Couldn't say it any better!

DON'T MESS WITH MOM

My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today, The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like, get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services, better known as C.S.D."

Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach a lesson made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face; he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D. who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite, and wait till dinner time.
I'm making liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room; you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now; I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect today!

Hey HOT SHOT, are you crying, Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D..?"

Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised
teenagers, or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who
will be parents
someday OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH

From a MOM (Mean Old Mother)

Lazy Day

I think I was in my PJ's today until approximatley noon. Crazy I know. But, hey, I have 2 babies people! Not 1, but 2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2!!! And it is coming to a point that niether of them naps at the same time EVER, let alone naps at all some days. So, as Leah was screaming, Beau napping, I became enthralled with cleaning the bathrooms. I went to clean the main bathroom, which the girls use most often, and there was this overpowering stench of mold. I searched and searched for where it was coming from, but every time I got warmer, I lost it! Still can't figure it out. Anyway...got that done, and Leah had fallen asleep, ON HER BACK, so I quick ran and hopped into the shower. We got around, went into town, had to buy some more swim diapers for the boy. I went to big lots, had a coupon for 1.00 off huggies swim diapers, well everyone, BIG LOTS TAKES NO COUPONS, if you didn't already know this. Really pissed me off! Had to have them anyway...Drew, my five year old, she had gem money earned, and she decided to buy a skateboard, a barbie one. Yes, a skateboard, even though she recently flew from one and nearly bore a hole in her chin. What can I say? She's my rough, and tough one. The pretty little tomboy. Grace said, "MOM, your gonna let her get that?" I was like, "It's her money." She'll learn. Gotta pad her chin with an ABD pad first. Ha!
This evening, after we got home, we all headed to the back yard. My husband is gone for a few days, so I have charge of watering his garden , along with all of my flower beds, which I am deeply regretting to have made, I have NO TIME for them now! I put the baby in her stroller, she was okay for a bit, as I cleaned out the kiddy pool, boy at my side waiting for his turn at the hose. Then, as I started watering the garden she began to scream, and scream she did the whole time! I gotta get things done around here! While she was screaming, the boy was pretending to ride the lawn mower, and I still watering the garden...the puppy decided she fit through the fence and went into our back nieghbors yard. I only have 2 hands here, I can't do this all alone! WHY ME? I dearly love this pup, but I cannot be hunting her down! Once she finally came back through the fence, (I could not jump over this 10 ft tall cyclone fence), she went right back on the leash. What was I thinking? I have 3 babies to care for now!

JACK...COME BACK! I'M LOSING MY MIND!

Water+The Boy=Double the Water Bill

We spent the evening outside in the backyard trying to cool off, poured myself into my one piece, (HA, more like stuffed myself.) I sat in the lawn chair overseeing the activities. The girls playing with the pup, or swimming. The boy, climbed into the pool, regular diaper, unbeknownst to me filled with poop, so exited pool with water logged poop filled diaper sagging practically to his ankles. What a sight! He was walking beau-legged...like that one? heehee. I turned on the hose to water a few flowers, the boy quickly tagged along, and he insisted on watering the bark instead of the flowers tonight. What a struggle that was! After I finished, he took charge of the hose, filling the pool some more, watering the grass...all naked. He pulled with all his might, the hose over as close to our rott as possible, once he was satisfied he began to wet his hands, then run over to Bubba and rub him as if he were giving him a bath...thanx Daddy! He did this for about 10 minutes, then decided to fill the puppy food scoop with water, and watering the ivy along our fence. This kept him busy for quite some time. Running back and forth, soooo naked. WHERE DID THIS BOY COME FROM? All these girls, sitting around, whining, and this ♥amazing boy♥, watering my flowers, bathing the dogs! He's just wonderful. After he finished the watering, he started running all over the yard, and apparently ran right through the poopy, water logged diaper I had not yet thrown away...So he was running with his poop on his foot. Had to turn the water back on, and hose him off. Silly boy! Yeah, the girls kept whining, "WHY DON'T WE HAVE A BIG POOL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?" Hmmmm...I wasn't aware that everyone else had one. Well, we have 2 sprinklers, so HA!

