Gorgeous♥
Resilient♥
Amazing♥
Caring♥
Intelligent♥
Extra Special♥
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
OMG, *jaw drops to floor*, is this for real?
I came home from work last night to find an immaculate kitchen, living room, AND bathroom, then this morning noticed the kids rooms, including the babies' were also immaculate. All due to...and this is where my jaw drops...my 10 and 5 year old daughters! I am amazed! They did an absolutely, positively wonderful job. All for me! Mean old Mom. I must be rubbing off on them somehow! I felt this definitely earned some gems. Grace 180, and Drew 120. WOW! I still can't believe it. What great kids I have!♥
I just don't understand!
So, the stepdtr that snuck out not more than 2 weeks ago is already ungrounded! My husbands exact words..."Yes, I ungrounded her. Things have been going real good for a few days now, and I just want to keep going from here." Notice I accentuated the 'few days'. My immediate response being, "A few days of good behavior does NOT earn anything!" Then I rolled over in bed. Well, I am not letting her have her phone back. And, I'm not letting him know where it is, or where the internet adapter cable is either. Has he truly gone blind? Is he really that naive? Who the hell did I really marry? And, where the hell did his balls go, 'cause apparently he no longer has any!!!
Excuse me while I scream...
Excuse me while I scream...
Monday, August 29, 2005
And I swear, once again...NEVER AGAIN!
I had to make a trip to the grocery store today, once again, with all 4 of my children in tow. No matter how I try to get the time to do it when I have help, I always end up doing it on my own with the kids. WHAT A NIGHTMARE IT WAS! For this simple chore, I do miss working so. I used to grocery shop after working swing shift at midnight. NO KIDS, they were home sleeping. So, not only did I get a stress-free grocery shopping experience, they were spared the anger that boils in me as they scream, fight, and play musical shopping carts. Auuuggghhh! You would think Grace, being 10, would be so much help in situations such as these, but she ends up being the instigator of giggle outbursts, and bumper carts. Drew then follows suit, while Beau sits in the cart letting out an occasional, "are you gonna look at me?" scream, as Leah arches her back in her carseat, whimpering for booby. I sympathize with the woman in the old nursery rhyme..."there was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had sooooooo many children she didn't know what to do..." I feel like I live in a shoe, and I definitely have SO many children, I truly do not know what to do! I don't think she ever had to go grocery shopping with them though. So, screw her! What was she complaining about? After each and every one of these trips, I swear to them, (those that understand me), "I'm never taking you with me EVER AGAIN!" And now Grace says, "Mom, you always say that, but you do it anyways." Sometimes I wish they couldn't talk at all.
I took the boy for a walk this evening. Him walking beside me as I pushed Leah in the stroller. Just listening to birdies, and looking for kitty cats. He collected a few rocks as we went along. I just love these moments. He is my wild card. My life's biggest surprise. My one and only Handsome. My BEAUTIFUL, BEAUtiful, Beautiful, beautiful Boy.
ALL IN THE SAME DAY...
I took the boy for a walk this evening. Him walking beside me as I pushed Leah in the stroller. Just listening to birdies, and looking for kitty cats. He collected a few rocks as we went along. I just love these moments. He is my wild card. My life's biggest surprise. My one and only Handsome. My BEAUTIFUL, BEAUtiful, Beautiful, beautiful Boy.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
So much fun!
Ahhhh! The Art&Air Festival. What an amazing time we had. (And my beautiful friend, Lazy Ezmerelda was there! YaY!) Saturday we went and saw the Fiesta Mexicana dancers. It was neat to see the dances they performed and the mexican dresses! Oh, how beautiful they were. Such full skirts, and bright colors. I just love that stuff. I am decendant from my fathers side of the family, I am 1/4, so my kids, as much as they may appear completely caucasian, are 1/8 mexicano! Drew tries to deny it, she's not sure about that dark skin. Hmmmm, one day she's gonna look in that mirror and see herself, all that dark skin, ON HER! Oh what a fit we will see her throw some summer...Anyway, Drew painted a rainbow on the mural board, as Beau blew bubbles...then the two older girls got airbrushed tattoos while Gma Linda took the boy and Drew to the airport for a peek at some airplanes up close. Grace got a butterfly on her mid-back in purples and pinks, then Heather got a heart with curvy lines going out from either side of it in pink, but somehow it turned out horribly crooked, and we didn't figure it out until after we had gotten home. Heeheehee! (devilish laugh) I'm just terrible aren't I? Oh well...After that...Drew made a beautiful magic wand, then lost it. She was so proud of it, and so devastated once she realized it was gone. I wish I had taken a picture of it. So goes life. We had a quick bite, ran into some friends, (Hi Joe and Cheryl! oh, and Ty and Alec, your sooo cute!) Then we left, but went back later without babies, YAY!, for the Los Lobos concert at the amphitheater. It rocked! I love that kind of music.
