be will always find a way.

It's just so hard to finally open your mind to something new, a new idea & desire...only to have the opportunity slip through your fingers.

Maybe what this really means, is that I am where I need to be. I do something that I love, and I think that it shows through. I've often wondered who would take my place if I were to leave. Who would do what I do, care like I care, love like I love.

I'll figure it out.

Lulu is my Ferris Bueller

2011-02-23T09:03:00.001-08:00

Man watches the news, and weather every day. Where as I tend to go on what it looks like outside. And, this week, the talk has been all about snow.
Ofcourse the smalls ones pick up on the snow talk.
For that matter, ALL the kids always pick up on snow talk!

So, this morning the Boy and Lulu were discussing that this was a snow day. Lulu asssumed that since there was supposedly going to be snow at some point today, well then, she should have a snow day THIS MORNING.

When I explained to her that this simply wasn't how it worked, not the case, she wasn't at all happy.

She was deeply involved with playing Barbie's, and requesting Wheat Thins at 8am.

So, as I was rounding up back packs, lunches, and telling them to get socks on, Lulu decided she had a tummy ache. Because her tummy needed wheat thins. But, I don't just give them snacks in the morning. So, she kept doubling over, like she was in extreme pain, whining, and I told her to eat a banana.
She kept on complaining, so I gave her some kids pepto.
You see, I knew she wasn't really sick. She was playing sick to get to stay home and have snacks, watch TV without her brother, and sisters interfering, and play dolls.
I let her know, that if she was sick, she would not be playing dolls, or eating snacks, she would be in bed resting like sicks kids should.

I took the Boy to school, go home, and Lulu is lying on the couch watching a cartoon. After about 10 minutes she asked for Wheat Thins. I said, "NO, you are sick remember?" She waited about 5 more minutes before she asked, "Are oranges healthy?" I said, "Yes, but remember, you are sick. You just had medicine. You don't get a snack right now."

She is not starved. She had a full bowl of cereal, snuck wheat thins when I took Grace to late start, then ate a whole banana.
She is simply pulling one over on me. Or atleast, thinks she is. I'm a weathered Momma. I know when my kids are sick vs. just faking it.

Lulu is faking it. She is my Ferris Bueller today.

Cake Pop Love & Valentine Suitors

2011-02-11T14:23:00.000-08:00

We are finishing up Valentine's this afternoon, and I just love the ones that the Boy chose to make. Ofcourse, He needs Mommy's help, but they are just so stinkin' cute!
I bought cheap playing cards from the $ store, pipe cleaners (one full one cuts up to make 4 pieces perfect for one suitor), a bag of suckers, red construction paper cute into 29 tiny hearts using a tiny heart cookie cutter for the stencil, and tiny google eyes. A glue stick to stick the heart onto the card, and tacky glue (brand specific) to glue the google eyes on, and they stay on well with tacky glue. You'll also need a hole punch for the arm and leg holes.
It goes rather quickly once everything is prepared.

And, today was Lulu's Special K treat day. This entire week was her Special K week, when she is in the spotlight with pictures of her from baby-hood til now, and special events like our trip to Disney, pics of her with Tinkerbell, Mary Poppins, and Minnie Mouse, which were her favorite, were all posted on the cork board all week, and she got to talk about her favorite things to eat, do, favorite book, toy, etc. Then today she got to bring a treat for everyone that she chose.

So, here are is a picture of her with one of the cake pops we made yesterday. Her face was lit up with excitement, and all of the children loved them! A few of the girls came up to me and said, "You make the best treats ever!" One little girl said, "You and my Mom make the best treats!" It made all the mess worthwhile!

My Cake Pop Venture

2011-02-10T20:11:00.000-08:00

Today I played around with making some cake pops and cake balls. I love to make things and when I saw Bakerella's CAKE POPS book, I had to have it! I love all the adorable things she makes.

As with anything, practice makes perfect, and I definitely need a lot more practice.

Today my goal was to make some heart shaped cake pops for Lulu's Special K treat day tomorrow. The book says..."Give yourself plenty of time...about 1 hour"...HA!

Try 8 hours. Atleast.
Here's what really happened...
I baked a cake at 10 am. It cooled while I picked up Lulu from school & made a grocery run.
When I got home about 1:30pm, I crumbled the cake and added the frosting, then made my 'balls'. I put them all in the refridgerator for a few hours. One thing I did not anticipate, was the lack of space in my freezer for the stated 15 minutes I need to place the balls to firm up.
So, after a few hours, I took some out, I had to make 18 hearts. I used my smallest heart cookie cutter to mold them, then I put them back in the fridge for another hour or more.
I had 6 candy melt colors. It took forever to get all of them melted, so I had to enlist the help of my Big Girl to melt them as I dipped each pop to keep things moving before the candy melt hardened again. It was a nightmare!
Candy dripped everywhere, and it's not so easy to clean up. And the 6 plastic bowls I used for the melts are still at this moment coated with hardened candy melt. I give up. That's gonna wait for tomorrow.

Each time I dipped a heart on a pop into the candy melt, it nearly fell off, or broke in half from the weight of the melt on it as I pulled it out, or it kept dripping and dripping, taking up so much time per pop.
So, I did my best, made 18 (sloppy in MY eyes) heart cake pops for Lulu's class, and used the remaining balls to dip as quickly as I could to just simply make cake balls instead of cake pops.
Lulu put the hearts on top as I sat them on the wax paper.

The Wilton Cake Pop stand I purchased for a few dollars, well, it was a nightmare too. The holes the sticks are supposed to stick in as they dry are so hard to push the stick thru, a few pops hit eachother causing ugly bumps, and/or one to tip over.

So, I would still recommend buying Bakerella's book. I love her, and I love making cute edible things for my Lulu!

Just be sure you have a full day to play!

I GOT THE CALL!

2011-02-10T16:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, so in so many ways I had never planned on changing jobs. I have been completely content with the type of nursing I do, working with geriatric/alzheimers/post surgical patients. I love seeing a smile on an alzheimer's patients face when you tell them Hello and give them a hug. Just loving them the way they are.

However, I have been struggling lately with the idea of increasing my hours, and how that would effect my children, and family. I have been juggling ideas in my head of using some of my hobbies to create some cash flow, and fill some of my free time that I have now that my children are all in school 5 days a week.

So, last week, I received a message requesting my interest in a nursing job that is full time. After running the hours, how it would work with small ones, and my husband work schedule, etc...I decided it may work and I went for a tour, then applied on the spot.

I have been so anxious waiting for the call. THE CALL! Waiting for the call was making me nuts! I finally got it!
I have an appointment to go in for initial testing next Wednesday A.M. By no means does this mean I have the job, but it's a start.

My Sister is helping me get my resume ready, and I have wonderful references. I am so blessed to have the support that I do at this time in my life. I truly have some of the most amazing people working with me that are willing to help me even if it means they hate to see me go, they understand a change is necessary.

Multi-Talented Momma?

2011-01-31T10:23:00.001-08:00

So...
I can bake.
I can create.
I can sew.
I can write.
I can photograph.

But, I'm a Nurse...A Mother...A Wife.

I can't stop being a Mother, or Wife.
I don't want to stop being a Nurse.

However, My hours for nursing are so irregular, and unreliable lately.
I am seriously considering making something of one of my hobbies, talents.

I think often times I don't give myself enough credit. Then, when I see things other people do, create, or sell to make a living...I think to myself...WHY WHY WHY didn't I think of that!???

I have sewn since I was 8 years old.
I have baked with my Mother since I was in Middle School.
I have loved photography, and worked on learning more and more since I was in 7th grade.
I excelled in creative writing courses through out High School, and once wrote a simple Childrens Book for my own Daughter while taking a childrens book course thru snail mail.
I can do just about anything I desire!

I don't want to stop being a Nurse. I love my Job.
But, it's not enough for me right now.
My babies are gone. I have school age children now.

I have got to figure something out for myself, and my family that I can do to fill my time, and create extra funds.

I just have to make myself MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Content, No Regret

2011-01-24T11:39:00.000-08:00

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
— Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)

Today is my Birthday. I am 34.
I always try to think back at the past year, what I accomplished, and what I didn't quite get to that I wish I would have, or possibly should have.
Some struggles have presented to me this past year, and I like to think I handle them the best way I know how.
I am not perfect, but I do my best to do the right thing.

One thing I know this very day is that I am loved.

There are days I wonder, and days I doubt. But, today it has been made very clear.

My Children love me, regardless of discipline.
My Husband loves me, regardless of disagreements.
My Parents love me, regardless of my past.
I love Me, regardless of my imperfections and shortcomings...and that's important too.

When someone askes you if you are satisfied with your life, what do you say?
I say, YES. Absolutely.
It's not ideal, and it's definitely not easy.
But, I love my Children with all my heart. I would never regret my life.
However, I will constantly seek new & better ways to do things, and I will also continue to push myself to do those things that I may find too difficult, or challenging. Nothing is impossible. And, I am no fan of those 3 words...I GIVE UP.
I never have.

"So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed)..."
— Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)

Happy Birthday to my Handsome One!

2011-01-23T22:15:00.000-08:00

The Boy has turned 7 years old!

I worked very hard to make him a unique cake this year. On my own, no help, and from scratch. I used fondant, edible cake markers, spray and lustre dust. I made Him his Rainbow Trout cake!

I was so proud of myself. I know I know, get off that cloud, but really, I accomplished something that I really truly thought I would mess up.

It took me 2 hours of baking, 2 hours of decorating. I just love how it turned out!

Cake Boss...here I come!

Trick Sparkler Candles

He chose a Swimming Party at a local indoor pool.

Most of the kids he invited came, which thrilled him.

His most treasured gift is the RC Boat I had gotten him. We took it out today to practice driving it around the lake, which started out rather terribly. I hadn't had time to tell him to turn it on before he ran down the bank and put the boat in the water, OFF, and gave it a push. Before I could get close enough it had floated out halftway into the small of the lake. I was speechless & helpless!

We waited for the wind to blow it slowly to the opposite edge, so that I could reach in with a twig and pull it back to me. It took awhile, but once we got it back, I explained he had to make sure it was on before he put it in the water.

He drove it for quite awhile, and said it was 'the best present ever!' I just adore that Boy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANDSOME!

0750

2011-01-13T12:54:00.000-08:00

Drew received an alarm clock for Christmas, with rainbow digital light up numbers, but no music, just one annoying sound. She had been upset with Me for not waking her every morning at 7am. So, when she got the alarm clock, I showed her how to set it and she decided she must get up everyday at 0645. This is the time I get up to make lunches on a usual morning roughly.
I get up this morning, and I have noticed a few mornings this week as well...her alarm is sounding loudly, but NO Drew arises.
I make lunches, the small ones breakfast and at 0740 I realize I still don't hear Drew rustling around, no shower running...
I should have woken her up, like a 'nice' Mother would, but I want her to learn to be responsible. Part of that is getting up on time, and leaving for the bus on time. She wants more freedom, and trust, afterall, as she told me last night..."I'm getting bigger MOOOOOOOM!"
At 0750 I finally hear the shower running, and a rushed Drew rustling in the bathroom.
She usually leaves for the bus about 0810, but at 0811 she is still drying her hair as the neighbor girls knocks on the door to get her, as they walk together to the bus stop.
Drew opens the door to tell her she isn't ready yet. She runs through the hallway gathering her things, never quite made it to the kitchen for breakfast. She should be greatful I don't make her make her own lunch!

She also received a watch in her stocking for Christmas, to show some personal responsibility as well with being home on time when she has been given a time to come home from a friends house, or outing to the school park with friends.
When I was gone one evening, D let her go to the park with a friend, NO watch, near dark. I get home to find it's dark, raining, and Drew is not home, she's at the park! I was livid with D. So he got in his car and drove to find her. Where's her Cell Phone some might ask...well, I don't believe a 10 yo girl needs one. She needs to be responsible by watching the time, weather, and be aware of the approaching darkness, calculating the time it would take to get home before dark. She needs to think. BE RESPONSIBLE.

Also, she recieved an MP3 player. I am perfectly fine with loading music onto it for her, as I will not allow her freedom of use of a computer either.
However, to load music it has to be from a CD for an MP3. She insists on waiting until 7 or 7:30pm to ask, "Mom, can you get on itunes and put music on my MP3 player?" ....AFTER she has spent the entire afternoon playing, or doing schoolwork or projects with friends. Her bedtime is 8:30pm, and the small ones need put to bed by 8pm, I have no time to play with itunes buying music, and making a CD to then load to her MP3 at that time. She has asked this 3 evenings in a row, and even waited until last night at 7:30-8pm to ask me to make an entire scrapbook calendar with her, throwing a near tantrum when told NO.

I realize this is part of Her growing up, learning, testing, and a lot to do with Hormones. But, come on already...Her stubbornness is getting old. I can't stand the attitude. She is such a challenge for me right now. I need a vacation...if only from this ONE child of mine!

Milkshake Cupakes!

2011-01-11T16:44:00.000-08:00

Bakerella's Milkshake Cupcakes are so stinkin' adorable! I just cannot let the image go from my mind. Idea's on how to use them are flowing through me like crazy! Valentine's Day, Birthday's, Summer Parties!

As many of those how know me, know I WILL find a way to make them work in something I do!

I am thinking....

Lulu's 6th Birthday Party

Icecream Parlor (if I can find one...)

50's theme, Poodle skirts and saddle shoes.

Lots of PINK

...and ofcourse, MILKSHAKE CUPCAKES!

Omg...I just can't wait to make them!

Pamela Topping Photography Giveaway~Rockstar Actions!

2011-01-07T10:46:00.000-08:00

I love giveaways! I love Photography! I love Photo Editing!

Pamela Topping Photography Blog is having a giveway for the New Year of her new Rockstar PSE Actions!

What could be more fabulous?!

Go check it out!

There ain't nothin' Glamorous about My Morning...

2011-01-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

I now have 4 kids in school 5 days a week. 3 lunches to pack, 4 breakfasts to make, 3 alarms that go off.
I rise at 6:40am to get the first girl off to the bus, with lunch in hand. I then make the other 2 lunches while I wait for the other 3 to wake up.
I get breakfast ready 1 by 1 as they arrive groggy, with squinted eyes to the breakfast bar.
Lulu always needs me to get out her clothes for her, exclaiming, "...but I don't know what to wear!" She's just lazy. She's the baby. Mommie's Baby.
The 2 smalls like to watch a cartoon or 2 while I get Drew off to school, ensuring she has a jacket of some shape or form on her body in this freezing 30-something degree weather. This girl will skip out the door in a sweatshirt with wet hair.
About 8:20 the smalls have to get dressed, brush thier teeth, hair, gather back packs, homework, library books, etc.
Long ago I gave up trying to get myself around, so I'm lucky if it's not such a terrible bed head day. I grab a cup of coffee to warm my hands as I slip on my boots, scarf, and jacket.
The smalls get dropped of around 8:45, and I make my way home to sit, relax cuddled up in a blanket with my coffee, and a book or the laptop.
But...Lets not forget the morning storm of 4 kids in 1 bathroom that I clean up daily. 2 blankets sprawled on the couch with 2 stuffed animals nearby, 3 empty cereal bowls, 3 piles of PJ's, 2 wet towels, 1 tootpaste smeared sink & countertop, 1 unflushed toilet, 1 empty roll of toilet paper, and 3 unmade beds.
As much as I hate to do this everyday, it's my routine, and one day, they will all be grown & gone. No more beds to make, PJ's to pick up, or toothpaste to scrub off the counter.
For now, I'll just enjoy the quiet during which I do the clean up.