My Old Home Town

Today we took my Husband to the airport for a trip to visit his Dad. The boy just loves airplanes so I was hoping to get to take him inside to watch some planes land and take off, but I would have had to pay for parking, so we just dropped Daddy off at the terminal. Maybe another time...On the way back, we stopped in my hometown and ate lunch at the park. I had chosen this park for what I thought it may still have, one of those large metal bar dome climbers?! You know what I mean...you may not, oh well. It didn't have it, but it did still have a few other play structures left from when I was a kid, so my kids played for awhile, I fed Leah, and we ate some McD's. The boy went through a few periods of extreme panic when he heard a train coming by, even though he couldn't see it, he was scared to death that it would get him! LOL.
It was so strange driving through the town, everything seemed 10x smaller than ever before. Alot of things were different...some better, some not. I wondered if any of my friends actually still live there. Probably not. Anyway...enough reminiscing...
We are home now, and the boy is in the crib for the 2nd time, still no nap, still screaming...Leah fell asleep on my bed, ON HER BACK, and Drew is a big, mean, green, whining machine. With Daddy gone, it is so quiet...miss him already. Maybe we will watch a movie and have popcorn, given it cools down some tonight.

Mommy, Don't cut my hair EVER again!

I made an ill-fated attempt last night to cut the boys hair with my husbands clippers. I thought, "I can do this!" I mean, how hard can it be? It's not like I could ruin a boys hair cut! HA! I did. I whacked it, the clipper guard fell off and I shaved a chunk out. It kept falling off, and the boy kept wiggling, crying, eating hair...So, Yeah, gonna pay from now on to have it done I think. My friend came out and helped even it out so it was at the very least all the same length. MY POOR HANDSOME! He looks military now...and he's only 18 months old.

Whiney Preteen

Yesterday morning I made the 10 year old get up at 8am to help with the new puppy. As she was climbing down from her loft bed, she said to me, "ARE YOU KIDDING? I HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE WHEN I JUST WOKE UP?" I was like, "You are not gonna sleep until 10, get up and help by making sure she has water, and letting her off the leash for 1/2 an hour." She just kept protesting...I had both babies awake at 7am, neither ready to go down for napping for awhile. So, Grace got up, took her blanky, and pillow and parked herself on the couch. Hmmm...I told her to go get the pup, bring her in for awhile, she did. Then the pup fell asleep on her blanket, and I told the girls to go get dressed, and eat while the pup was sleeping so they could take her out to play when she woke up, just like a baby! They whined, and whined...both wanted a puppy, but neither wants to take care of her. Ironic. I can threaten with getting rid of her, but I want her, and so does the boy, and Daddy. So, pull the big guns out. Later in the day I kept finding Grace in the house, beautiful day outside, yet she was glued to the TV. I told her over and over, GET OUTSIDE! I had to tell her this just before I started cooking dinner, her excuse this time..."I feel sick." OH, poor baby, THEN GET IN BED! So, I go on about cooking dinner, go and check on her, she's sitting at her desk drawing, singing, listening to music...I said, "Get in bed, your sick!" Her response, "I didn't say that!" Am I hearing things or something? I must be going crazy here. After dinner, her friend called, and asked for her to ride bikes, I said, "No, you cannot go play, your sick, remember? If your too sick to go outside with the puppy, then your too sick to play!" ..."Well, I'm not sick anymore...Please?" Sooooo much drama!

Teen Trouble

Well, I work a whopping 1-2 days a week now, and seems every time I do, some dramatic event occurs on the homefront. Last night, I got a phone call before I even got through half a shift telling me that the 5 year old was using the 15 year olds skateboard, hit a crack and flew, hitting her chin and splitting it open. As she balled, bloody chin running all over, Beau ran over and started balling, then Leah started in, and the puppy pee'd on the floor. He lost it, ran to tell Grace to help with the puppy, Heather to help with Beau, outside. They went outside, sat in the lawn chairs, and did nothing but look at the puppy and watch Beau cry. Darrin told Heather, "Play with Beau!" She argued back, and he said, "your grounded", she spouted out, "NO, I'm not!", he told her "yes YOU ARE!", he told her to go to her room, and she said," Glad to!" So, he was in the back yard and she ran off, hid her internet adapter so he couldn't take it away. Did end up coming back, and had just gone to the park down the road, "to think".