And, today, I made a quick run back with just the boy for the Reptile Man. It was soooo cool. He displayed a king cobra, gilla monster, some sort of alligator, and many other snakes. One was 8 ft long! Gimongous! (not a word, I know, just let me have fun, dmit!) We also took a quick ride on the trolly over to the airport for the boy to get one more chance to see those airplanes up close. He loved it! He is so in awe of airplanes. I got a photo of him standing right next to one. Maybe he'll be my Little Pilot some day! I can dream, can't I?
And, today, I made a quick run back with just the boy for the Reptile Man. It was soooo cool. He displayed a king cobra, gilla monster, some sort of alligator, and many other snakes. One was 8 ft long! Gimongous! (not a word, I know, just let me have fun, dmit!) We also took a quick ride on the trolly over to the airport for the boy to get one more chance to see those airplanes up close. He loved it! He is so in awe of airplanes. I got a photo of him standing right next to one. Maybe he'll be my Little Pilot some day! I can dream, can't I?
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Friday, August 26, 2005
Air Glow
Tonight we went to the Air Glow at the Art and Air Festival. It was so neat to see all those hot air balloons blown up and lit up. The boy love it, and the girls thought it was pretty cool too. I have never seen a hot air balloon so close before in my whole life. There were a few airplanes that flew low, so the boy got a good peek at some airplanes also. The girls seem to think tomorrow they are gonna get 'airbrushed tattoos'. There are tons of booths to look at too, and we are gonna spend the day tomorrow doing so. Free crafts all day from 11-5pm for the kids. Yippee!
And it continues...
I am appreciated!
I got to work last night, and I was starting the shift by going through orders, I usually work as treatment nurse, but occasionally as charge since I came back from maternity leave. The RCM of the skilled wing came up to me, and said "How did we manage to get you back down here?" I was taken aback by the question, and said, "What do you mean?"..."Well, you were down North last time I saw you, boy did we miss you, you do a great job here." I was so shocked to actually hear that from her. She is a newer staff member, and hard to read. But, it really made me feel good. They really want me back full time. These kids have me full time now. Would be nice to hear, "You do a great job!" from my hubby. You know how that goes.
Bedtime Stories
The other night, Drew was ready for bed, and had picked out 3 bedtime stories. All pop up books. One of them 'The Three Little Pigs'. She used to be scared of this book, so after we read it I said, "You used to be so scared of this book, you never let me read it."..."I was?" So, we started talking some more, "What do you think the wolf would say if he came to your door?"..."I don't know."..."Maybe he'd say, 'Little Drew, Little Drew, let me come in'", and she just started freaking out! She refused to sleep in her room, so parked herself on the couch for the night. She is such a 'tough one', but gets so easily scared. I guess we won't be reading that book again for awhile. Heehee.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
My life...chaotic
Today, I swear I was going to go insane with demands from each and every one of the children. Leah is teething, and letting everyone feel her misery. Beau wants to be outside every moment of every day if at all possible, and he knows now how to open doors, and the screen. Drew demands food every 1/2 hour. Grace has an annoying habit of repeating to me everything funny she sees on T.V. (Time to unplug the T.V. again.)
Drew is so obsessed with eating, here is a dream she told me about. She goes, "Mommy, I had a dream you cooked Leah and we ate her 'cause we were all out of food. Mommy, i'm sorry I had that dream." What the heck? The girl even dreams about eating!
I have intentioned to do so, but have not yet had the chance to work on 'flipping' Grace's hair yet. I had the curling iron on and ready today, but she was playing and I got busy with babies, so we never got to it.
I never got to walk Evie today. I was unable to spend time with her at all. I feel so horrible having this little puppy, well, big puppy, and not working with her as much as I need or want to. I wish there were not 24, but 48 hours in one day. Oooooh, could you imagine the things I could do. Well, atleast I can dream.