Eat...Pray...Love

2011-01-03T23:49:00.001-08:00

I'm in a slump.

It's cold, and I don't like the cold.

Not one bit.

I love the Sun. And, I need it badly right about now.

But, for the time being, I'm snuggled up on the couch, by my still standing, and lit up Christmas tree, reading EAT PRAY LOVE.

I love this book. I really LOVE LOVE LOVE this book.

It inspires me. Ignites a fire within.

Makes me think more about what I want out of life.

Where I want to go. What I want to see and do.

If you haven't yet...you really should, read THIS book.

By Christmas light, or Fire light, or simply by a teeny tiny Book light...just read it. With your snuggie on, and a cup of cocoa. Read it.

It will stir the passion inside you.

Speechless...

2010-12-17T10:54:00.000-08:00

Well, not really. I have a lot to say.
Nobody wants to hear it. Ever. But, I say it anyway.

I have times when the anger grows so rapildy inside, that I can't stop the overflow of thoughts turned to words.
I have many that I can't suppress right now.

I would like to physically harm people at times. I think we all would.

I would like to grab them by thier shoulders, and shake them til they can't see straight.
But, then, it's because of them not seeing straight in the first place, that I am at this point of rage.

Perception is everything. No one person can perceive anything the same way that you do. It creates a lot of frustration at times.

All I know is that I have passed the stage of being passive, and letting well enough alone. I have crossed the line toward pure hate. It may very well be UN-HOLY, but at this point, I don't care.

Back stabbing, stealing, lying...none of those are HOLY acts.

This person will no longer be a part of my life.
This is my Intervention, my statement to you. You have lost me forever. I will no longer sit passive and let you stab me in my back while you laugh. I will no longer let you hurt me. Wall is Up.

Merry Thanks-Mas!

2010-12-15T22:19:00.000-08:00

My Husband and I both worked on Thanksgiving this year, so we never got to have a Turkey dinner. The kids stayed with my Mom, and she had made a chicken dinner, which a couple of the kids expressed as disappointing.
I guess you don't realize how a break in tradition really affects a kid until it's broken.

So, D received a free turkey from his Union this week. We decided that the next time we are all home together in the evening, no soccer practice, no swim lessons, we would make our Turkey Dinner.

When I told the kids this morning at breakfast, Lulu shrieked in absolute glee! And she's the youngest, yet already the tradition is engrained IN her. They were thrilled! Which triggered a question, as well.
..."But if it's not Thanksgiving, or Christmas...then what is it? What do we call it?"
Think quick Mom! Well...."It's Thanks-Mas, ofcourse!"
They giggled.

So, today I made sweet potato casserole, a chocolate cake, mashed potatos with turkey gravy, stuffing, french green beans, rolls, and ofcourse, a Turkey. The kids sipped on sparkling apple cider. We made coffee after dinner, and my Parents & Sister even came.

We made our Turkey Dinner!

My Chocolate Cake

My family recipe...Sweet Potato Casserole (really, it's yams)

Christmas Goodies

2010-12-14T23:10:00.000-08:00

Every year I try to buy one or two new christmas decorations that call to me. Must haves.

This is just that.

I had to have it.

It's perfect!

I love how the price for Candy Canes says 5 cents. I also love that it's red. I love how the candy canes hang perfectly inside, not getting all scrunched together & breaking.

The next thing on my list is a vintage tree topper.

I Heart Faces~ Pets Entry

2010-12-12T23:19:00.000-08:00

My Entry for this weeks I Heart Faces photo contest, theme PETS.

King Oliver has slowly warmed up to the presence of our Christmas tree. He appears to be eyeing my Son's Nemo ornament. This was simply a lucky shot!

Candy House Caper

2010-12-12T09:36:00.000-08:00

We finally made our Ginger Bread House.
One thing that always upsets me is the picture on the box of what the gingerbread house is supposed to look like, is never achievable. They never provide you with the proper candies in the kit to make your gingerbread house look like the one on the box. Lulu was upset because she wanted to make the windows the same. It was quickly forgotten once they started putting candies on the roof.

Maybe it was I that was most bothered by the lack of certain supplied candies, preventing me from creating a work of art. But, then it's not about me, it's thier craft and they made it just fine. They applied the candies as Mommy applied the royal icing.
Mommy made a crooked doorway and windows. Oh well.

Lulu's side of roof

The Boys side of roof

Lulu informed me..."I can't wait til you & Dad are gone then I am gonna eat all the candy off!"
Sounds just like something she said a couple year ago as we were making our ginger bread house. Candy Lou!
I WILL know it was her when I come home and find 1/2 of the candy missing off the ginger bread house, and her response is, "Hooooow did you knooooow?"

They woke me this morning exclaiming that they had found candy in thier stockings.
I had received a bag of candies from work, a couple santa shaped chocolates, a couple mints, and I didn't want them so I had dropped them in the kids' stockings last night, thinking, they would never know til Christmas.
I was wrong.
They woke up and found them first thing.
So, I asked how they knew anything was in thier stocking. Both the Boy and Lulu said,

"We check our stockings everyday!"
Well, now why didn't I know that?
Sneaky little Monkeys!

I also realize that I only have one last Lulu that believes in Santa.
The Boy has informed me over & over that Daddy is Santa. Thing is...really, it's Mommy. Daddy never does the shopping!
I'm gonna have to muzzle him if he keeps yelling that there is no Santa, because I will not let him ruin the magic for my Little Lulu.

Best & Worst of Christmas Past...

2010-12-08T09:04:00.000-08:00

I was thinking of all the gifts in our past, gifts between my Husband and I. And some of the kids' gifts too that may have either been the best or worst gifts ever. I came up with a handful.

I'll start with the worst:

Our first christmas together, D did his shopping all on his own for me, no ideas, and no direction. I was very young, and maybe 116 lb. D gave me a white, ALL white, jogging suit. Now, if it had been black I would have worn it, but it was one of those things I smiled big for his benefit & then hid it in the back of my closet, fearful to return it and have him find out that I no longer have it, even though I never wore it & eventually ended up giving it to a friend of mine.

Our 2nd Christmast together, I had asked for a jean jacket. You know, a basic denim, button front, GAP style jean jacket. But, on christmas day, I opened up a box that held an oversized denim COAT, that hit me mid-thigh, was lined with plaid quilted flannel, and had huge brown marbled buttons all the way down. I felt like I was engulfed inside a bubble when I wore it. But, I hadn't the heart to say so, or to return it, and so I hid it in the closet with the white jog suit.

Almost every Christmas he also seems to get me JOVAN MUSK. I hadn't the heart to say I hated it at first, but after 10 years of it, I finally said...STOP. I haven't received a single Jovan Musk for 5 years. Hallelujah!

On to some of the best:

Our 3rd Christmas came...THE RING. He had me go look at rings with him, and all I wanted to emphasize was that I did NOT want your basic round diamond, I wanted a princess cut solitaire. He did well this time. I got my ring, it looked like I wanted it to, He proposed, all was good.

After that year, it seems everything I received revolved around cleaning or cooking.
I have received Magic Erasers in my stocking, Dutch Bros.Bucks, Coffee Punch Cards, Books, Gloves, A Photo Printer. One year He bought the family a new computer, and our first Digital Snapshot Camera, which was 1 month before the Boy was born...I took that camera over!
I've received...Dirt Devil Cone, a new broom (lame, but I still have that broom, it's the best one ever!) White merril nursing shoes when I was in nursing school. An external hard drive for my photos. Silver dime size hoop earrings, my favorite size. An electric blanket.
One year he went in with my parents & they bought me a Serger for sewing. Oh, and last year, his own idea...Seacret Hand Lotion/Nail Care kit. But, that was because he got one for his Mom, then it was BOGO, so he got one for his sister, and one for Grace, so I got one too. Still a nice gift.

Overall, He's done a decent job. Now, we shall see what evolves this year. He better out do Me, or atleast match my efforts.

As for the kids...
My worst purchases:
1. "Bargain" Karaoke Machine...it lasted maybe a few months, microphones were cr*p.
2. A make up kit for a preteen girl...especially when you have a toddling girl that likes to eat lipstick & do her own eye makeup when no one is looking.
3. ANYTHING from the dollar store toy section
4. Plastic Barbie house or van or plane...plastic breaks fast & easy from small ppl constantly opening/closing doors/flaps.
5. Samsung MP3 for $25...it wasn't even worth the $25 deal
6. Bendaroos... they leave a horrid waxy residue on everything!

Some of the Best:
1. Playdough playsets
2. Legos
3. Lincoln Logs
4. Ipod Nano for a Teen (itunes cards to go along)
5. Books
6. Dolls
7. Nerf ANYTHING
8. Video Games
9. Claire's Boutique gift cards for stocking for girls
10. Pop Beads ( Target has them)
11. Thomas the Train accessories for small boys
12. Polly Pocket
13. Build A Bear gift cards ( for AFTER the madness...)

Now, some of the best gifts I have gotten for D:
1. Clothes (I dress the man!)
2. Cabela's, Itunes, or Coffee Gift cards
3. Predator Call for hunting with the Boy
4. Almond Rocha...always in his stocking!
5. Socks & Underwear fill his stocking, again...I dress the man!
6. Hats
7. Ipod Nano
8. Walkie Talkies for Hunting
9. Hunting gear/accessories/clothing
10. Cologne, the good stuff...NO Jovan Musk.
11. Tackle boxes, fishing gear.
12. Pocket Watch
13. Carhaart Jacket

Now, Share some of your least & most favorite gifts!

What a Woman really Wants...or atleast, What Makes My Boat Float!

2010-12-07T10:49:00.000-08:00

I recently saw a blog post by another blogger sharing her most prized splurges.

I started thinking...some of mine were similar to hers, but not all.

My splurges weren't necessarily for me alone, but to use to share with my family.

I would have to say Numero Uno on MY list would be my Digital SLR purchase. I splurged for sure, atleast, for me it was a splurge. I love it.

No. 2 would have to be my KitchenAid stand mixer which I purchased at Costco. I don't know how I did all the baking I have done over the years without it. I will never go back to a hand mixer.

No. 3...Laptop. I don't know why I was so hesitant in the past to purchase one, but now that I have it, it's so convenient, and so much more comfortable to sit in a recliner and blog, vs. sitting at a desk!

My future splurges? Definitely a Dyson. It's a dream of mine. Also, new stainless steel bottom freezer, with icemaker refridgerator.

I'm easy to please.

Santa likes Barbie's too!

2010-12-05T23:30:00.000-08:00

So, we are down to just one little girl that still believes in the magic of Santa. And, boy does she! She ran to Santa's lap with so much exitement in her face. She lept up & told him how much she wants a Barbie house & car for christmas. She talked to him a little while, then grabbed her candy cane, and came running over to Mommy exclaiming "SANTA LIKES BARBIE'S TOO!" I had to giggle. She is so full of energy & enthusiasm. I can only imagine what she will dream about tonight.

Perler Love

2010-12-04T14:55:00.000-08:00

I <HEART> PERLER BEADS!

I am in love, deep deep love with Perler Beads. Toss aside the Bendaroo's, Moon Sand, Glitter Glue, Playdough...I am addicted to Perler Beads. They are absolutely MESS FREE. No more moon sand scattered throughout the house, no more playdough stuck in my carpets, no more bendaroo goo residue on my mirrors & windows & dining room table, no more glitter glue splattered around the breakfast bar. No No NOOOOO.

Today we made some super cute perler bead creations with a perler set I found last night at Michael's that has instructions for sweet treats like cakes, cocoa, gingerbread men, cupcakes, etc. Right up Lulu's alley.

The best thing is that it keeps them busy for hours before they really need my help. All I have to do is iron thier creations to melt the beads together. Both of the small ones are big enough now to count out the amount of beads needed to create what they see in the picture. And, it gets ALL the kids involved. Even the big girls & sometimes Grandma.

Lulu & I made a cup of hot cocoa, a donut & a cake with candles, while the Boy created his version of a Bakugan from perler beads, and I have to say, he hit it pretty much right on...

(Please make special effort to view our creations & ignore my old, run down wood table...it's one of those things the kids ruined...)

Sh*t My Kids Ruined

2010-12-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

So, I came across this book in a magazine called Sh*t My Kids Ruined. Which got me thinking about all the hideous destructive, humorous & enraging things my 4 kids have managed to do over the past 15 years.
Let's see...we've had the lego in the nasal passageway, the tiny gem in the nasal passageway, and lets not forget the light bright pegs. Why does everything go UP the nose?

~A swallowed penny.
~The crayon mural on the textured wall in black, neon green & red.
~Eucerine cream head to toe, in the hair, on the eyelids, eyebrows, and impossible to wipe off!
~Blue marker head to toe...so THAT was why Drew was so quiet in the back seat @ 2yo.
~Blue's Clue's applesauce, add a little milk to overflow the cup, turns into blue milk. When spilled on ivory carpet creates a forever blue carpet stain! I really raged on that one.
~Purple grape soda spilled onto light blue carpet...thank god for Oxi Clean by that time!
~A very collectible TinkerBell cookie jar dropped on the kitchen floor & shattered into a million tiny pieces by one 2yo Boy looking for a cookie!
~Black crayon ran down the entire length of the ivory hallway wall.
~Red & Green gummy bear goo stuck to biege carpet fibers...fairly NEW carpet too.
~Green Glitter Glue explosion onto the kitchen cabinets.
~Overflowed poopy toilet through the entire bathroom.
~Ofcourse, the occassional random poop in the tub.
~Potty training, poop on living room carpet...::gag::
~Half eaten lipsticks by small girls.
~Red Sharpy drawings to unfinished oak wood shelving.
~Broken keys in locks.
~Broken car door handles.
~Spilled RED icee in the car...Lulu fell asleep with icee in hand.
~A web of abc gum in the back seat.
~ABC gum filled in power outlet in backseat of van.
~3 girls at different stages with gum in hair...No, ice does NOT get it out.
~Dents in car from bow & arrow practice by Boy.
~Baby slobber filled cell phone, ruined screen.
~TV remote buttons somehow disappear right off the remotes!

~Projectile vomit on My queen size down comforter (needless to say, that was tossed out, no washing option)
~OODP...Leah, @ a few months of age, had the most horrendous out-of-diaper-poop (OODP) while @ the library, on my lap, baby poop running down my leg as I try to carry baby, and direct 1 yo out of library to car, also attempting to hide the poop, cuz I had no change of clothes for baby or Mommy.

~Red Lipstick left in a jeans pocket, ran thru washer/dryer, leaving red blotched stains on every pair of jeans!

I'm losing memory @ this point, but I'm sure there's many more. Never a dull moment with small ones!

One thing I have learned through all of this, is that there a few things that are absolutely necessary to keep in your home while raising small children.

1. Goo Gone

2. Magic Erasers

3. OxiClean

4.Fels Naptha soap (for laundry stains)

5.Tweezers ( to remove foreign objects from tiny noses)

6. A Padded Room ( For Mommy to throw her tantrum in before setting forth to clean, fix, or rectify any of the above named situations)

It's a Cupcake Hat!

2010-11-29T21:20:00.000-08:00

Once again, a lovely giveaway from Pamela Topping Photography! The Pom Pom Hat, it's a cupcake! Leah would love this! Go enter to win for yourself!

I LOVE Giveaways..especially when for Photography products!

2010-11-23T14:37:00.000-08:00

Pamela Topping Photography blog is having an INCREDIBLE giveway for Black Friday this week!
Amazing choices. Check out here Camera Love Neclace too! I <3 it! Gonna get me one soon!

Super Duper Deals!