NO SWIM...yeah, right Mom!

I was outside with the boy yesterday, we wandered around the yard, and I saw that the pool needed cleaned out since it was all green. I started scrubbing the bottom with a big brush, and I told the boy, 'no swim, yucky!', I kept scrubbing, and all the sudden he just dove in, no warning, shoes and clothes on into that mucky, yucky, grosser than gross water! Should've known I couldn't tell that boy no swim, WHAT WAS I THINKING? I pulled him out, stripped him naked, finished the pool, and started refilling it. He stood in the middle, naked, holding the hose as it filled.

The boy...he is just so darn full of surprises!

Yesterday I was vaccuming, (my 3rd day in a row of this, LOL, it's summer, dirty feet and puppy now) and so the boy had to follow suit with his little fake lawn mower. Then I washed the glass end table with windex, he intently watched my every move, then I handed him the paper towel to pretend wash the table after me, well, he did just that, only he soaked the paper towel the puppy drinking water then went back to the table and washed it! My little love!

Also, yesterday we had to take the Evie, and my mom's puppy Audrey to the vet for thier first distemper, worming, and a check-up. Turns out they have absolutely NO fleas, YAY!, and they informed us that a rhodesian ridgeback, which is what our pup is taking on more of the traits of, grows to be as big as a Great Dane! WHOA! Knew she would be big, but not that big...They gave us a puppy kit for each pup which included a free bag of science diet food, first dose of advantage flea medication, and a vaccination record. The trip there and back was nothing short of stressful...my sister sitting in passenger seat trying to keep her pup quiet and still, our pup in back jumping all over Drew, and Beau screaming and screaming for who knows what, ALL THE WAY!!! Gotta ♥ 'em!

OMG this morning... it was so hectic. Leah screamed each time I put her down, trying to either feed me or the boy, or someone else! Leah somehow managed to lose an earring, I searched everywhere, finally found it in her swing, but no back. Think the boy pulled it out of her ear when she was sitting in the swing as I was cooking breakfast. Anyway, we found an alternate back to put on, and all is good. After the marathon of feeding, changing diapers, getting babies dressed,getting girls hair brushed,and taking care of puppy...I am taking a time out. Crazy mornings!

Lovely Leah

♥♥♥This baby I adore! ♥She is so beautiful, so wonderful!♥ Thankyou God♥♥♥

Our trip to COOL!

Today we went to the new water park that just opened here in town. I figured I would be able to watch Beau while sitting with baby, well...didnt' work that way. The boy is a fish! How many times have I said this?????? He knows NO limits in the water. Luckily they supplied life jackets at no additional cost, he had to have one on! However, once he had that sucker was on he decided he was Superboy. He quickly figured out how those things work, keeping him suspended on top of the water, and so made many attempts at a quick escape over to the water slide, and 6ft deep section, I had to run, jello butt jiggling, Leah in one arm, slipping and sliding to catch him before he jumped in! It was insane, next time, NO LEAH, and Mommy must be in swimming attire. Fat butt and lactating boobies, no excuses! At one point he got so wild in the water, he gulped and puked, right next to these 2 young, first time mommy's, which then made them quickly leave the pool FOR GOOD! HA! That'll teach 'em to flounce around in thier itsy bitsy teeney weeney halter strap and thong bikinis ! Some day, some day, it will be their child puking in the pool...I can't wait!

Got It!

YELLOW JEEP BEWARE...I HAVE YOUR PLATE NUMBER, AND I AM CALLING IT IN...

LET THE WORLD SEE IT HERE!

YXP 252

BAD "GUG"!