I am getting so short with people lately, it's so instant, no warning. Mood swings. It's not PMS, I don't menstruate, I'm breastfeeding! So, either I'm just plain crazy, (which my husband will attest to), or I seriously need a vacation from my life. As much as I love these kids, and my work. I need some time away. We have not taken an anniversary trip for almost 3 years. It better happen this coming anniversary. My luck, it won't. We will be stuck in the rutt of things, and have to forgo it once more. Oh, well, they are small only once, for such a short peroid of time.
Well, once again here's Drew with her bedtime routine, "Mommy, is it bedtime?"..."Are you tired Drew?"..."But, is it bedtime?"...you know the rest.
Drew is so obsessed with eating, here is a dream she told me about. She goes, "Mommy, I had a dream you cooked Leah and we ate her 'cause we were all out of food. Mommy, i'm sorry I had that dream." What the heck? The girl even dreams about eating!
I have intentioned to do so, but have not yet had the chance to work on 'flipping' Grace's hair yet. I had the curling iron on and ready today, but she was playing and I got busy with babies, so we never got to it.
I never got to walk Evie today. I was unable to spend time with her at all. I feel so horrible having this little puppy, well, big puppy, and not working with her as much as I need or want to. I wish there were not 24, but 48 hours in one day. Oooooh, could you imagine the things I could do. Well, atleast I can dream.
I am getting so short with people lately, it's so instant, no warning. Mood swings. It's not PMS, I don't menstruate, I'm breastfeeding! So, either I'm just plain crazy, (which my husband will attest to), or I seriously need a vacation from my life. As much as I love these kids, and my work. I need some time away. We have not taken an anniversary trip for almost 3 years. It better happen this coming anniversary. My luck, it won't. We will be stuck in the rutt of things, and have to forgo it once more. Oh, well, they are small only once, for such a short peroid of time.
Well, once again here's Drew with her bedtime routine, "Mommy, is it bedtime?"..."Are you tired Drew?"..."But, is it bedtime?"...you know the rest.
Mid-day thought
I am soooo fat! I am only 28, but I have a belly that hangs to my thighs *exaggeration*, (thanx to all these babies, as beautiful as they may be). I need to lose some weight. I think I need to lose 40 lbs. And, maybe 10 inches...not sure. So much stress lately has lead me to drinking pepsi like it's gonna be off the market tomorrow. I don't eat a whole lot, I just eat the worst things I could choose from. Snack here on a few chips, then eat a chicken salad sandwich on white bread. Grab a pepsi. UGH! I want to run without my butt, and belly jiggling like jello. I want to look in the mirror and NOT see dimples in my skin. I want to wear an itsy bitsy teeny weeny halter strap and thong bikini. Surely won't ever happen even if I did lose 40 lbs., but nice to hope for. I want to be skinny and sexy. There was time when I was only 116 lbs, a size 7 juniors. When I met my husband. Hmmm...9 years ago. Will I ever get there again? Even just 130, a size 9 would feel amazing. I know what to do, but I have a baby hanging off my boobs 24/7, another one begging to eat every hour, a house to clean, a job, so much to do...so on the shelf sit my pilates DVD's, and my 5lb. weights collecting dust. Damn it all!
When it rains, it pours...
OK, last week our new little 'get to work' car had to go in to the shop for repair. Expecting a bill of about 1K. Then, the knob on the washer, which is quite old anyway, broke off, so we have jimmy rigged it to continue working so we don't have to buy a new washer right now. THEN, my blow dryer heat control button broke, it will only work on cool, which means I cannot blow dry my hair. Cheap enough item to replace, but I keep forgetting to go buy one when I'm in town!
This morning I asked my husband to wake me as he left for work since it is virtually impossible to get around, and out of this house before noon unless I get up and shower around 6am. Then, I'm done, and we can go once everyone is fed around 9am. Well, he did come to wake me at 5:30, I was in the middle of feeding Leah, so he asked if he should call me once he got to work and wake me up. I said, NO, after Leah switched to the other booby, I would just get up after she finished with it. Well...I fell asleep again, she never switched boobies, and so I never got up until 8am. So...I am sitting here blogging, with Leah on a boob, I had to let her scream in her crib as I fed everyone, and cleared the sink. She still has not laid down, Beau just laid down for a nap, and I am STILL unshowered. We are not going anywhere, I just hate being in my PJ's for 1/2 a day. I guess I'm just gonna have to start setting the alarm on my cell phone for 6am, wake up to 'bibbidi bobbidi boo', and hope Leah doesn't wake along with me!