2010-11-18T22:43:00.000-08:00

So, I got this voucher/gift certificate in the mail for $25 with no minimum purchase necessary for Mini Boden. I have ordered random items in past, a t-shirt that was interesting, a pair of pants on clearance, a sundress...but never a large order by any means, so this really surprised me. I mean, Mini Boden just giving away $25? Its just unheard of!
One thing I fell in love with this fall was the Jersey Lined Cargo Camo Skate pants with elasticized waistline, rough & tough, perfect for my Boy. I ordered a pair with a % off in early fall, and he has by far loved them as well, the most out of all his pants. They are incredibly warm, and I swear they are made of magical fabric being that they withstand a tremendous beating!
My first instinct then when I received this voucher was to get the Boy another pair of these amazingly tough MiniBoden Lined Skate Pants . They retail for $46. Shipping is $10. But, with a quick service number from the recent catalog for 25% off + free ship, and THEN the deduction of the $25 voucher, I paid a mere $9.50!
Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou Mini Boden! My Boy will now have the Peat Camoflauge & Airforce Camoflauge!

Simplicity Patterns - Simplicity Craft Pattern

2010-11-18T10:50:00.000-08:00

Simplicity Patterns - Simplicity Craft Pattern
So, the kids are so in love with the felt cake I made yesterday, I have had requests from family to make one for thier kids! I love that! Above is a link to the pattern I used,it is Simplicity 2445. I got it on sale during the $1 Simplicity pattern sale 5/$5, max 10 patterns, and you can bet I bought 10!
I have been using the leftover felt remnants from making halloween costumes, and today I was able to cut out the needed pattern pieces for 4 cakes, and 5 cupcakes with whip cream topping. These are by far the funnest sewing craft I have done in awhile!
I plan to get Drew involved this evening, and Lulu is my stuffer! It's a family affair!

Who doesn't love Chocolate Cake?

2010-11-17T11:39:00.000-08:00

Especially one that is mess, bake, fat, & sugar free! Again today, Lulu & I made some felt goodies! She stuffed & I sewed. She is so excited to add this to her kitchen collection! It has renewed her interest in play baking. It is so easy to do, and I love how interested it is making her in sewing. I definitely want to pass on my passion and knowledge for sewing to atleast one of my daughters, and I am thinking it will be Lulu that ends up recieving it!

The Peace never lasts for long...

2010-11-16T20:37:00.000-08:00

I had such a peaceful morning. I took it slow, did some housework, browsed online for more information regarding the trip to Seattle, got some chili cooking in the crock pot, picked up Leah from kindergarten, and we came home to finish some chores, then we dug out a pattern to make some felt cupcakes.
I had everything already that we needed in the craft supplies, Lulu loves cupcakes in any shape or form, so it was really fun including her in the making, even though she couldn't sew, she stuffed the cupcake for me as I made the 'whipped cream'.

It turned out really cute, although, I see the flaws, and next time will make some adjustments to the pattern. We got the pattern at the $1 simplicity pattern sale @ Joann's Fabrics last weekend. I was able to grab 10 great patterns for costumes, dresses, skirts, felt food, and organizers for the kids rooms. I love to sew.

However, as the day progressed, and the other 3 kids arrived home from school, my peaceful day turned sour. The P.D.Q. decided to hit the Boy on his shoulder with the remote control because he had stuck his tongue out at her as he walked by the couch. I swatted her one, sent her to her room, cooincidentally the Boy and Lulu went to thier rooms to play and shortly thereafter I hear a scream from Lulu & the Boy had hit her for some ridiculous reason I cannot recall, Mommy Memory loss. All I do know is, I will not allow them to hit eachother! I 'pank, and I will never stop. If they are risking their safety, or just being plain mean, and nasty, disobeying me, they get a good 'pank. And, he knew it was coming, he took it like a Man, which kinda made me a little more angry, seeing him hide the tears. I mean, I wonder if he felt it?
Then, my slow cooked chili dinner, nice hot fresh from the oven cornbread...was turned away by all 4 kids. I thought it tasted great, a wonderful winters eve meal. But, all they ate was the cornbread. Bleh on them! The Boy did mention that it would've been a great meal for his friend that plays football because it had a lot of protein the beans and meat! That's my Handsome!
The evening ended better with swim lessons for small ones, and a quick trip to ColdStone for a free sample treat as a reward for trying thier hardest. Lulu has dramatically improved in the water with only the promise of icecream ;)

Monsters in my Heater Vent

2010-11-16T09:48:00.000-08:00

The Boy has recently become terribly frightened by any noise that he hears in his room @ bedtime. He has a night light, but he still insists the bathroom light be left on too. I refuse to do this.
About 10 minutes after I put him to bed, he is back up running down the hall to my bedroom begging to stay up or sleep with Mom & Dad. I have taken the vent off the heater to show him that nothing is there. I have explained that when the heater kicks on it will create a noise, but he still insists that there is a monster in there trying to get out & get him!
So, the last two nights, we put him to bed around 8:30, and by 10:30pm we have checked on him only to find that he somehow escaped to his sisters room & is already fast asleep. The first night he was even crafty enough to strategically place the pillows just right to make it appear as if he were still in his own bed. Smart little guy!
I just don't know what to do. He has no reason to be scared. It's all in his imagination. I have never had any of the girls continue to be scared past the age of 4 or 5. Lulu goes to bed so easily. This Boy is making me crazy @ bedtime!

Sweet 16 in Seattle?

2010-11-14T21:38:00.000-08:00

My Big Girl is turning 16 next June & I am planning a road trip for her & I to Seattle. I have always wanted to go there, and rather than spend hundreds on a ridiculous sweet 16 party, I thought it would be great to get her out of town and to a place she might not see otherwise at the age of 16.
I have some ideas of what we may do, and see, but I am really not sure what all there is to see & do.
I found this great site... Thing to See and Do in Seattle . It has many great places to go with prices and description, as well as a link to the site for the attraction. My main concern is finding a decently priced hotel though. I want to give her a memorable experience. I am planning on it only being her & I, possibly another friend or two, Grandma maybe. Not sure. But, I want to be able to have fun & be spontaneous with my Big Girl! She is growing up so fast!
Almost Sweet Sixteen...I can't believe it!

The New Preteen Drama Queen

2010-11-11T00:39:00.000-08:00

Drew is 10. She is an amazing girl. I love her very much. She is a tomboy. She is an incredible soccer player. She is very intelligent. She is a successful student & loved by her teachers, always. Never gets in trouble at school, which is a huge difference from my last Preteen Drama Queen. However, she is 10. She is nearing the teen years rapidly. I now give her the title of Preteen Drama Queen, because she has earned it recently.
Hormones are at thier peak. I am very sure that she will be meeting "Auntie Flow" very soon. I am also very sure that she will be the twin to Kara, from Dan in Real Life when it comes to expressing herself in these preteen/teen years to come. I think I am gonna have my hands full.
She has always been pretty intense. At the age of 2, she threw 'exorcist'-like tantrums over taking a nap. At the age of 4, she balled her head off when we told her she was getting another baby brother/sister. At the age of 5, she would cry a river over my putting pretty ponytails in her hair, missing the bus over pleading for me to take them out. She lacks the ability to calm herself down.
I blame D. I blame D because...when Drew was a baby, D worked all dayshifts. I had to sleep on the couch with her, always holding her, to keep her quiet so he could sleep. I was never able to let her cry it out, for fear of waking D. He is a BEAR. I think this directly relates to her personality/behaviour. She never learned to calm herself, I always ran to pick her up quickly and calm her. I really hate myself for that.
Drew is a great kid, though. She doesn't really get into trouble. She is busy with soccer, friends, and she loves to make things. I just don't usually have to get on to her. Until the past few weeks. She was grounded for a week recently.
All of my kids are very rarely in trouble at this point. It's been very comforting to know that they get it, they are all old enough to know better. It's nice not having a troublesome toddler running around anymore. But, honestly, a preteen drama queen is so much more stressfull for me than a toddler.
I just can't stand the pleading, dramatic fits, and crying over not getting to play with a friend after just spending a couple hours with another friend. The constant need to be with a friend, or doing/going. The constant bickering with her little brother. The yelling at her little sister for coming in her room. The tears roll instant, the fits are like a 2 yo. It just makes me wanna cringe & hide, but I have to stand up firm & unwavering. I have to be strong. Be consistent. Be a mind reader. Be one step ahead.
It really doesn't get easier as they get older. It gets much harder. I would have to say 10 is the worst for a girl. It's an inbetween, an awkward stage. The verge of puberty, middle school. The desire for increased independence from Mom & Dad. The NEED to be with a friend every minute of every day. The demands to do only what they want to do, with no regard for anyone else. It's a very self-centered state that she is in right now, and it's so hard to deal with on a daily basis. I want to lock her up and throw away the key for atleast 2 years.

Why can't she BE like she LOOKS in this picture I found. Calm, collected...

Lord, Help Me. I fear I may harm this girl in her preteen years.

Lost & Found

2010-11-09T09:58:00.001-08:00

I have to share this. It's not everyday you recover and long lost or stolen item. Especially in todays world. Especially an electronic item. Especially an Ipod stolen @ school.
My Big Girl had a horrible run with ipods the past 2 years. In 2008 she asked for a yellow ipod for christmas. It was a big deal for her. I gave in and 'Santa' granted her wish. She loved it! But, it kept breaking, and freezing. So, she had it replaced with a new one under the 1 year warrantee, paying $40 shipping. When she got that one, she might have had it for a couple weeks before it was engulfed in hairspray that had leaked out in her purse, frying the new Ipod. 2 Ipods=History...
At this point, I forced her to earn the money herself if she ever wanted another. About that time, the newest 5th generation with video Ipod was released. So, ofcourse, being a teen, she wanted video on her new Ipod! She babysat, and saved the money to buy it. She special ordered it in metallic yellow, with the engraving on the back of:
'Take a look at yourself
and make a change"
...and after having recieved it, she programmed in the lock code 1958...Michael Jackson's birth year. She's an MJ freak. However, these clues were magical!
I was browsing craigslist for used Ipods,(Drew wants one for xmas, but she's not too responsible, so we figured used was a better option for her)when I found a listing for an 8gb gold Ipod nano, simple title. I took a look.

Gosh.Golly.Gee. It sure looked a lot like my Girls Ipod. I ran thru the description match, and decided I would email and ask the boy selling this Ipod, what does the engraving say? He never responded by morning, so with pressure from D & My Dad, I called the police station to see if I could even get them to help me out. It's been months since her Ipod was stolen.
They took my report seriously, took my detailed description of the engraving, lock code, the boy's name, cell #, etc...and went to the school, confiscated the Ipod from him with the Boy admitting only that he FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR IN THE HALL. Stating it MUST have fallen out of my Big Girl's Purse. However, he is still being charged with theft of personal property. That'll teach him. Don't mess with me & mine!

Orange Rocks!

2010-11-08T10:34:00.000-08:00

I am entering this picture for the I Heart Faces contest-Orange theme this week, because I just love the look on her face, the power in her kick, and the motion of the orange ball flying away! Her Team was undeafeated this fall season.

2nd opinion

2010-11-08T09:22:00.000-08:00

Lulu has had 2 vision screening tests this fall. Once with her vaccination appt. @ the doctors office, and once @ school. Both have shown that she has 20/30 vision on the left, and 20/40 vision on the right. I am not sure what to think abt this, but the Dr. suggested I have her looked at by an Opthamologist with the first test results. I chose to hold off to see what the school vision screening would show.
I have web searched to find any further information, or suggestions. I suppose also looking for something that tells me that these numbers don't matter. But, I keep finding information that leads to having Lulu see the eye doc.
This makes me sad. I don't want my Sweet Little Lulu to have to wear glasses!
She reads all the time, has never had any trouble in school, or with her eyes. She never complains of her eye bugging her, or a headache. She is very successful with her school work, and reading. I am confused.
It's my responsibility to make sure she is cared for properly, medically. But, I am so hesitant to take her to the Opthamologist. I don't want to jump the gun, maybe waiting for 1st grades eye screen would be better? Hmmm...

That's MY Rule & I'm stickin' to it!

2010-11-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

Drew is grounded. She received this judgement tuesday evening after a short bout of defiance. That's not the only thing that earned her a week of house arrest. It was also a few other things leading up to that night over 2 weeks time.
Strike 1: I found an apple in the bathroom garbage. A whole, new, shiny, red apple. An apple I had just bought 2 days before @ a rate of 1.79/dozen. I mean, this apple was GIGANTIC. I had place it in her lunch box the prior day. So, when she got home from school I asked her about it. She said it was too big, and she couldn't finish it, so she threw it away. I had to giggle. Why? Well, cuz it was a lie. The apple had no sign of being bitten, no bruises, no punctured skin. I inspected this apple thorougly, you see, to try to understand it's purpose for being in the garbage at all. So, we revisited my rule about NOT throwing away food that you can't finish, it must be brought home and replaced to the fridge, or saved for the next days lunch.
Strike 2: D had given her $10 to take to a post Soccer Pizza Party. She paid for some pizza, games, drink...she was supposed to return the change to D. He asked her for it, she said it was in her jeans, a total of $2, and would get it out the following day. D worked, so after school, I asked her abt the $. She denied having change. I reminded her that she had told her Dad that there was indeed $2 change, so WHERE DID IT GO? She ho-hummed around for a bit, before she finally admitted that she used it to buy drinks at school. But, that doesn't make sense cuz I send cold lunch and always pack a drink. So, after further probing, she finally admitted that she actually paid a charge for drinks she purchased cuz she didn't like the drinks I send. Hmmmm, this was reminding me of the apple. She was throwing away drinks to get a different one at school.
Strike 3,4...5: Incessant, persistent, aggressive behaviour toward her Brother & I. Raging hormones in a pre-teen body, presenting themselves in a demon-like state.

So, the last straw was blatant defiance toward me, in front of her Grandparents.
I grounded her for a week, you see, simply to ensure it included a weekend. A weekend that included a very much awaited Birthday Party Sleepover she had been invited to. An event that she screamed thru dramatic sobs & streaming tears was 'SUPPOSED TO BE THE BESTEST PARTY EVER!' So, you see, I knew THIS was the time to stick to my word. Her tantrum lasted a few hours. It was pitiful. Disgusting. But, necessary to endure. Necessary to follow thru & not give in to the noise & distrubance for MY sanity sake.
Yesterday was the party. I arrived home from grocery shopping to a re-newed dramatization of her NEED to go to this party. I held strong. Maintained the punishment. She sobbed for about an hour, pleading that if I let her go, she would be good forever. Statements like this make me smile & giggle under my breath, so pathetic. I wasn't giving in. NO. See, if I gave in at this point, then next time, it will be even worse & she will not have learned a thing! This is my job. To make her miserable. I simply told her, "I didn't get what I want (respect, obedience, truth)...so, you don't get what YOU want (a fabulous sleepover party, friends, cake...)"
Today, she is much more obedient. It definitely tested me, but it has taught her.

Sugar Snaps

2010-11-03T16:04:00.001-07:00

Give me a little SUN, one Little Lulu, and a few balloons...

Rainbows & Balloons

2010-11-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

Today is such an amazingly beautiful day! I love it. The sun shining ever so brightly thru all the windows, reminding me that I haven't dusted in awhile...
The reflections of this big, beautiful sunshine randomly placed tiny rainbows on my walls and kitchen flooring. Little Lulu noticed right away and ran around counting them. Ofcourse, my scientific little Man had to ask why they were there, and so we had a quick lesson in prisms/reflection of light before running of to school this morning.
You just never know what a day may bring.;)
These blue skies are filling my mind with happy thoughts, and big ideas. A few of those ideas include: a huge, colorful balloon bouquet, a camera, and a huge field of green. A park. A picnic...the ocean & sand.
I just feel like smiling today. With pink lipstick on.