Ohhhhhh, my poor boy got stung by a bee today! He was playing with his bucket and shovel in the yard, then saw a bee, poked it, and it stung him right on the finger tip of his first finger on his right hand. My MIL got the stinger out with tweezers, and put baking soda on it, then gave him some benadryl to help the swelling. I tried to put ice on his finger, but he just wanted to eat it. Then I tried to put a bandaid on it, but he decided that the band aid belonged on his left shin instead. So, for about 3 hours he walked around stinky binky in mouth, and holding up his right finger in the air. He wouldn't even pick up his tippy to drink, so I had to hold it for him while he drank his juice. The redness, and swelling went down pretty quickly, and by bedtime he was back to normal. Don't think he'll touch a bee again...or any 'gug' for that matter!

Beach Baby

Today we went to the coast to escape the horrible humidity here in the valley. First we dropped some crab nets in the bay, then had lunch, and made our way to the nearest beach. The boy's first time, as far as he can remember, to the beach, and he was scared to death of the sand! He would not walk at all in the loose, dry sand, and when it came to the wet sand, he tiptoed around all the foot prints, and so it took him forever to get anywhere. He finally loosened up some, and would atleast walk on the wet sand nearest the ocean. We found "treasure", agates, seashells, 1/2 broken sand dollars, and a crab back. He put them in his little "treasure" bucket, and his coat pockets. I took him to the water, and at first he was scared to go into it, till I got showed him what to do, then, as we all know he is a fish anyway...he wanted nothing more than to take off all alone running into the water!!! He loved running down the beach chasing all the seagulls, and clapping his hands at them to make them fly away. The baby slept most of the time in her stroller...the girls made many attempts at creating a sand castle, with no success, so they just used the sand molds to make stars, flowers, cars, etc. in the sand. It was a fun day all in all, something we need to do more often for sure!

SLOW DOWN...small children at play!

Saturday night I was working my 2nd day of the week. I got a phone call from the hub about an incident at home. He starts with, "the girls asked to ride their bikes, so they went out and were riding in front of the house , and a yellow jeep came around the corner..." He stopped there, my heart starts racing, "WHAT?" He goes, "Dont' worry, they're okay...the girls said the jeep was swerving trying to hit them, and laughing, then a grey suburban came up beside them and started calling out cuss words then flipped them off and drove off." Yellow Jeep, huh? Well a week ago we had a yellow jeep with what I thought was a blonde girl driving it parked out front of our house for about 10 minutes brights on at 11:30 pm. The girls said they were teenage boys, a long haired blonde one in the jeep...okay...my husband did not get the license plate number, too late to get out in the front. Today, I called the sherrif's office, and they would do nothing but send out a request for extra patrole unless I got the license plate number. So, I said, "Oh, I WILL get the license number then." And so...the girls cannot even ride their bikes in front of our house without us being right there anymore...I am sooooo angry that this occurred.
They will pay for it, PUNKS!

A new Puppy!

We now have a puppy. She is a rhodesian ridgeback/boxer mix, and is just beautiful! Our daughters named her Evie. We wanted her for the boy. He needs a little buddy, and it is working out great! He gets a little upset, like when she runs after him biting the butt of his diaper. It is so hilarious to watch them! She follows him everywhere. We introduced her to our Rott 2 days ago, and he was okay with her until she started following under him biting his dog weenie. LOL! If the boy is naked, as he was most of yesterday, (it was sooooo hot here), then she follows after him and tried to bite his little boy weenie, he gets so mad, he stands there bent over, whining, clapping his hands at her. I just have to crack up! OH, and back to the boy being naked yesterday...he was standing in front of Daddy, facing Daddy, Daddy was on the phone, and all the sudden a stream of pee started shooting into the air, right onto Daddy's feet and into his shoes, he couldn't get up and out of the way quick enough! The boy was quite confused, he looked at his winky, moved it around a bit, looked at me, the started giggling. Then he let out a few real good farts, still naked, then looked at me, confused somewhat again, and then kept grabbing his butt for a good 10 minutes afterward. BOYS!
It was so hot yesterday that we had to stay outside till I think almost 10:30pm, whew! And even then, inside was still too warm. So, we ate sandwiches outside, the kids played FOREVER in the pool, and on the slipnslide. The hub was drinking a beer, or two, and as we were distracted with the girls and puppy, the boy found a crazy straw the girls left outside, and managed to get Daddy's 3/4 drank beer, put the straw in it, and start slurping...I caught him just as he swallowed, not sure if I he liked it or not...can't say he didn't, he didn't make a yuck face, so maybe he did like it. In any case, NO MORE BEER IN BOYS REACH DADDY!
Oh, this reminds me of another incident. My husband has the most utterly disgusting habit of chewing tobacco. He ALWAYS sets the can on the counter top, near the edge, and the boy has been fishing for items to pull off the counter. He can reach pretty far onto the counter too. Well, the other day he got it while we were in another room, and as I came upon him, he had opened the can of chew, and covered almost the entire area of carpet between the kitchen and our bedroom door!!!!!!! I think Daddy will listen to Mommy now to put it somewhere else.