Now, re:stepdaughter drama, I think we have come to some sort of understanding. She is not going to be seeing her Mom with my husband present. She is not allowed phone use at this time, unless Gma's call to talk to her. And, she is interacting quite wonderfully with all of us. AMAZING. I am going to take her to the CSD office, and have her sit with either a case worker or a screener, and they will explain to her why she cannot live with her mother, and exactly how many hoops it would take her mother jumping through to even be able to consider taking the issue to court again to regain custody ( since whatever we say she thinks we are lying). They gave me a phone number to a Family Help Line, and I have a # for the Benton Crisis Line, and ofcourse we know the # for the police. If she were to run away again, we've been instructed to call her in as a runaway. Which we should have done before.
OH, Leah finally sleeping so TTFN, gotta get a shower!
This morning I asked my husband to wake me as he left for work since it is virtually impossible to get around, and out of this house before noon unless I get up and shower around 6am. Then, I'm done, and we can go once everyone is fed around 9am. Well, he did come to wake me at 5:30, I was in the middle of feeding Leah, so he asked if he should call me once he got to work and wake me up. I said, NO, after Leah switched to the other booby, I would just get up after she finished with it. Well...I fell asleep again, she never switched boobies, and so I never got up until 8am. So...I am sitting here blogging, with Leah on a boob, I had to let her scream in her crib as I fed everyone, and cleared the sink. She still has not laid down, Beau just laid down for a nap, and I am STILL unshowered. We are not going anywhere, I just hate being in my PJ's for 1/2 a day. I guess I'm just gonna have to start setting the alarm on my cell phone for 6am, wake up to 'bibbidi bobbidi boo', and hope Leah doesn't wake along with me!
Now, re:stepdaughter drama, I think we have come to some sort of understanding. She is not going to be seeing her Mom with my husband present. She is not allowed phone use at this time, unless Gma's call to talk to her. And, she is interacting quite wonderfully with all of us. AMAZING. I am going to take her to the CSD office, and have her sit with either a case worker or a screener, and they will explain to her why she cannot live with her mother, and exactly how many hoops it would take her mother jumping through to even be able to consider taking the issue to court again to regain custody ( since whatever we say she thinks we are lying). They gave me a phone number to a Family Help Line, and I have a # for the Benton Crisis Line, and ofcourse we know the # for the police. If she were to run away again, we've been instructed to call her in as a runaway. Which we should have done before.
OH, Leah finally sleeping so TTFN, gotta get a shower!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Just a day in my life
Today we had to take the pup to the vet, along with my Mom's pup, the sister to ours. Evie was great the ride to my Mom's, then we got Audrey, my Mom's pup, and she had a crate small enough to fit in the back of my minivan, but big enough for both pups, so we put them together. Made the ride easier for my girls, Evie has horribly long nails, and scratches something terrible when she gets on you. The apptmt went well, they trimmed her nails, but said something about her 'quicks' being too long, so she bled more than she should for having her nails trimmed, soooooo I have to take her back 3 more times to trim them back a little at a time until the 'quicks' are the right length. During the vet visit, Grace took Evie in and my sister had Audrey, so I was in the waiting room with the babies, and Drew. Drew colored most of the time. Beau was a wild man, into everything, spinning in circles, throwing crayons, etc. I, luckily, had recently stashed last years Halloween suckers in the diaper bag for situations like this one, and it worked. They sat and sucked on tootsie pops for awhile , until Beau dropped his on the dog/cat hair covered, dog/cat pee (at on time or another) floor, and I had to throw it away. He freaked out! NEVER take candy from a baby! Especially a baby in public. (Not) soon enough, the vet visit was over. There was a lady coming in as we were leaving with an adorable dog named Egypt. I just love that name. She was 9 weeks old, and larger than our Ridgebacks at 11 weeks. I asked how big she would get full grown, and the lady said, "200", that's lbs. btw. I asked what kind of dog, and she said, "bull mastif", never seen one in person before. How would you contain that large of a dog? Must be trained very well. We now have Evie sitting, laying, and shaking hands. It's so cute to see her shake. I took her for a walk tonight, she did well. I need to do it more often, but I just don't get the time.