Decisions

2010-11-02T22:08:00.000-07:00

Now the Mother of all school age children, I find that things are busier than ever. I remember thinking, "Once they all get into school, it won't be so crazy, it will calm down." But, rather, the complete opposite.
Life has become so hectic, confusing. I have my own desires to do things now, and am struggling with the decision of either following thru with it, or stacking it on that shelf, like many other things I have in the past, to keep my focus on the children, keep up, on top of, be aware, alert...for them, about them, concerning them.
I love being a Mother. But, I need to explore other parts of Me that I have submerged for the past 15 years. Emotions, needs, desires, interests. Do I try to explore? Or submit.
I wanted to try out for Roller Derby after seeing an amazing Derby Bout just before Halloween. I loved it! I love to Roller Skate. So, I went to the new skater day. I did my best to learn a few tricks, but during a relay at the end, lost my balance, and fell directly on my rear end on concrete flooring. I was so humiliated. A feeling I despise. A feeling I don't feel. Ever. Confidence lost. Fear intruded. I just got out of therapy last spring...wth am I thinking? was all I could tell myself over and over and over in my head. It was a real mind f*ck. Do I continue, cuz I really, really want to, or stop, be 'safe'. Don't take the risk, for the risk is not mine to take? I'm so confused.

Apple Cupcakes

2010-09-14T14:03:00.001-07:00

This was the most fun cupcake I have ever made!

The Great Outdoors

2010-07-22T01:04:00.001-07:00

Our Annual trip to Central Oregon. What an adventure it is now that the small ones have grown into such BIG little kids. It truly is a necessary thing to camp with your kids no matter how busy you might find yourself to be. It is so important for them to see & appreciate nature, the sheer beauty of the trees and lakes. I absolutely LOVE it!
D had worked the Boy up for this trip, he was so wound up & ready to go once we got there to fish, hunt, kill ANYTHING. He had D going from sun up til sun down with demands of fishing every water way, hunting coyote, and killing a porcupine. He insisted on wearing Camoflauge, so he used his army costume I made for halloween, a camo tee D got @ walmart, a hat he found @ BiMart with a badger target on the front & fake blood splatter on the back. He used his school backpack, which was camo, that I had just gotten at the outlets. He was ready to HUNT WITH DAD. That is, until one night when D brought out the predator call at dark during marshmallow roasting & sounded it, sparking a response from a coyote which spooked the Boy and had him rapidly withdrawing his bravery front. He got so upset, repeating "I'm not ready! Dad..stop! I'm not ready!" He didn't sleep too well that night. But, when it came to fishing...that Boy did nothing but speak, eat & DREAM fishing.
On day 2, D took him out to place a digital tree camera in the woods. He wanted to catch some deer or other critters in the cam. Ended up, after 2 nights of leaving the cam up, they retrieved it only to find of 12 pics taken, 10 are of D's face setting it up or taking it down, with 2 that were blank, maybe a chipmunk in the brush.
Boy tried his hand at making a spear by trying very hard to whittle the end of a long stick he found with his little pocket knife. He worked at it awhile, didn't get far, but was satisfied enough to practice throwing his 'spear' at a target D placed on a tree for him.
Day 4 Boy finally caught a fish at Twin Lakes. D actually hooked it, but let the Boy reel it in. He was so proud. When they arrived back at camp, he came marching over with 2 fish on the string saying..."I wonder what's for dinner tonight!?" He showed everyone, even the dog. My Mom cooked the fish up for him and, ofcourse, we ALL had to taste his fish & comment on how delicious it was. And, soooo delicious, it was! MY BOY caught it!
Day 5, he caught another, and he was so proud. The look on a Boy's face when he has a freshly caught fish in his hand...priceless. Pure pride. Absolutely heartfelt.
When he was fishing off the bank once, a teen boy was getting out of the water & the Boy asked "Catch anthing?" The teen boy said, "Nope, but I had a few bites." Next thing I knew this boy was rigging up my sons line for him with the same thing he had on his, he said "I just want to help him get a few bites." It was so incredible seeing someone do that for my Boy. He was so happy.
D also took the boy out with his hunting blind on day 5 to wait for some coyotes. No luck. No porcupines to bat to death, no badgers. But, he did work with Boy on shooting his BB gun at an empty milk jug. To which I must brag...MY BOY is an amazing aim & straight shot. Yeah, I got me a little outdoors man. Master Caster when it comes to fishing too. I'm not bragging...just telling the absolute truth. Really.
On the last day, I took him to fish off the bank. My Dad had rigged up a spinner on his line. No bait. 'Fish Juice', so he told me Papa put on his hook. As we approached the bank, an elderly Man was bringing his boat in, and had a big Brown & Rainbow trout in his boat. He proceeded to tell Beau that he lost an even bigger one out in the water, far from where we were fishing. Boy was rather upset, but the Man assured him he had the right gear. He liked that, fished awhile before another Man fly fishing from his boat, immediately caught a fish. This had the boy a little more disgruntled. Quite the competitive little guy. He then attempted to 'fly' fish with his little rod, I had to giggle & tell him his couldn't do that with his rod, to which he replied, "Why not?" A short but later a big eagle swooped down near up and grabbed a fish right out of the water, his face pinched up and he lost his cool "EVERYBODY IS GETTIN' A FISH BUT ME!" and nearly started to cry. But, Big Boy's don't cry. It made me giggle some more. What goes through their little minds? I had to put a stop to his casting at one point or he would never stop, he did not like this and said, "I am just gonna tell Dad that you need more sleep!"
When it was time to leave, the day we had to return home, He just could not comprehend WHY we needed to go home. He started to cry. Almost made me cry. He said, " I just want to stay here forever!"
Boy. I get you. I get it. I love that you love nature. I love that you have so much passion for the outdoors. I love that you caught some fish, and shared with everyone. I love that you bonded with Daddy and Grandpa on a whole new level. I LOVE YOU, BOY!

Distracted...

2009-12-19T01:49:00.003-08:00

Since finding Facebook, I have lost my blogging desires! :( I hope to get back to this soon! I will work on it!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

Proud Momma!

2009-04-25T16:55:00.000-07:00

My Teen Drama Queen had a field trip this week to what as called a Teen Maze. My understanding is that the children are guided through a maze of different questions, real life situations, and given the the opportunity to make the 'right' decisions. Depending on the decisions made, some children returned with STD's, GED's vs. Diploma's, or a baby/pregnancy. My dtr returned with a Lei, meaning she made all the RIGHT decisions. I am so pround of her! I feel a little more trusting, and confident that I have taught her well in many ways, and hope that this is a huge example of what she really truly knows to be the right path.
I want nothing more than for my children to finish high school, and graduate without any distractions that might cause them to delay thier plans or dreams. I am feeling quite proud, and justified right now in the decisions I have made, such as not allowing a cell phone, or unsupervised computer/phone use, being sure to meet the parents of other children she wants to spend time with, and being sure to discourage certain relationships at times.
So, right now, I wanna say, 'Ba Ha Ha!' to those parents that have chastised me at times, saying I need to 'relax', give in a little. I think I'm doing just fine, THANKYOU!

Roadside Pic

2009-04-22T23:43:00.000-07:00

I drive past this beautiful field everyday. I always wish I had my camera, and today I did. The kids thought I was crazy, and were convinced that I would get arrested for taking this picture, lol. I believe it is a mustard field, and I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing this looks in person, my camera could not even capture the entire field, but I love the contrast of the sky and clouds in this. You can still see how far this field goes. It's just breathtaking, and I wanted to send my kids out stomping through it to get a pic of them in the midst, however, I did not. I think the farmer might frown upon me doing that.

Untitled

2009-04-20T12:33:00.001-07:00

If there is one thing that I am realizing as a Mother, Parent...it is that there is no extended family as I once thought there was. You have to rely on yourself, and do the best you can to make your children the priority so that you don't have to rely on anyone else to be there, just in case.
We are all so busy with our lives, and our own problems that we don't spend much time involved with others, and don't take the time to spend with family members as we perhaps should.
I can barely keep up with my home anymore, and I know that that is the least thing to be concerned about when children are involved, they need your attention. But, I feel like I am living in chaos at times.
I feel like once I think I might be catching up with one thing, something fall through, and I fall right back to the starting point again. It never fails. I can't handle it all, although I definitely try my damnest.
I don't know where I'm going with this, or what I might be getting at, but I am just frustrated, and sometimes, I just don't understand things. And, I guess it's not my place to understand, but to tolerate at times. However, sometimes, I get so frustrated that I have to drive my point as hard as I can to be sure that I am understood whether or not I understand, myself.
I'm sure this is making complete and utter nonsense, but it makes sense to me.
I'm just going to do the best to do what I have to do, and move on. I can't waste my precious time, and PRECIOUS, indeed it is...with trivial things.
But, I hope that sometime soon, it will be seen that some things are PRESENTLY much more important, and it is time to see that, time to move on just a little so that the joy can be seen.
There are people in my past that I miss, memories that NEVER fade, they are there, locked in a special spot for special times. If I didn't compartmentalize my mind, I could not function, and I certainly could not give of myself to be a Mother, Wife, Nurse. I guess we all just have to find a way to do that on our own.
Time, it passes quickly, little ones grow so fast, it would be shame to miss those moments that matter most.

Looooong Weekend, but BEAUTIFUL!

2009-04-20T08:44:00.001-07:00

Kids had a 4 day weekend, which at times, I dread...to be honest.
But, the weather was amazing for all but one of those days, and it was enjoyable.
Me and D got some yard work done, worked outside all day thursday, got a large portion of weeding done, D burned the yard debris, and mowed. Kids played around us, and helped me weed.
Lulu ran around in her Lilo costume and froggy boots, it was hilarious, made me think of the book, "LADYBUG GIRL", the little girl is named Lulu, and plays in her ladybug costume and ladybug boots, it's so funny!
Anyway, I took some time out to snap some pics, and check on my flowers, see what lived and what died. The other day I had refilled the hummingbird feeder since it seemed they were coming around it, but it was empty. Lulu was standing right next to the flower bed where the hummingbird feeder hangs, and she suddenly began screaming, and running for her life! My eye glued into the camera, I didnt' see why. And, turns out, as the Boy came around the corner and noticed, it was just a hummingbird feeding, but somehow she didn't realize that's what it was, rather than a bee. Crazy girl!

Saturday was soccer day, Drew's team finally won, but I missed it, since D was off, he wanted to watch, and so he took her. Her game was 9am, and the small ones have had a cough, so I kept them home. And, I worked in the afternoon, wasting away a beautiful day...

But, on Sunday, even though D was working, I packed the van up and jetted over to the beach with the kids! Forecast was 63 and clear, my neighbor was so kind as to comment on my choice of activities stating, "63??? That's nothing! You better pack some pants and sweatshirts along!" Yeah, like I don't know to pack extra, plan ahead after 4 kids! I laughed back, and said, "63 is FINE with me!" And, as it turned out, entering the bayfront, temp was at 70, as I parked near the beach, it dropped to 64, but was clear, not a cloud in sight, warm, slight wind, AMAZING! I was so thrilled, I screamed, so pumped, and ready to run out there! We spent a few hours on the beach, exploring, playing in the sand.

The boy found a dead starfish, which he had wanted to find, and asked me all the way to the beach, "If I find a starfish, can I keep it?" Well, my answer was no, since he planned on taking any live starfish home for a pet, but as they were filling thier sand buckets with water from the outgoing tide, I spied a lone starfish up on the dry sand. I hollered at the Boy, and we looked it over, it was upside down, and dried out, so I figured, that one, he can keep, right? Even so, he kept trying to place in the water, and make it come back to life, but it was stiff, and not moving at all. Pure Luck I guess. Crazy, really, that boy is so in love with all things related to water. I just wonder what he will be when he grows up.

Like usual, we went to a little crafters mall, that has a big treasure chest full of 'pirate' treasures that kids can grab a handful of, and the boy grabbed many pirate coins, a few skull rings, and a gold bead neclace, Lulu grabbed 5 'diamond' rings, and some coins, while Drew grabbed small 'crystal' rocks. The Boy wore that neclace, and skull rings the rest of the day, proclaiming..."I'm gonna be a pirate when I grow up! I'm gonna be the captain." I said, "Oh, you mean your gonna drive the ship?" He said, "NO, the cabin boy drives the ship, and the captain sits in the cabin looking at his treasure!" Ofcourse, he makes his own rules about how things really are.

It was such a nice day, I hated to pack up and leave, but daily life pulls me back to the weekly drone of chores. Ugghh!

Redneck Lawn Chair

2009-04-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

Just when I think there's nothing left to surprise me with, the boy decided to make his own lawn chair last weekend. He took a sand bucket, flipped it over, an intertube, and beach ball, then ran inside and grabbed his ear things, not sure what to call them, ( D got them for the monster truck show), and then his El Toro Loco hat to cover his face like Daddy does in the summertime. You gotta laugh at the imagination that boy has!

Happy Birthday Lulu!

2009-03-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

Today my sweet Lulu is 4 years old! I picked up some ColdStone Creamery sweet treats cupcakes on the way home for a mini party. (The party is actually next weekend at a Carousel!) She is so excited!
As I was putting the candles on her cupcake I told her, "I changed my mind, I want you to stay 3. You can't turn 4 now." She did not at all like this...she responded, "NO! I have to be 4 cuz my 3 has melted, it melted down down down and now it's gone!" All with hands in the air, and a look of absolute desperation in her face. That Lulu...she's the last one, and here I am watching her toddler years melt away. I love you Sweet Lulu!!!

It just slipped out...

2009-03-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

As I was making my bed this morning, the tot's playing, I heard Lulu holler, "HOLY CRAP!"
I was quiet for a minute, then I hollered to her as I heard the Boy whispering, "Uh oh, I think Mom heard you!"
Then, that Boy, quick covered up for her, saying, "It's okay, Mom, she really meant to say Holy Cosmos!"
Yeah, right!

Also, saw this on a license plate today, made me think...
BGR8FL
Get it?
And, If you really wanna laugh with your preteen (which is very hard to do, believe me!), check out these two books...
C D B?
C D C?
Drew and I just cracked up, and I even had a hard time figuring some of it out!

"Look Mom! I got dressed all by myself!"

2009-03-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

What's YOUR favorite donut?

2009-03-16T15:41:00.000-07:00

Our Library recently gained a newly renovated building to use, and it is amazing! We visited last week, the tots LOVED it! And, I mean, really REALLY LOVED IT! So, did I! I went ahead and paid the $10 for the annual fee (I'm outta city limits, folks!) just to check out childrens books. It's SO worth it! Our story time guy is the best around too!

I checked out a ton of books, and one newer one that just caught my eye, hosting a much loved subject of my tots...DONUTS!

It's called 'The Donut Chef', and if you haven't checked it out or bought a copy, you must! It's the perfect childrens picture book! Great rhyming, and bright colorful pictures. I LOVE READING IT! They begged for 2, 3, 4 times in one sitting!
Another must read by the same author is...
'The Red Lemon'.
I am so going to miss the preschool years once they're gone...what excuse will I have to read books like this anymore?