Gems are paying off!

Drew bought her own Hula Hoop!


(thanks to earning gems)

Outdoor Fun

Today, I remembered about my mountain bike, and that it has an infant seat from way back when, (1998), and that I have a toddler helmet left over from Drew (2001), and soooooo I took the boy for a ride. He had a blast! It was so nice to get on the old bike again, even though my butt is now 3x the size it was when I first got the thing, but I was still able to ride it without my butt grazing the road as we rode. We went down our street, then up the hill to the left, turned around, then let our bikes glide all the way down past our road to the next, rode down that, them came back up and home again. Drew was so happy I was riding a bike along with her, that she giggled the whole way. It was nice to see such a thrill in her eyes. It reminds me how much I need to do these simple things with them. Make memories.
After the bikeride, we were a little sweaty, so I started filling up the pool. The boy noticed that the hose was on, and walked over, started with touching hose, moved toward splashing his arms in the water, then before I could get to him and take of his shoes, and socks, shorts, and shirt, he just got on all fours and climbed in the darn pool! He was already wet, so no hurry to get him out, huh? I just had to laugh!
As I have said SO many times before...THE BOY IS A FISH!




I just adore Motherhood...today!

How little one's think...

I am a vaccume-aholic. I have this uncontrolable urge to vaccume every inch of carpet even if only the carpet beneath the highchair has crumbs on it. I think this means I am some what of an obsessive/compulsive personality. Well, it has apparently rubbed off onto my adoring 18 month old son, Beau. Two days ago as I was getting out the vaccume, he began clapping his hands and giggling... as I started it up, he stood there in awe, then ran off, a few seconds later returning with his little kid lawn mower and began following behind me with it pretending to also be vaccuming as I was. I had to laugh. It was priceless.

The boy has somehow come to the conclusion that he is big enough to pick up and carry the baby...well, the other day he came up to me as I was holding Leah in my lap facing me, wrapped his arms around her belly and started to pull her away from me. I literally had a bout of tug-o-war with him over Leah, he just would NOT let go!

Last night we made Jiffy Pop popcorn, you know the kind that you have to rub on a burner on the stovetop until the big aluminum foil bubble fills with popcorn? Well, he had never seen this done before, it sorta scared him as it started to pop, it was a little loud. After it was all done popping, I gave him his own little cup full, then we came out to watch T.V. I was holding Leah facing out from me, Darrin was across the other end of the couch, and Beau was eating his popcorn beside me. I was looking at Darrin, talking, then all of the sudden I realized he had taken a piece of popcorn and had crushed it into Leahs mouth! I quickly reprimanded him, and got the popcorn out of Leahs mouth, I said, "NO, baby can't have popcorn, baby has no teeth!" He shook his head 'no'. For the next few minutes Leah kept slowly pushing little pieces of the crushed popcorn out of her mouth...

One day I was in the bathroom as Drew, was going potty, and I started sneezing all the sudden. They were very forceful, and I must have been trying to hold them back, all the sudden Drew says to me, "Mommy, why are you havin' such a hard time with your bless you's?"