Leah is sucking the life out of me. All the kids are sucking the life out of me. I am no longer, vicky/wife/nurse/mom, I am just MOOOOOOMMMMYYYYYY! I work so little that I forget to pick up my paycheck. I spend so little time with my husband 1:1 that I haven't kissed him for days at a time. I have to quick scrub up in the shower before a baby wakes, can't shave my legs unless my husband is here to cover for me, since it takes that much longer in the shower. I email while I breastfeed. I do the dishes as the boy eats in the highchair, and Leah sits in her swing next to my feet just 'making sure' mommy is still there. As soon as I sit down to relax in the evening, Drew comes begging for a snack, Grace comes "Mom, did you say Drew could have a snack?", then Leah wakes from her catnap, and Drew comes begging for a book, "Is it bedtime yet?"..."I don't know Drew, are you tired?"..."No, but is it bedtime?"..."If you are tired, then yes, it's bedtime."..."GRAAAAACE, it's bedtime!"..."NO, Drew, you can go to bed if your tired, Grace doesn't have to."..."Oooooooh, but I can't sleep without Grace!"..."MOM, can you pleeeeaaaase read me a book?" So, I go read her a book, we giggle, hug, kiss goodnight, and then I go to sit once again, and here comes Drew, AGAIN! Auuuuuuuggggggghhhh!
Leah is sucking the life out of me. All the kids are sucking the life out of me. I am no longer, vicky/wife/nurse/mom, I am just MOOOOOOMMMMYYYYYY! I work so little that I forget to pick up my paycheck. I spend so little time with my husband 1:1 that I haven't kissed him for days at a time. I have to quick scrub up in the shower before a baby wakes, can't shave my legs unless my husband is here to cover for me, since it takes that much longer in the shower. I email while I breastfeed. I do the dishes as the boy eats in the highchair, and Leah sits in her swing next to my feet just 'making sure' mommy is still there. As soon as I sit down to relax in the evening, Drew comes begging for a snack, Grace comes "Mom, did you say Drew could have a snack?", then Leah wakes from her catnap, and Drew comes begging for a book, "Is it bedtime yet?"..."I don't know Drew, are you tired?"..."No, but is it bedtime?"..."If you are tired, then yes, it's bedtime."..."GRAAAAACE, it's bedtime!"..."NO, Drew, you can go to bed if your tired, Grace doesn't have to."..."Oooooooh, but I can't sleep without Grace!"..."MOM, can you pleeeeaaaase read me a book?" So, I go read her a book, we giggle, hug, kiss goodnight, and then I go to sit once again, and here comes Drew, AGAIN! Auuuuuuuggggggghhhh!
Plot Revealed
That rotten, disobedient stepchild of mine finally revealed to my husband last night (after stating, "I'm NOT gonna change, I'm gonna make you miserable until you let me go live with my mom!" ) , that her and her meth-mom had plotted to make us as miserable as possible to the point that we could not handle any more, and would give her back to her mom. Nice try, but not gonna happen. Actually the opposite, NO MOM VISITS NOW! But, my husband left me a lovely note this morning, says, "Heather can call her mom to say hi." Not when I'm here. So phones are hidden, UNLESS an emergency arises.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Almost forgot in the all the Drama...
Drew finally pierced her ears Saturday! Daddy said, "Better not come home without those ears pierced!" She was so brave, and so proud. I was so shocked that it finally happened, I practically jumped for joy, and shrieked with praise! No more coaxing her into it. It's DONE! She had her gem money, 7.00 saved for a long time now, and we went next door to Claire's where she got to pick out a "piercing prize". They had buy 2 get one free, so she chose 3 packs of earrings, butterflies , ladybugs , turtles , flowers . Don't you just ♥ this age? I do. She also picked out an earring holder, the screen type, shaped like a princess. After that, she bought herself an icee, blue raspberry, ofcourse. Then we went outside the mall to the parking lot, and they had the annual 'Traffic Jam' event. There were 'Bounce 4 Fun' inflatables, and she bought 4 tickets, fifty cents each, so that her and Beau could go on 2 inflatables each. She chose the bounce house , then the slide. It was a blast! Now she can show off her beautiful earrings to everyone she sees!
Sunday, August 21, 2005
On the Brightside...