My Boy

2009-03-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

At nearly 2, while on a walk, The Boy dropped on all fours to examine a snake in the road. Dead as it was, he had his tiny little face right down there, inspecting. HE IS THE BOY! No question about it.
The Boy loves to fish. He loves to shoot his toy guns, pretending to hunt like Daddy. D spends time with him teaching him about fishing and hunting, and takes him out on adventures as weather allows. However...for this Boy, it's just not enough!
With the recent sunny days we've had the kids have been outside playing a lot. Supposed to be in the back yard, but somehow The Boy ends up playing in the ditch by the road out front. This time of year it has quite a bit of water flowing down through it, and the weeds/moss are starting to grow.
He's been building a dam in his lake he tells me, so 'the fish' can't get away. Also, Lulu tells me there is 'seaweed' growin' too, and that Lulu, well, EVERYTHING she says is relayed with such extreme enthusiasm, so you can just imagine the excitement in her voice while telling me this.
This morning Boy got out early, "to make a bobber" for his fishin' pole so he can catch the fish in 'the lake'. The Lake a.k.a. The Ditch.
Now D is freakin' out all over me for 'letting' them play in the ditch....
UMMM...I repeatedly tell them to get in the back yard, AWAY FROM THE DITCH! I am not an idiot.
I'm sure it's not all sanitary (good thing that boy also obsessively washes his hands!) , but I know my husband played in that same ditch when he was a boy, and honestly...let's ALL just be glad The Boy is not running around the house in his many sisters dresses vs. playing in the ditch water, pretending to fish...I definitely got me a boy through & through!
Thankyou Lord!!!

"I'm big cuz I'm 4!"

2009-03-07T13:11:00.001-08:00

Little Lulu is turning 4 this month. I just can't believe how time has flown by!

She is at such an adorable age, and still being "the baby", she is ever so sweet to me! I hate that she is growing up at times, although I know that's the way it goes.

She has found she can climb very high on "the spider thing" at the park, loves playdough with a passion (Mommy hates the mess!), and has been showing everyone how good she can twirl, she calls it her 'super duper bestest ballerina twirl'.

I just love this little girl!

The LONG & SHORT of it...

2009-03-05T22:27:00.000-08:00

This is me, on a good hair day anyway...
I have had my hair cut shorter, sorta a-line for about 8 months now. I have really gotten used to the quick dry, easy management of it but I have begun to long for my locks!
I can't stand the inbetween hell of growing it out, I love not having to put a clip, pony holder or barrette in it EVER. Straightening it is so much easier while short...But, then there is also the fact that with the rain, and cold nasty weather come a ton of frizz. It's just in my genes. Thanks Mom!
I use Fekkai glossing gel from Bath & Body Works daily, and straightening gel to help some, also Frizz Ease Straightening shampoo & conditioner...but, it's starting to get all outta control lately. Maybe I need a day or two off of the dryer/straightener, some deep conditioning treatment...whatever the case, it's so NOT lookin' like this pic lately, I'm SOOOO hatin' it! I JUST WANT MY LONG HAIR BACK!

Bubble Boy

2009-03-04T23:52:00.000-08:00

The Boy in tub, and I'm pouring Mr. Bubbles bubble bath in, creating a gazillion bubbles...Boy toots, BIG, and simply states while giggling uncontrollably..."That makes bubbles too!"

Motherhood...who ever said it would be easy?

2009-03-01T11:56:00.001-08:00

I am blogging out of PURE frustration this very day! I have had it to the absolute end with a certain Mother I have had to deal with for years.
I have tried to be the 'bigger' person, lay low, be passive if you will. I have tried to be friendly, become aquaintences, play the middle field.
But, it has come to a point that I simply just do not care anymore to be the kind, passive person in this ongoing feud.
God help me, I am simply going to state my mind in any situation that arises.
No more will I ignore.
My dtr is at a terribly impressive age, and I will not allow another child with ill ways to distract her any further.
Another child that finds it okay to be repeatedly voicing sexually suggestive comments to strangers, teachers, etc. A Mother that texts her dtr horrible, hateful things. A little sister from the same family that says to my dtr,"You are an F*ing B*tch" when she walks in the door to thier home.
There are NO limits in this family, no boundaries, and certainly NOT enough of the right kind of discipline.
How can a full time stay at home Mother have, 3 such incredibly disobedient children? This, I just cannot understand.
I HAVE HAD IT!
I work part time, 2-3, sometimes 4d/wk now. I love my job, and I won't give it up. At the same time, I am very much involved with my children. I love them, and want nothing more than to have them succeed.
I am so sick of everything that occurs with my dtr and hers, being pushed on my dtr. When, and I swear this to be true...her dtr is the initiator of all things that end up happening with them.
Yet, this Mom is in pure denial, always has a different version of the story when, I recieve the call from the principal with full description, somehow the story changes by time she gets the information. She even tries to go so far as to tell me when I shouldn't be displining my dtr. As if she can influence this.
I just can't stand her or her ways, and I am done!
Move on, crazy lady!

"Only as genuine Christian holiness and Christlike love are expressed in the life of a parent can the child have the opportunity to inherit the flame and not the ashes."
Stephen G. Green, as quoted in the mini book "On Raising Children"

I'm still here...

2009-01-29T16:48:00.000-08:00

Life is busy 'round here!
So much for keeping the family healthy...we've pretty much all got a real whopper of a cold passing through, only mine seems to stickin' around, and I'm near ready to visit the MD for some ABO's. Trying to put it off as long as I can, silly me, I should know better, being a nurse and all, but then again...I also know my body well enough to know when I've had enough, and apparently, I haven't got there yet.

Preschool Co-oping is keeping me very, very busy. Beau just turned 5, Our 9th Anniversary was yesterday, and I just turned 32. It's a busy month!

For Christmas D got me a Sookie Stackhouse book, the book/series that my newest favorite show True Blood is based upon. I LOVE IT! So much that in the past month I have read through the following 6 books, and am now working on the 8th. Eagerly anticipating the 9th in May, and hopefully by Christmas the 10th!
Something had to bring me back from my Twilight withdrawals, and that is exactly what they were. I was so bummed when that saga was over!
So, to all those Twilight obsessed Mom's out there (come on, raise your hand, I know your out there!), there's more to obsess about, and it's True Blood...on T.V. (HBO), and a huge books series by Charlaine Harris. Much more adult directed, Viking Vampire Eric nearly takes Edward Cullens space in my book!

Well, off to cook dinner...
The Camera has taken a back seat lately, too busy to shoot! Here's a couple of my fave pics for the week...

The boy, lettin' ya'll know he's 5!

Little Lulu...contemplative & beautiful!

Happy 2009....I hope!

2009-01-03T23:54:00.000-08:00

I'm still here...somewhere...in the mess of all this holiday fuss. Grumpy, and overwhelmed.

After 2 weeks with kids all home, I am so ready for them to return to classes!
What a busy December we had, with the scabies, flu bugs, computer virus issues, winter storms, and Christmas.
In all gifts given to the children, only one came up defective, a dollhouse for Leah, and it's replacement should soon be on our doorstep, hopefully this coming week, it was quite a nightmare trying to even find another. So it goes! I don't think she even realizes what she got, honestly, so it will be like christmas all over again when I get it put together finally.
D did a great job this year in choosing MY gifts. He took my hints well and I received Photoshop Elements 7, as well as an external hard drive, for my pics. He stuffed my stocking with a $20 Human Bean gift card (I love thier Mexi Granitas!) 2 paperback novels...WHICH HE CHOSE HIMSELF...one of them being the 1st in a set of the Sookie Stackhouse/TrueBlood series of books by Charlaine Harris...to which I am now completely addicted! Bye Bye Edward Cullen... Hellooo Bill Compton!
I got D the 1st 3 seasons of Deadwood, he is SO into western shows, and newly disovered this series on HBO the past fall. He is now in Deadwood Heaven.
Grace received her much desired IPOD NANO, yellow. Drew ended up with a LeapFrog Crammer, and loves it! A sub for her requested MP3, thinking she is just NOT ready, way too good at losing things. D got Beau a fishing game for the Wii, and the boy loves it!
I got so caught up in video recording our christmas this year with my new Sony Handicam, I completely forgot to take pics, so this year, I have no christmas gift opening-surprise pics, which really irritated me since I have the Rebel this year, but what can I do now?

Grace now has braces, a whopping $5K to make create her perfect smile...I sure hope this is the only child that needs it! When they first went on December 4th, she said, "Mom, now I look so ugly!" I said, with humor, "What do you think my goal was?" lol. Do braces even really ward off the boys? Here's to wishful thinking...

D and I are getting along the best we have in forever, and I am so greatful for that. When you are with someone for so long, 13 years to be exact, you tend to get way too relaxed in how you treat, or react to the other. Simple things, like the kiss goodbye, disappear d/t the chaos that is a family. I pass out at night from pure exhaustion, often before we even kiss goodnight, and we virtually never even hug eachother, and we certainly don't hold hands. Daily tasks, and the business of caring for children become the priorities, leaving NO time for you, as a couple.
This month, we are coming up on our 9th married year, and I just cannot believe it has been so long. Time really flies. I met D when I was 18, I will be 32 this month. D is 42. There are no more babies, just the rearing of the ones we already got. But, it's not getting any easier, not so much harder, but definitely tons busier!

I have NO new years resolutions, I never end up meeting my end anyway. I just hope that I can keep up with my family, enjoy them, laugh with them, surprise them, and keep them healthy in this new year.

No Title...just fury!

2008-11-28T14:21:00.000-08:00

At work, we have had an outbreak over a period of atleast a few months, ongoing, frequently treated...only being MIStreated. Horribly!
They thought it was MRSA. Only, with the appropriate treatment for MRSA, the "rash" was not going away, and new cases of "rashes" were continually popping up.
I have been ever so careful. I have washed my hands till they bled, wiped everything down with antibacterial wipes before touching, or between each patient. Alcohol swabs to clean many things before using as well.
I have been NOTHING but overly zealous in keeping clean, and preventing transferrence to others and myself.
Turns out, however, all along we have been dealing with scabies. Yep! G.D. SCABIES!
This little microscopic bug that burrows into your flesh, and lays eggs. Those eggs get fertilized by a male bug and then hatch, spreading like wildfire, and are highly contagious.
My SON now has a breakout.
I have bagged my work clothing to keep it seperate this past week, but the bug takes 4-6 weeks to show the rash since the rash is simply the allergic reaction surfacing in relation to the hatching of the eggs, and the poop the bugs create. Nice, poop under my sons skin. What a nice thought.
I am furious at this point.
My next 24 hours will be spent applying Elimite cream to every single family member, leave it on for up to 14 hours, not less than 8 hours, then bath everyone... then I must wash the entire bedding for 5 beds, not to mention wiping every surface down with cleaner, clean the tubs/showers, and spray down my furniture and carpet with disinfectant, then CAREFULLY vaccume the floors and furniture.
The word I want to scream into the extreme distance is F*CK...about 1 hundred million trillion zillion times at the top of my lungs with emphasis on the U.
Yeah.
I am mad.
I am STEAMING MAD.
After crying my eyes out to my MIL, I have now composed myself just enough to become numb to the reality of it so that I can complete all of the cleaning necessary to rid our family of this disgusting bug. And, it's all on ME ofcourse.
I was just becoming quite prideful of the fact that I, my husband, NOR any of our children has ever had lice...that's what I get for being proud...I've definitely been jerked down from my happy little cloud.

Twilight...I am obsessed!

2008-11-26T01:26:00.000-08:00

So, I am ever so willingly going to admit, that I...one 31 yo very married mother of 4, stood in line for about 3 hours on November 20th to be one of the first to see the premier of the highly anticipated movie TWILIGHT!

Honestly, I'd have had it NO other way. You see, this is a movie one absolutley, without question, must see. I have read the entire saga, and then some. I spent my nights, sitting up until 2am reading Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. I found myself scouring the Stephanie Meyer blog to see exactly what he soundtrack was, to imagine the entire effect. The pics of the movie in the making....REALLY, ALL I COULD GATHER OF EDWARD CULLEN.

What a dream come true for us sallow old Mom's. This saga made me look at my husband and wish he were Edward Cullen himself sleeping beside me night after night, and knowing it never ever would be, brought on a slight feeling of depression. LOL. D*mmit, why can't my husband sparkle too?

I took comfort in the idea that once the kids were in bed, I had so much more to look forward to in reading the Twilight Saga, dreaming of Edward Cullen...after all, he's really what it's all about ladies!

Then, one night as I turned the page, and saw the words, THE END, my breathing stopped, halted, literally for moments. I was so devastated. I have never before felt such an empty feeling over the end of a book! A BOOK!

I wanted to scream!

HOW can it be over?

Thankfully, the movie was still to be awaited, and a 2nd is in the works, I hear. I own the soundtrack, and with it, I received my very own poster of, guess who? Edward....ahhhh!!! Lucky Moi!

Though the movie did not meet MY full expectations, and parts I held dear were missed, or mixed up...I still cannot get over the vision of Edward Cullen himself. He was absolute perfection, eye candy indeed.

As they say...this sexless, wildy romantic saga is very well PORN FOR WOMEN.

Atleast, as close to it as I ever intend to get.

Now, could Stephanie Meyer just keep writing please? There has to be atleast 2 more books to complete this story...it just simply cannot stop with Breaking Dawn! NO NO NO!

All About the Boy

2008-10-16T23:05:00.000-07:00

Things just don't seem to be getting any easier as the weeks progress. I am nonstop going going going! I barely get the time to sit and really RELAX.
Only a couple more weeks of games, thank god!
Then, atleast, we can get back to normal evenings, with time to prepare decent meals, bathe the kids routinely, and spend more time helping with homework. As well as get some much needed yard work done in preparation for the winter months.
This morning was one of very few that I did not have to be somewhere. I decided to browse the T.V. channels, and came across a movie that I had not seen, and was just starting. 'DARK WATER'. It was very interesting, and for me, that means a lot, I don't waste my time on T.V., and so it really has to hold my attention to get me to sit still long enough to finish watching the whole thing. And, what do you know, the boy noticed my attention going toward something other than his precious self, I think I had even blocked his voice out somewhat when I finally heard him saying, "Mooooom, can you heeeaaar me? I'm taaaaalking in whaaaaale!"
Well, yeah, THAT caught my attention. I was like, "What? You mean, like on finding nemo, like Dory?" He smiled and laughed, I laughed. It was quite funny. Quite a bit of thought went into that one, to get my much desired attention away from the movie. That boy just cracks me up!

Much to brag about, the boy, not to neglect those girls, it's just that there is something about that boy. Even others notice it, he's so intriguing, so smart. I have to attend seminars bi-weekly now that the tots are in a preschool co-op. I went to one this past monday, and we spoke about boundaries, and discipline. I am no stranger to that, but some of the parents are, and only have the one child in preschool, and some a baby or one on the way. We started talking about sibling rivalry, and undesirable behaviours, which turned into talking about some of the traits we see in our children. Which one is more aggressive, submissive.
Well, Leah is definitely a bit more aggressive when it is her and Beau, but niether are aggressive at school. Beau wants to talk a lot, but both are very kind to others. So, I spoke of this, that Leah tends to be the aggressor when it is just her and Beau. Yet, Beau seems to more submissive with her, not all the time, but more often than not. He hates to see others get hurt, and is very sensitive to others feelings. If he wants Leah to stop something, and he yells at her, but she starts crying, then he emmediately stops, and will say sorry, and tell her it's okay.
What I'm getting at is, the teacher says, that he shows empathy. That it is unusual to see a child with empathy at his age. Most children, she says do not develop that until the age of 7 or 8, especially boys, and that it is very hard to teach a child to have empathy. It felt good to hear her say this about my one and only son.
I have always emphasized the need to be kind toward others, and that it is important to apologize. I don't force them to stand and say, "sorry", if I did, as most children, it would not be heartfelt, it would be a hollow apology, but leading a child to know when they've hurt someone and how to fix it is very important, I think. I want my son to be strong, to grow and be able to defend himself well, and not be a 'weenie', but I also want him to care, to be kind, and think of others, not just himself. Maybe it's the nurse in me, but I think I am achieving this with my son. I must be, if others are noticing this in his behaviour.
One day last week, at the indoor play park, a girl about 5 yo, was playing near Beau, she had fallen off a slide toy, and was crying, blaming Beau for pushing her down. But, I watched it all, and the girl had been on a soft mat that was suspended loosely across a plastic ladder/slide. I asked Beau what happened, and he said that he leaned on the mat, and it fell down, which should be expected, it was only a mat with the girls full weight on it. In any case, he had a very sad look on his face, I knew he did not hurt her, that it wasn't his intention to make her fall. A few minutes later, I saw him following her around, saying, "I'm sorry you got hurt, are you okay? I didn't mean to make you fall. I'm sorry." Not only was he saying this, but he was trying to look her in the eyes when he was doing so, trying to see her face, and her reaction. It was so sincere, so important to him that she accept his apology. It was SO SWEET!
I like to think I am raising a boy that will be a man with character. A man that every good girl wants to marry one day. Not some heartless, selfish, un-caring person. If I can achieve that with my son, I will consider myself a very successful, and rich woman.