I packed up the kids today and we went to feed the ducks! That boy is amazing. He just took right to throwing bread to those ducks. He was so excited. I had the video camera all ready to tape, and the stinkin' battery was dead even though I had just charged it a day before! So, I had to resort to just taking pictures. I love taking pictures, but I just wanted my husband to experience his excitement too. After we fed the ducks, the kids and I took a short walk down the paths, and over the little bridge. It was nice. So beautiful today. So HOT too! We found a nice cozy spot to sit, and the girls and I tried to take a photo of us laying down heads together, but the 3 of us do not fit into the camera lens, so it didn't work, boohoo! But, I got some great ones of the kids just rolling in the grass, running up the little hills, and doing cartwheels. Then they played some on the play structures, and we saw a few airplanes fly by. The boy sat on the steps poking bark chips through the holes of the steps. I think all of my kids have done that at his age. This is what I love about my life. This keeps me sane. I just adore them, each one. ♥♥♥♥
Stepdaughter Drama
My husband, as well meaning as he may be, after all that has happened in the past week with Heather, let her go stay the night with her Meth-Addict Mother friday night. They were trying to conjure up the plan to be "together" every weekend, but my husband told her NO, pick 1 night. She threw an absolute tantrum over this 'one night' thing. But, he kept to it. She left friday by 1pm, and my husband got home at 7pm-ish, no sooner did he sit down than her Mom was calling to talk him into letting her go to her BFF's 16th b-day party. Which must have been why she was so upset about not being able to be with her Mom ALL weekend, cause she would have gone anyway, right? So, they sweet talk him into it, and I get the idea he gave in after he got off the phone, and I say, "Too bad she's grounded and can't go, huh?" He goes, "Well, it's her friends 16th Birthday party, and I'm just glad she wasn't asking me to stay another night with her Mom." I looked up at him, jaw dropped to the floor, and said, "Are you kidding me? Just go, get away, don't even talk to me, you KNOW I'm pissed!" and then "If this were Grace, no question, she would not be going AT ALL! She has to earn it. She has to maintain behavior ALL the time, not one day!" So, this spiraled us into another arguement. Which seems to be everytime we are together anymore. And, always over her. So, she went to her friends party, my husband worked graveyard, and she was supposed to be home today. Well, she never called, he called her friends house, told her to call me and let me know what was going on since he was going to work tonight too. I looked at him again..."LET ME KNOW?" He was not up for the fight. "Yes, you are the one that will be here, I have to work." NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "Isn't she STILL grounded?" ..."YES"...mmmmkay, so why is she letting ME know what is going on. Shouldn't it be, oh say, HIM letting HER know what was going to go on? I am, once again, CONFUSED! Soooo, she ofcourse calls me at 7pm, babies awake, all needing me, "I don't have a ride, so I'm gonna go to a movie with my mom, and then she can bring me home after that, the movie starts at 7:30 so I won't be home till after 9:30 so if that's too late for me to come home I'll just stay the night with my Mom." The italics emphasizing, her TELLING me! What? So, I said, "Okay, your still grounded, so due to the situation ( meaning me not gonna load up family to go get her) go to the movie, but then you need to be home!"..."OOOOkay!" hangs up. Then 9pm rolls around, hub at work, and her mom calls from her boyfriends house (hence LIE, "movie with my mom"), I knew what was going on so I was not gonna answer the phone and get into it with her. She left me a message. "This is Shannon, I was told to call YOU, I'm gonna go pick up Heather from the movie (wasn't at movie after-all with her dtr, and license suspended, and NO car insurance BUT still driving), and it's too late to drive all the way out to your house, so she is just gonna stay the night with me or Airielle." OH, really? So, my wonderfully forgiving husband that tries so hard to see the good rather than the bad in both of them, is made a fool! I could have predicted this chain of events, in fact, I did, but he didn't want to hear it. Well, he's gonna hear it now!
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Parenting quabbles
I am having such a hard time with this step-mom stuff. I have 4 kids here that I want to raise to be respectful, responsible, hard working, loving, caring, reliable people. I also have a step-dtr that is sneaking out of our house at night, drinking, smoking pot, probably having sex, and lying every time I turn around. I am confused. She was caught sneaking out, we know she has done it multiple times, and yet my husband let her stay the night with her Meth-Addicted mother last night, and let her go to her friends 16th birthday party tonight, AND is letting her talk on the home phone even though we took away the cell. Hmmm...not my idea of punishment. And, if I say anything, he just ignores me or we argue over who's right. Oh, and to top it off, he keeps referring to my behavior as a teen as grounds to make me back off. My parents were hard asses, and I still rebelled, so what make me think my way is gonna work? Ummmm...letting her do what she wants is the better choice? If my thoughts don't matter, than it seems to me that maybe he should just deal alone. KWIM? Anyway...just a vent.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Oh @#%*, what a day!