EMPATHY:
Putting oneself into the psychologic frame of reference of another, so that the other person’s feeling, thinking, and acting are understood and to some extent predictable. A desirable trust-building characteristic of a helping profession. It is embodied in the sincere statement, “I understand how you feel.” Empathy is different from sympathy in that to be empathetic one understands how the person feels rather than actually experiencing those feelings, as in sympathy.

Just another Manic Monday!

2008-10-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

I had a helluvatime getting up this morning. 2 loads of laundry to deal with, 2 school lunches to make, and at 6:30am I am simply the most useless person ever!
I am not drinking coffee in the morning as I used to, EVERYDAY or more. I am really trying to make myself just drink water at home. But, no matter what, that just doesn't wake me up!
I met my friend Angela at Curves, and we had a great work out time together, I am really enjoying that tiny window of time I have without the tots. I miss them, but I get so much done. I no longer have to grocery shop with kids in tow. I can organize it all around the preschool time, and still get a quick 1/2 hour work out in 2-3x/week at curves, ( not including my eliptical time at home, on 'off' days)

I took my 75-300mm lens back today. I will NOT miss it. I am so disappointed, but I will just save now for the one I really want. The Tamron 28-300mm, or maybe the Canon 85mm, not sure yet. But one thing I do know, is that I plan to buy a Holga, which I can come across for under $20, and make my own Holga lens to fit my SLR. I came across a do-it-yourself instructional post to make your own Holga lens from an old Holga camera, to fit your SLR. I am so excited to do this! I am reading a book right now, 'The Year of Fog', and the lady in the book talks nonstop about her Holga, I had to look it up to see what it was. The photos taken with it turn out amazing, dream-like, milky, soft, just simply amazing! See a pic I found on flicker below...taken with the Holga. Still, it does not at all show the amazing range of color a Holga can capture. I can't wait to try it on my Rebel!

On another note...I took the tots to the park after school to play since the indoor park is closed, and it wasn't raining. The cutest little girl ran up to play, and started talking about how old she was, and asked Beau how old he is. He held up 4 fingers, and then she said, "Well, I'm more than than that, I not almost 4 1/2, I'm 4 5/6ths...."LOL, is that the cutest thing or what? She made me laugh. Beau now insists he must grow, much faster, so he can get 4 5/6ths like that girl!
When we got home, being so cold today, I made them hot cocoa and gave them each 2 cookies that I had made yesterday. They ate one cookie, drank 1/2 the cocoa, and then Leah proclaimed...."Mom, I done, I only ate one cookie, it's too much sugar!"

Well, I am off to clean, do some more laundry, lay tots down for a nap, and get ready for work!

A Let Down

2008-10-05T16:37:00.000-07:00

Last month, I bought the Canon EF 75-300mm f/4-5.6 III lens. I was so excited for the possiblities of use that it would afford me. I was looking foward to being able obtain amazing capture of the kids' soccer from across the field. I wanted to take pictures of the moon. The sun, hummingbirds from far off.
However, I was highly disappointed in that I simply cannot get this thing to focus properly. The photos come out terrbly blurry, or faintly so, but never crisp and clear as I had hoped for.
I am so upset, but I have come to the conclusion that I must return it. It was not even worth the 199 I paid for it, even thinking I was getting a good deal at the time.
I will just settle for my kit lens, which has done me some good many times. And, I will have to wait and watch, and debate on my next lens purchase. Defintely be more careful of what I purchase next time.

Time...

2008-10-03T00:44:00.000-07:00

is something I simply do not have anymore. Just to keep up with the basics, I function on an average of 4-5 hours of sleep. I AM MOMMY...I AM TIRED!
Beau and Leah have started preschool, and I co-op 1day/week. That leaves me 2d/wk that I can go work out as I planned.
All this before, the madness that ensues with either work, afternoon/ evening soccer/ volleyball practices, and all day saturdays spent at the soccer games.
As much as I want to get the kids back to church on sundays, it is the ONLY day I do not have to go anywhere, and I am having a hugely terrribly time getting myself to GO!
My thirties are really draining me of my energy, and drive.
In any case, here is a darling pic of the Tot's on the 2nd day, not the 1st (oops!), of preschool. They are loving it!

And, I joined them in a local Indoor Play Park for those nasty rainy days. I only have to help set it up 8 days/year, on top of co-oping at the Preschool every wednesday, working 2-3d/wk, and performing the tasks of a taxi driver daily.

In this chaotic mess, I somehow find time to make dinner 1/2 the week, but have been giving in to quick, easy, 'fast' food much more often than ever before. BAD BAD MOMMY!

As I had feared, Leah is already coming down with a cold. I hate to blame it on going to school, but there was a sniffler wednesday, I noticed! I hate the idea of my children being exposed to germs, and illness. It's inevitable, but still, I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I received my annual job performance evaluation this week, on Wednesday I signed it. Last years, was amazing, but this years...well, it's ABSOLUTELY STELLAR! I have 'proficient' in every category, and nothing but praise expressed. I am so pleased I could scream! It makes me feel so good. I do my best, and I love what I do, I could never ever fully explain just how much I LOVE my job. And, it feels so good to have someone notice your effort, and devotion.

Here is just a sample:
"Victoria is a valuable asset to our team of professionals! She ensures that the care of the residents is paramount. Her friendly, professional attitude makes her very successful in any nursing position she fills, especially the Unit Charge Nurse positions!"

Ahhhh! Music to my ears :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, I desperately need to post, finally, a review for GLOVES IN A BOTTLE.

Months ago, I received a generous sample bottle of GLOVES IN A BOTTLE hand lotion.

I have used it off and on, mostly at work. I occassionally have breakouts of eczema on my hands, especially this time of year. Dimethicone, a skin protectant, is always helpful to prevent a breakout with how much I have to wash my hands, being a Nurse. Dimethicone is just one of the ingredients in Gloves in a Bottle. Here is a list, taken from http://www.glovesinabottle.com/:

INGREDIENT (INCI NAME)
FUNCTION
CAS#
Purified Water (Aqua)
Solvent
7732-18-5
Purified water or deionized water is water that lacks ions, such as cations from sodium, calcium, iron, copper and anions such as chloride and bromide. This means it has been purified from all other ions except H3O+ and OH-. Deionized water is similar to distilled water, in that it is useful for skin care where the presence of impurities may be undesirable.

Dimethicone
Film Forming Agent
9006-65-9
Dimethicones stay on or near the surface of the skin. Not only are the molecules too big to physically enter past the upper living cells — they associate with the upper layer of drying skin — but they also cannot penetrate cell membranes due to their large size. They evaporate quickly after helping to carry oils into the top layer of epidermis. From there, they may be absorbed by the skin.Dimethicones form a barrier layer on the skin which must be renewed as the skin sloughs off. Dimethicones form a protective layer which helps prevent transdermal water loss — a very useful characteristic for many products. Silicone gums provide instant shine to hair. Dimethicones act to help seal moisture into the outer layer of skin, which helps prevent many kinds of damage.

Stearic Acid
Emulsifier
822-16-2
Stearic acid is one of the useful types of saturated fatty acids that comes from many vegetable fats and oils. It is a waxy solid. The term stearate is applied to the salts and esters of stearic acid. Stearic acid is a saturated fat that's in some plant foods like chocolate. It's very stable in storage. A relatively large percentage of stearic acid consumed is converted to oleic acid (a monounsaturated fat). Stearic acid is used to form margarines, shortenings, spreads, and as a cream base for baked products. Even though stearic acid is a saturated fat, studies have suggested that it has little effect on blood cholesterol levels, because such a high proportion is converted to oleic acid.

Glycerin Humectant
56-81-5
Glycerin is a humectant, meaning it attracts moisture to your skin. Glycerin is a neutral, sweet-tasting, colorless, thick liquid which freezes to a gummy paste and which has a high boiling point. Glycerin can be dissolved into water or alcohol, but not oils. On the other hand, many things will dissolve into glycerin easier than they do into water or alcohol. Glycerin is also highly "hygroscopic" which means that it absorbs water from the air.Example: if you left a bottle of pure glycerin exposed to air in your kitchen, it would take moisture from the air and eventually, it would become 80 per glycerin and 20 percent water.(Note: While people say this softening is the result of the glycerin attracting moisture to your skin, there is heated debate as to whether or not the glycerin has some other properties all its own which are helpful to the skin. Summed up, the current thinking is "We know glycerin softens the skin. Some people think its because it attracts moisture, but there could be other reasons.")

Cetyl Alcohol
Co-emulsifier
36653-82-4
An emollient and secondary emulsifier, cetyl alcohol is derived from naturally occurring fatty acids from coconut oil. It is a secondary emulsifier that thickens or adds body to lotions. Not to he confused with drying, ethyl alcohols.Cetyl and stearyl alcohols together create a cetearyl alcohol that forms an occlusive film to keep skin moisture from evaporating and gives skin a velvety feeling.

Isopropyl Myristate
Emollient
110-27-0
Isopropyl myristate is used as an emollient and lubricant in preshaves, aftershaves, shampoos, bath oils, antiperspirants, deodorants, and various creams and lotions. It is an emollient and lubricant that reduces the greasy feel of products by replacing other, oilier ingredients. The ester of isopropyl alcohol and myristic acid. It spreads very easily and promotes a dry feeling, which is often used to reduce a greasy feel caused by the high oil content of other ingredients.

Stearyl Alcohol
Co-emulsifier
112-92-5
Stearyl alcohol is found naturally in various mammalian tissues and is readily converted to stearic acid. Stearyl alcohol is an 18 carbon straight chain aliphatic alcohol often used as an emollient to prevent drying and chapping of skin. It is often used in creams and lotions as an emulsifier, thickener and pearlizing agent.The Expert Panel of the CIR (1985) has reviewed this ingredient and found that as of 1981 it was "used in 425 cosmetic formulations at concentrations ranging from less than 0.1 percent to 50 percent". It is still widely used today in numerous cosmetic product categories. This panel has concluded that stearyl alcohol is "safe as currently used in cosmetics".

Triethanolamine
pH adjuster
102-71-6
Triethanolamine, often abbreviated as TEA, is an organic chemical compound which is both a tertiary amine and a tri-alcohol. A tri-alcohol is a molecule with three hydroxyl groups. Like other amines, triethanolamine acts as a weak base due to the lone pair of electrons on the nitrogen atom.This ingredient is used as a pH balancer in cosmetic preparations in a variety of different products - ranging from skin lotion, eye gels, moisturizers, shampoos, shaving foams etc.

Xanthan Gum
Stabilizer
11138-66-2
Despite its rather alien-sounding name, xanthan gum is as natural as any other fermented corn sugar polysaccharide (corn syrup) you can name. The United States Department of Agriculture ran a number of experiments involving bacteria and various sugars to develop a new thickening agent similar to corn starch or guar gum. When Xanthomonas campestris was combined with corn sugar, the result was a colorless vicious liquid called xanthan gum. Xanthan gum is used in dairy products and salad dressings as a thickening agent and stabilizer. Xanthan gum prevents ice crystals from forming in ice creams, and also provides a 'fat feel' in low or no-fat dairy products.Another use for xanthan gum is the stabilization and binding of cosmetic products. One advantage of xanthan gum is that a little goes an incredibly long way. Cosmetic manufacturers add a very small amount of xanthan gum to their cream-based products in order to keep the individual ingredients from separating. Xanthan gum is also used as a substitute for wheat gluten in gluten-free breads, pastas and other flour-based food products. Those who suffer from gluten allergies should look for xanthan gum as an ingredient on the label.

Hypromellose(Hydroxypropyl Methylcellulose)
Film Former
9004-65-3
Hypromellose solutions were patented as a semisynthetic substitute for tear-film. Its molecular structure is predicated upon a base celluloid compound that is highly water soluble. Post-application, celluloid attributes of good water solubility reportedly aids in visual clarity. When applied, a hypromellose solution acts to swell and absorb water, thereby expanding the thickness of the tear-film.Hypromellose augmentation therefore results in extended lubricant time presence on the cornea, which theoretically results in decreased eye irritation, especially in dry climates, home, or work environments. On a molecular level, this polymer contains beta-linked D-glucose units that remain metabolically intact for days to weeks. On a manufacturing note, since hypromellose is a vegetarian substitute for gelatin, it is slightly more expensive to produce due to semisynthetic manufacturing processes.Aside from its widespread commercial and retail availability over the counter in a variety of products, Hypromellose 2% solution has been documented to be used during surgery to aid in corneal protection and during orbital surgery.

VP/Eicosene Copolymer
Film Former
28211-18-9,77035-98-4
VP/Eicosene Copolymer is a polymer of vinylpyrrolidone and eicosene monomers. It has reported used in the following product types: sunscreen spf 15 and above (106); mascara (24); facial moisturizer/treatment (14); anti-aging (12); lip gloss (12); other products with spf (8); brow liner (6); baby sunscreen (5); moisturizer (5); sunscreen below spf 15 (5)

Steareth-21
Emulsifier
9005-00-9
Steareth 21 (or fill in the number) the number indicates the degree of liquidity from 4 (thin) to 100 (solid). It is an emulsifier- substance that keeps two or more components of a product from separating. This mixture is called an emulsion.

Phenoxyethanol
Preservative
122-99-6
Phenoxyethanol is an organic chemical compound, a glycol ether often used in dermatological products such as skin creams. It is a colorless oily liquid. It is a bactericide (usually used in conjunction with quaternary ammonium compounds), often used in place of sodium azide in biological buffers as 2-phenoxyethanol is less toxic and non-reactive with copper and lead.It is also used as a fixative for perfumes, an insect repellent, a topical antiseptic, some dyes, inks, pharmaceuticals, and in organic synthesis. It is moderately soluble in water. It is also listed as an ingredient for many United States vaccines per the Center for Disease Control.

I have greatly appreciated the generosity of Pete Grimaldi for sending this to me for trial. I deeply apologize for my delay in posting a review.

However, as with SkinMD, I am very pleased with this product, and distributed a few of additional pockets size samples to fellow nurses at work. They also expressed much pleasure with this lotion. Outside of using my triamcinolone for extreme breakouts on my hands...I am using the Gloves in a Bottle routinely, keeping it in my purse so that it is always with me.

Order your own bottle HERE.

A little OCD are we???

2008-09-14T21:57:00.000-07:00

The boy has taken what seems to be a turn toward a little thing called obsessive compulsive disorder.
I definitely try to instill in all the my children the necessity to be clean. Handwashing is very important. Making thier beds daily, placing plates in the sink after dinner, etc. etc. etc.
In the past, and now again lately, I have also awarded them 'gems' for completion of chores, tasks, extra help. The boy really loves this idea. He has done amazingly well. Much better than the girls. Go figure!
However...
And, I know I should just simply be thanking my lucky stars for a child that is such a gem himself...
He makes his bed every morning without a word from me.
He gets dressed all by himself, and brushes his teeth, BEFORE BREAKFAST!
He gets his shoes on, and is ready to play within a 1/2 hour of rising.
AND...he washes his hands twenty million , trillion times each day! No, what I really mean, is 500 gazillion, billion, trillion....you get my drift?!
Yeah, my son is becoming absolutely obsessive about washing his hands.
So...today we went to the park. First thing, he ran to the faucet near the fountain to wash his hands, BEFORE PLAYING! I told him, ' No, stop, you are gonna get dirty anyway from playing, just wait till we are leaving.' He was not having it. So, he washed his hands. He may have played for about 3-5 minutes before I saw him running back over to wash them again. This went on for the entire 45 minutes that we were at the park.
If he were still only 2 or 3 years old, I would have put it all on the idea of his newfound independence, being able to 'play' in the water, vs. actually washing his hands. But, no, he was using soap each time that I brought from home just in case they needed to potty, knowing this park had no soap in the restroom.
I gave up. He wasn't hurting anything, so why bother stopping him, right?
On the ride home, I noticed him looking his hands over and over, flipping them over, palm, etc. Then all the sudden he blurted out, "I HATE HANDS!" I said, "Why?" He said, " I hate hands,'cuz they just keep gettin' dirty over and over and over!"
Okay, that is true, but he had just washed his hands!!! Not once, but probably 10 or more times! AT THE PARK!!!
D says, I need to get a 'handle' on this. I say, it's a phase that he will undoubtedly outgrow, and I would much rather have him at the very least compliant with cleanliness in preparation for pre-school vs. a kicking, scratching, knock-down, drag-out fighting boy when I told him to wash after potty. Right? I mean, can a child really truly be over-obsessing with handwashing to a fearful extreme at the age of 4???
I think, I'm just gonna let it ride, and not put too much energy toward it, or...in my mind, it may cause an increase in the obsession should I forbid him such a thing.
It's like night day with him and Leah...
A handwashing obsessed boy, and then little Leah who will put anything she might find on the ground or otherwise, in to her mouth, thinking everything she finds simply must be candy!

I like to call these...PURE LUCK!

2008-09-05T12:25:00.000-07:00

Took the kids to a local butterfly farm of sorts, Wings of Wonder. It was amazing. I captured these two shots, no flash allowed, on the TV setting of my Rebel. Ofcourse, I had to edit, however...just look at the amazing color of the Blue Morhpo! Just breathtaking if you ask me. Such pleasure is knowing it was you, yourself that captured the image so perfectly!

What I've been up to...

2008-09-03T15:48:00.001-07:00

Working a TON! Some nice pay to follow, hoping to save for this lens . Something to wish for anyway...
In my spare time, trying to capture the beauty of my sunflower patch! They only last so long...
Aren't they beautiful?

Also captured this at the Art & Air Fest...amazing edit with Picnik!

Oh, and Little Leah informed me today..."Mom, you know what I wanna be when I grow up? I wanna be a girl batman!"

Berries & Big Nasty Bugs!

2008-08-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

We took the kids blackberry picking last night. It was still steaming hot, but we had to get out of this house. Atleast out at the greenway, there was a breeze.
They are so crabby from the heat, and late late bedtimes due to the heat...it made for a very high stressed family outing. Leah threw a fit because Beau had the bucket, then Beau had a fit because Leah had the bucket...on and on, etc. It was becoming very clear we should have stayed at home, and simply sent them to bed for a nap.
We filled each bucket about 1/2 full, and headed back to the car. D stopped to pick a few more berries near the car, and it looked to me from behind that his tag was sticking out of his shirt. I got a bit closer, and I notice a huge preying mantis on his upper back!
Being the kind wife that I am...what did I do?
Well, ofcourse before I could tell him, I had to get close and take a picture, right?
Than, I stepped back, and very calmly stated, "Darrin, you have a preying mantis on your back."
Now, D is a big man. He is 6ft. 2. I never see him get scared of anything, well, there was one time he screamed like a girl in the shower over a spider...
He began hopping around, shaking, and going crazy over getting that thing off of his shirt!
He hollered for me to flick it off, but there is NO way I was gonna risk it getting on ME!
I refused to do so!
So, he kept shaking, turning, hopping a bit, IT WAS HYSTERICAL!
He was so mad at me for not helping him...it finally did fall off, or jump off on it's own.
Afterwards, he said they bite, and from what he's heard, it hurts pretty bad.
Hmmm...had me itching all over for awhile hoping nothing was creeping around my back, or hair.

We got home, and I made some delicious blackberry cobbler...the kids loved it, and D had 2nd's. Nothing like a blackberry cobbler on a hot summer eve.

What was he thinking???

2008-08-16T17:24:00.000-07:00

D took the boy with him to town yesterday to run some errands. He stopped at Joe's, and apparently thought it okay to buy that boy a pocket knife like Daddy, since they were 'on sale!'

I was horrified when I saw that boy come running in with a pocket knife in his hand.

My exact words...to D..."WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, HE'S ONLY 4!!?"

His words..."A boy needs a knife."

A. boy. needs. a. knife.

WHAT?

A 4yo boy NEEDS a knife?

So, here is the look of pride I caught when that boy was holding his new pocket knife.

I told him that it must be kept shut unless Daddy is helping him. He was more than eager to comply if that meant I would let him keep it. I also told him if he cut anyone, they would have to go to the hospital, and that I would take that knife from him forever.

D had it in closed position, the boy wanted to carry it around, and took it on the porch with him. Moments later her comes Drew, running..."MOM! BEAU CUT HIS FINGER WITH THE KNIFE!"

I was panicking...He had figured out how to open the blade, and cut his fingertip, small but bleeding enough to have him hysterical! I put his finger under the faucet quick, and he kept hollering..."I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE HOSPITAL!" After a bandaid, and an ice pack for comfort, I looked at D and asked, again..."WHY DID YOU GET HIM THAT KNIFE?"

D's response..."I told you. It was on sale."...

Just A LOT of Randomness

2008-08-12T21:35:00.000-07:00

As I was sitting waiting for report from the day LN yesterday, I felt the need to pray for the evening to go smoothly, for the strength I needed to perform my job to the fullest...and I tell ya, it's a good thing I did.
I was doing great, we had 3 admissions, but had help with all of them, and got all but one assessment done before 8, started charting, then realized I needed to make a phone call regarding orders that were not recieved.
As I was in the middle of talking to a Doc, I see another LN I was working with leave a post it in front of me...saying, 'Rm#???, fall, head injury'...
And, indeed it was. I got off the phone right away, and found that the injury was more than I could take care of, so started the process of shipping pt. out to ER.
As I was still preparing the paperwork, and E.M.T.'s were arriving, I had another pt. expire.
With a few more mishaps following, I was unable to leave for atleast an extra hour overtime.
It was crazy!

Before work, I had another apptmt. for therapy. I am so amazed at what they do. I never imagined the type of things they truly do for people. My scarring from cesarians, and my chole are keloid, it is a very nasty scarring, thick, and the therapist I saw yesterday works on breaking some of that up since it attaches to the muscle and will cause problems with your posture. She also worked with my ankle more than my pelvis, and so far, I haven't had any more pain in my ankle. My hip still bothers me a bit. I am very impressed!

This morning the boy was up and dressed bright and early! We headed out to check the flowers, he's been keeping track of the dead ones that need 'cuttin' for me in my flower pots...only he's cutting the live ones. What can I say, he's trying to help Mommy!

We took a peek at the strawberry bushes in the garden, and found quite few red ripe strawberries! He went to work picking all he could see. He insisted we needed to put them in a cup with cream, and make strawberry shortcake. So, we did just that tonight. Strawberry shortcake for all but Daddy, with only strawberries from OUR garden. He was quite proud.

Today I took the kids to the pool, girls took off on thier own, playing basketball in the water with boys. Grace was so dreamy eyed afterward I wanted to vomit! I just simply DO NOT promote, nor look forward to this phase of her life.

I stuck with the tots, dare I say, they are growing so fast, I really need to stop referring to them as 'the babies', 'tots', etc...

Anyway...The boy had a blast, I've said it before, I'll say it again..THAT BOY IS A FISH!
Lulu, she just barely got into it, mostly hung on my leg, and held my hand. But, she did a great job at letting me know when she needed to potty, and did so on the toilet vs. in the pool.

Tomorrow I go sign Beau and Leah up for Preschool through our college co-op, and get Grace registered for Volleyball. Then, I'm on for 2 NOC shifts, with soccer team meetings each night before work for Drew and Beau, gotta find out the coach and practice times.

I am SO not ready for the madness to begin again!!!

"I. WANT. MY. HIGH. CHAIR!!!"

2008-08-11T12:38:00.000-07:00

I was long overdue in tossing out the old highchair. It sat in my dining room like a permanent fixture for the past 5 years. Seems like forever... I enjoyed the availability of it's use for my 3yo Leah whenever I made such dinners as spaghetti, hoping it would deter her from making a much larger mess as would inevitably ensue should I place her at the table on my cream colored table cloth.

However...it was time. I just simply did not expect the reaction that came from that tiny little 3 yo...it was like a monster was unleashed when she realized we were leaving her beloved highchair at Aunt Missy's house. And, it only became worse when I tried to explain to her who was now going to use it. She no longer wanted anything to do with THAT baby.

It looked a little something like this:

Only with a little more UMMPPPH! if you know what I mean. I was surpised she didn't throw herself across the folded up highchair and refuse to leave. There was no trading, or bartering, no convincing her it was needed somewhere other than our home.

Oooohh, the drama I have created in simply trying to keep my babies, babies a bit longer...

Playing with my Rebel

2008-08-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

In viewing some other blogs, I am stockpiling some photo ideas. I recently purchase Photoshop Elements 5.0 on ebay for around $30, but I think I need 6.0 to do what I want to do. I'm watching one with starting bid $10 right now. With XP no longer sticking around, I think I have a great chance of getting 6.0 cheap, new.
I tried some RAW settings on my Rebel last night, and I love how it allows for better editing options.
Here is one I played with last night...Tungsten.

With the GOOD, always come a little BAD

2008-08-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

We left late morning Tuesday to head over to camp. D decided he'd better have the trailer tires checked first, so we stopped on the way through town. Turned out, we had to buy 4 new trailer tires, NOT PLANNED FOR. It took awhile, so I took the kids down the road on foot to feed them, they were 'starving'...like always.
Once we got to camp, we found our trailer batteries were dead. As in, unchargable, DEAD. D ended up having buy 2 new batteries on top of just putting new tires on the trailer. Granted, poor planning, I think we should have gotten these things done last year, or early this summer vs. day of camp trip.

The first evening was beautiful, kids were sooo dirty. I think, the dirtiest all trip. They started building a fort in the trees, Boy was makin' dust with his beloved truck.
At bedtime, Leah had a screaming, 'exorcist' style fit about the dark of night. We had to leave a flashlight on all night for her to sleep. She still woke um-teen times, leaving me a walking zombie the following day.

To top it all off, we awoke to a horrible rain/thunder/lightning storm day 2.

Now the dirt there is so dusty, not like sand, but just like fine powder. It flies, it sticks, it is a mess. Add a little rain, it turns into this thick wet paste which stuck to thier shoes like glue. Our trailer got dirty real fast! My anal side was freaking out!

I had to let go, and deal.

Once it all cleared, we took kids down to the lake to swim, play. They loved it!

But, on the way back to camp, we found D's right rear tire was going flat on his truck. He decided to go ahead and drive it to LaPine to get it fixed. Unfortunately, it blew, the ENTIRE THING JUST BLEW. He was stuck. Fortunately for cell phones, he got help and they gave him a temporary spare tire. But, this tire would not get us home the following day with trailer.

D had to make another trip to get the real replacement tire. There went my new washing machine!

Turned out the tire had some sort of recall, and he paid only a fraction of the price. That helps. But, really, how many more things could go wrong in one trip? As D kept saying, "This stuff is supposed to happen to 'bad' people, we aren't bad people." I don't know that that matters.

Kids probably won't even remember the mishaps, and I know they enjoyed every minute of camping. The boy took his 'truck' and drove it everywhere, loving the terrain, bumps, hills, slopes all around us. He heard an eagle, which thrilled him. Saw blue herons, tons of dragon flies, and butterflies. I think the butterflies hatched, as we were driving, there were hundreds, thousands flying about, there was no way to avoid some of them getting splattered on our windshield. It was amazing...Something I would have loved to get video of. They were truly just EVERYWHERE.

We had a little raft, to cross the river in. My sister took Grace over, looked like a breeze. She then took Drew over. Then, I took Beau. BIG MISTAKE. I hate feeling like I'm out of control. I just felt like I could not row well, then once we got over the river to the falls, Beau started freakkin' out, the water being SO clear, you could see everything, he kept hollering, "OH NO! LOOK! THE DROP OFF!" My pulse started racing, I was losing it. He was freaking as I was struggling to turn the raft around. I WILL NEVER DO THAT EVER AGAIN. I would not be one to do any white water rafting...NO WAY!

Through multiple rain/hail/thunder/lightning storms random daily, the kids still had fun. It was beautiful once the storms subsided and gave us a few short hours of amazing sunlight, and warmth. I already miss it.

Camp Trip Prep

2008-08-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

Getting ready to go camping...
D should be back from Montana anytime now, and I am trying to get all the clothing, and linens to the trailer. Still need to mop out the trailer, and make the beds.

The boy had no tennis shoes to fit him for camping. Last pair I bought him was apparently a size 9...so I took him today to get a pair, sale and coupons...HE WEARS A SIZE 12!!! He's only 4 years old!
Holy Cow! I could not beleive it. No wonder he kept telling me his shoes hurt his feet. I swear it hasn't been that long since I bought them though. He had to have a pair for running around camping. Got him a little pair of Avia runners. He picked them out.

Well...off to finish folding last load of laundry, pack my bag, and get busy with finishing duties...
If I'm lucky, we may get to pick up my new dresser today too, if D gets back in minutes.
I found one to match our mission style bed, it was $449, regular $749. I am so stoked to finally have a nice new dresser that I picked out. In the past we have had gimme's. Slowly but surely I am building my own style...

We went to the Zoo!

2008-08-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

My cousin came and stayed the weekend, so we could make a trip to the zoo. It's pretty much an all day thing, we left late, but we got there about 1, had to shuttle over, and didn't leave until around 6:30pm...we closed the zoo down! I have never before done that.
Kids had a blasted time! All Leah wanted to do was see the giraffe...cute!
We checked out the newer Dinosaurs Trail, and that was an absolute hit with all! Boys loved it! The T REX was amazing...so HUGE! The boy had to take a second look to realize it's size.
The thrill ride was incredible, and they loved riding the train. We bought the whole package. Figured, if we're gonna do it, we're gonna do it all!
Only, we did miss one area, not a big deal, though.
Enjoy a couple of my favorites for the day...

Don't mess with the Rex!
Finding Fossils
Brushing a Goat

Movin' Along..

2008-07-30T11:57:00.000-07:00

I am sooo exhausted!
I woke up so groggy...these extra shift are really getting to me.
This week I have been on one crazy rotation since Friday:
Swing, Day, Day, Swing, Day....then today it's Swing, and tomorow Noc. The 3rd Day, and tomorrow Noc being shifts I accepted on Sunday, and Yesterday, last minute kinda. I just hate to say no when they are scrambing to find someone, and if I can do it, I will. This will make 3 OT shifts this period.

During this time, we had one resident pass. I was the nurse on that wing the night before he died, and the sons had come in quizzing me on how long I expected it would be. I never give a definite answer to that, I just can't. You never know when someone is going to die. There are signs that I look for, but not all exhibit them. Some live on the edge of death for weeks, while others take under 24 hours from onset of decline.
However, I stated that it could be as soon as 24, but there is no telling for sure.
That was at about 10pm the 25th, and when I went to work Sunday the 27th, it was posted this resident died around 11pm the 26th. I was shocked at how close in estimation I was.
No matter what, it is always sad when someone passes, I never forget any of them.

I'm CrOoKeD!

2008-07-29T16:18:00.000-07:00

So...had my 1st therapy session today in regards to my painful ankle. Just an eval, but found out some interesting news. Other things that I have been experiencing for months are seemingly related all to ONE thing.

I had those babies, and did not want to let them grow. I carried them way past the toting age, on my LEFT HIP. In doing so, I somehow 'shortened' my pelvis, by tilting to the left. My pelvis is crooked! This has caused me left hip pain/discomfort for awhile now. Also, right lower lumbar discomfort, and most recently the right hip and calf pain. I now seem to pronate when I walk, on the R, compensating for the L hip discomfort, causing an uneven gait.

Funny how it all relates, huh?

I never wanted to get checked once I started having the L hip pain. I mean, I had just had my g.b. out in december, and the last thing I wanted was to deal with more appointments, or bills.
But, now I am glad I finally gave in.

My pelvic bone on the L is higher than the R, it can be pulled back down. But, I also have to work out some muscle tightening that resulted as well.
I'm not sure how many sessions of therapy this will require, but thankfully, I can schedule my appointments right before my shift at work since we have a therapy department willing to work with me.

I am being instructed not to wear flip flops...NOT WEAR FLIP FLOPS???!!!
I LOVE my flip flops...
Rather, they want me to wear something called Chaco, you can see them HERE.
As for my Dansko's, I have been told NOT to wear them either, but rather wear a tennis shoe for awhile, and then think about buying Keen shoes...a highly supportive tennis shoe, which you can see HERE.
Aughhh!!!
If only I'd let those babies down to walk more often!

He thinks I'm cRaZy!!!

2008-07-26T17:38:00.001-07:00

So, needed a trim, took Grace to get one too, and you know, something in me just felt a little WILD, and so I gave in and went for something a little different this time...

I am SOOOOO loving it! It is so sassy, easy, and light! Great for this humid heat we are having, and so fast to get ready in the morning for those dayshifts I keep getting scheduled for...Only, D loves the boring, long, straight hair I always have, and so he was NOT pleased when he saw me initially he said I was CRAZY! "What is it with girls and cutting thier hair shorter and shorter?", he said.

But, after a bit, he looked at me and said, "Hmmm...you really look different...I think I like it!" I think he likes it better than he even expected to. A little change has brought a bit more enthusiasm from DH. Who'd a thunk it?

Yet another recall...

2008-07-23T19:48:00.000-07:00

This cute little toy is on a new list of recalls at Target stores. Little Leah received this on her 2nd birthday, and she still has every piece, and LOVES to play icecream store with it.

According to THIS, I am to take this toy back to Target and receive a $10 refund. All due to the velcro wooden cherries on top posing a choking hazard for small children.

I am at a dillemma on this since I can no longer find anything similar, and my children no longer put anything in thier mouth. I don't think I'll take it back! What's $10??? This is an adorable little wooden, painted sundae set. All pieces velcro together to create the banana split appearance.

What would you do???

I'm in a MOOOOOD!

2008-07-20T19:48:00.000-07:00

I am in a funk...2 dayshifts, got a NOC tomorrow night...trying to keep my head above water with kids and all the housework.

I think I don't need to work this much after this month!

In any case...a whopping $3.82 brought that boy a entirely new fascination with the water hose...I think I have a couple great little helpers for watering the garden and the flowers now. Hee hee!

Lots of boo-boo's, Lulu's 1st Haircut & A Yummy Breakfast

2008-07-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

This morning was so nice and breezy, so cool, got some windows opened up to let it in to our humid house!
The boy woke up first, and was 'cold', so he climbed into bed with me, and we cuddled in the covers a bit, talking about our day, what we should do, and what we should have for breakfast. He was somewhat of a grumpy bumpy boy, but quickly began to giggle :)
I made the kids French Toast with Texas Toast, and my yummy saigon cinnamon from costco, as well as the vanilla my Dad always gets me from Mexico. Also, made some bacon, Leah LOVES bacon. The kids ate like pigs! They loved it all! Leah kept repeating over and over, in sing song...'I loooove bacon!" And, ofcourse, with a full belly came a ever so sweet, "Mommy, I love you!"

Grace had a friend stay over last night, and I love to try to figure out a way to scare them. Last time I happened to time it just right, by pure coincidence, I started banging on the trailer window while they were watching a scarey movie. Well, last night, they came in to use the bathroom once more, and I ran out as they were in the house, hid in the trailer, and waited....They came back, all cocky, talking loud, and sat on the couch, then I ran out, screaming, they nearly passed out! It was hilarous. I LOVE pulling one on Grace!

With all the time we are spending outside, the litle ones are ending up with band aids allover thier bodies...well, exaggeration, but really, owie after owie after owie...
D got out the quad the other night, and as Leah went to get on with Grace, her leg touched the HOT exhaust pipe, and I didn't know this until last night! She had a bad burn, and he never told me! I doctored it up as much as I could for being an old burn, but it was through epidural layer, blistered, I am very worried she will have a terrible scare from it. It looks terrible!
The boy somehow got a cut on his right big toe, a deep one, and today he has already fallen down and scrape his left knee up real good. I hate my kids looking all beat up, but I guess that's just what happens sometimes...

Due to working a bit more, D was in charge of evening time with the kids, and he was mostly letting them swim, and play outside, which is fine, but he failed to bathe any of them for days, over a week! Their hair was soooo stinky, and Leah's fine curls at the ends were fried! So, last night, I gave her her first little hair cut. It is a bit of bob. But, it gives her just the right amount of sassiness to somewhat add to her bubbly personality even more...I LOVE IT! Took a few pics to share...enjoy!

A few hours away...

2008-07-16T07:51:00.000-07:00

This hot summer weather had the kids in the pool nearly all day, and my floors a mess of grass clippings and wet footprints!
It's making me crazy!
I feel like I'm mopping EVERY DAY!
Last night, I went out to eat with a friend, Angela, we had been wanting to go to a new restaurant in town called Carino's Italian Grill . It was YUMMY!
We started with some very delicious bread, and salad. I ordered Spicy Chicken and Shrimp, it had this rich spicy sauce, mushrooms, green onions, red peppers, with penne pasta. It was so rich I had to take 1/2 home, D ate the rest.
And, ofcourse, I had an italian soda, strawberry with cream, my favorite!
We had about a 40 minute wait to get a seat, so we browsed at Old Navy clearance. I found a couple cute tank tops.
I haven't seen Angela in a few weeks, and since then I have gotten a bit of a tan from swimming with the kids, and weeding, etc. She looked at me, and said, "So, is that REAL tan, or is it spray tan?" Ha!
*Prior to going, D really gave me a hard time. He made sure I knew he was jealous, whatever you want to call it. We hardly do much without the kids except go to work. And, we just can't afford to go out to eat a ton like some couples. We'd rather be home anyway...but, I need time away some times. I don't give in much, and often I get this terrible guilty feeling for it, but I need it. I need time with friends once in awhile. He just doesn't get it. He was single in his 20's...I was going to nursing school, and popping out babies in my 20's. He has got to stop making me feel guilty!!! AUGGHH!!!
When I got home after being gone only 3 hours, the little ones came running, "Mommy! Your home!" Jumping up and down with big smiles and giggles, then on to begging for icecream. As if I had been gone for days! Drew pinned me, and said, "So, where WERE you?" More like, 'Mom, WHO SAID YOU COULD LEAVE WITHOUT US?'
You can tell I don't do much without the kids...
Well, gotta prep for nearly a week of dayshifts, and a graveyard in the mix...good thing the graveyard is time and a half...I'm just not used to it at all!

Tons to tell!

2008-07-11T23:37:00.000-07:00

Busy busy week here! I have been working what seems like a TON! I took on some extra shifts this month, since D said to, although he will deny that...making me a full time Nurse this month only. But, I will definitely appreciate the EXTRA money coming in next month from it. I will be lagging in hours next month due to soccer camps starting, and camp trips planned.

I am in dire need of a new washing machine, and a dresser, so one or the other or both will be purchased soon with my extra earnings. Nice to have it coming, with 2 time and 1/2 shift also.

Kids got back from a short trip with my Mom. It was so wierd to not have them here so many days. Glad to finally get them home. A few surprises though...Grace, being 13, seems to think she has a newfound increase of independence in her decision making. None of my cousins that they visited have children her age, they are smaller, Drew's age and younger. So, apparently she was treated more like an adult than I would allow at home. They have a pool at thier house, I told Grace to take her suit, she refused. Well, she took $40 of earned babysitting money with her, and when they all went to the river, she decided to buy a swimsuit. Only, it was not something I would EVER allow her to wear. I try to emphasize modesty, regularly. My dtr is only 13, not 16 or 18. I put my girls in either one piece, or tankini/boyshort style suits. NO bikini's. Especially not for my teen right now.

She bought the suit that in her words, 'I chose the one that would cover me most but didn't cost a lot of money Mom!' Ummm...I don't think so. She bought a red/white polka dot skimpy forbidden bikini. The top was strings with small triangles to cover her ta tas, and the bottoms where small hipster style bikini bottoms. NOT SOMETHING I WOULD EVER LET HER GET. But, she bought it, wore it to the river while there, and wasn't gonna let me know she had it.

I, being the intuitive Mother I am, started wondering what she wore to the river she spoke of swimming in. I was very upset about her purchasing it, in my opinion, she wasted her money. She knew better, and so...I took the suit telling her she will NEVER wear it ever again. She thinks I still have it. I can't return it, it's been worn 2x at least. I won't donate it. I won't save it for years from now. It disgusted me, and it was pure disobedience. I simply took it, dug around for my sewing scissors, and cut that suit into dozens of tiny little scraps.

NEVER TO BE WORN AGAIN!

She also had this idea she needs to, and should be allowed to wear make up now. We discussed mascara before she went on this trip with my Mom. I had told her, clear mascara only. No color, and definitley NOT black. She comes home with a tube of black extreme volumizing mascara. I confiscated this as well. She keeps insisting she NEEDS it. It is now in the trash. Another disobedient act.

I love my dtr. I know she is growing up, but she is trying to grow up way too fast! I am not trying to baby her, but what I am trying to do is keep them kids for a while longer than most parents do. I see so many young 11 12 13 yo girls running around with tons of make up on. It's so disgusting to see these young girls trying to look as if they are adults already. It's just not what I will be okay with. I do not think I am doing wrong by her. I just want her to be modest with her body, love herself for her natural beauty, and have self confidence without thinking/feeling she has to mask who she truly is for others to think she is beautiful.

She IS a beautiful girl. But, she is just that still, a girl. NOT a woman.

D felt I over reacted by cutting the suit up, but I think I needed to make a huge point, not to be forgotten. If she wants the freedom to purchase clothing with the money she earns, she also has to show me some maturity, and responsibility by making wise choices. This was not a wise choice. Enough drama...

Took the kids to visit cousins yesterday. Needed to visit my Melbamoo! Had fun. She babysits now, decided to quit her full time job this year and stay home. Good choice I think. Our kids grow up so fast, it's such a pity to have to miss it.

She is babysitting her new little nephew, whom I did not know was there when I arrived. He is only 3 months old, and sooo sooo sooo cute! I loved holding him. Leah never see's babies, we don't know anyone with a baby, and she is my last, so we won't have another one in our house.

I made sure to let her see this baby, so I held him out to her, and said, "Leah! Look what Mommy got! A baby!" She was busy playing kitchen at the time, and looked up, startled then started saying, "NO! I DON'T WANT IT! GO 'WAY! NO!" I was so shocked at her reaction. She absolutley refused to look at or hold the little guy. She acted scared. I tried to show her again, she asked, "Where did it come from?" Mel told her,from his mommie's tummy. She looked at him a bit, still not wanting anything to do with him, then started playing a bit more. As I continued holding him, and visiting, she blurted out to me, "GO PUT HIM BACK!"

I had to laugh. I mean, how crazy was her reaction? I just did not understand her not liking a baby. She plays with her dolls a lot, she has seen babies, not held them, or really been around them more than seeing them in passing at the mall or such. But, to be scared of or so openly disliking him?

After a bit, she finally warmed up, and came over to me, started telling me he needed a diaper, and a ba ba. She eventually asked to hold him, and wanted to feed him his bottle.

On another note: I am seriously considering a new tattoo. I have one to my lower back, but my idea this time is to get all of my childrens names in small script running together around my ankle like a little ankle bracelet. D says it will hurt terrible, and doesn't want me to do it, but I really want to. What do any of you Momma's have to say? Good or Bad idea?

Day at the Beach...Happy 4th!!!

2008-07-04T20:38:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful day it was today! We got to the beach, it was overcast, a bit of rain, but by 1pm it was 70 degrees and sunny!
Leah had a blast! We went to the Marine Science Center where she was able to touch a starfish, sea anemone, and sea urchin, but she refused, go figure...she only stared at them and kept asking what thier names were. Very inquisitive.
We got some salt water taffy, which btw, I must say, the flavor I now love is Buttercream. It tastes just like real buttercreme icing...mmm mmm mmm!
Got D some oysters, he loves them. In the shell, and out.
Played on the beach a bit, the tide was coming in quickly, but Lulu was able to play awhile. She lost interest fast in building a sand castle. When she attempted to stand and let the waves come to her feet, she became very scared since it made her rock a bit.
She loved the tide pools, and grabbed handfuls of sand, tossing them into the water.
It wasn't long before she had a melt down over not wanted to walk the beach to look for agates, and a big walking stick. I wanted to write her name in the sand and take her picture with it as I try to do with all the kids, but she refused to have the patience for me and began screaming, "I don't want no more pictures!!!" Well, then, little miss lulu...Enjoy the montage!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Just one Little Lulu?!!

2008-07-03T23:13:00.000-07:00

So....after working 5 days straight, not being able to be home with my kids, my Mom takes 3 of them away from me for the next week!

I miss them, and I need some time with my laughing boy!

But, honestly, I will say, it is soooo much more calm around here with only one sweet little Lulu to care for, and play with.

We went to the riverfront festival this eve, shared an elephant ear, and she climbed on a few inflated playthings for a bit. She had fun. It was so easy to deal with just her. I was almost, dare I say? BORED!

I let her eat oatmeal for dinner, and she passed out on the living room floor with a movie in hand that she had just picked moments earlier. It was so cute!

Tomorrow we are headed for the beach!

It's the 4th, but I am 3 kids short, and D will be sleeping for a NOC shift, sooo....me and my sissy are spending the day near the ocean waves, making sand castles, and searching for agates. Ahhh!

I plan to take along the rebel and try to get a few fun shots of Lulu on the beach. I'll share my shots tomorrow night!