Okay, today was my payback for my wonderful yesterday. I was unable to get into the shower till I think 11am. Lunchtime for the boy. He luckily laid down for an early nap, and was sleeping, the 10 year old wanted a friend to come play, so I went to get her after I got around about noon. We pulled up in her friends driveway and my gas light came on, "low fuel", it didn't look that way, but I was worried, so I had to get gas. We got back, the boy was still sleeping, Leah laid down so I started some laundry, fed myself and Drew lunch, started a blackberry cobbler, it was nice I had time...then the boy woke up, and Leah at the same time, threw him in the high chair, got him lunch, fed Leah as he ate. Once they ate, we headed outside for swimming, and things were okay. Then we came back inside about 1 hour later, and the boy soaked wearing a daiper weighing about 20 lbs, pee'd all over the kitchen floor. I got that cleaned up, and was feeding Leah again, then the boy came running to me with foam stickers in his hand from the girls' craft cupboard, so I got up, on my way into the other room he had taken off his diaper, began peeing right on the floor, as I discovered foam stickers all over the kitchen floor. I got the pee cleaned up as Drew helped with picking up the stickers off the floor. We went outside again, played sidewalk chalk. Daddy came home, and we went out back after eating some dinner. The boy and Drew swam again, and then they decided to swing. Drew is a real 'gung ho' kinda kid. She started swinging, they both were, then the boy was ready to stop, he got down, and walked over in front of Drew and she just kept coming even though she saw him there, and kicked him over, he fell flat on his front, bit his lip real good, all while still naked from swimming. I swear. It comes in spurts. This crap isn't supposed to happen when I'm HOME! This sort of chaos is for Jack.
A song for all of my Children...
I hope you Dance
by Leann Womack
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder, You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger, May you NEVER take one single breath for granted, God forbid love ever leave you empty handed...I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, Whenever one door opens I hope one more opens, Promise me that you'll give Faith a fighting chance, and when you get a chance to sit it out or dance, I HOPE YOU DANCE...I HOPE YOU DANCE.
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, Never settle for the path of least resistance, Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin', Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin'...Don't let some hellbent heart leave you bitter, When you come close to sellin' out reconsider, Give the Heaven's above more than just a passing glance, and when you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I HOPE YOU DANCE...I HOPE YOU DANCE, DANCE...I HOPE YOU DANCE...♥♥♥♥♥
My song for Leah
♥Leah Lou, Lou, Lou ♥
♥I love you, you , you♥
♥Yes I do, do, do, Leah Lou!♥
BTW, her name is really Leah Dee, which I still have a hard time saying, my husband picked it!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Those kids...
Today was a wonderful day for me and my children. ♥ I woke up to little Leah talking beside me. Beau woke shortly after that, and came to lay in Daddy's spot and drink his bobby. We watched some Wiggles, and the boy did the motions along with the "Johnny Hammers" song. SO CUTE! And, he ate cinnamon toast, (mmm-mmm) for breakfast, he just loves it! The girls slowly awoke after him. My husband had already put the pup on her cord so I was not forced into a rush to get her out of her crate. Once we got around, I took the girls for haircuts to get ready for school. Drew just got a trim and taper down the back. Grace went for a flippy-do, it's cute, and we are gonna work on 'flipping' it tomorrow. She is getting so big. So beautiful. Her Grandma had it right from the start, "black eyed beauty". WOW, I could not have thought of anything better to describe her. We made a trip to the grocery store after that, dog food, vitamins for the boy, dish washing liquid, batteries...it was a breeze. For once. Grace pushed Leah in the umbrella stroller, I pushed Drew and the boy in the shopping cart with a car on the front. I tell ya, if it weren't for those and the free cookies , I could never grocery shop with the kids ever again! The oldest girls helped make dinner, I got some laundry done, flowers & garden watered, and we played outside. Evie, our pup, was hilarious. She just loves Bubba, she tries so hard to get him to play. He now has ALL of her dog toys in HIS dog house. He steals them. Crazy Rott! Beau and Leah took a bath once we came in, Leah doesn't like a bath much, so she screamed all through it, and Beau, he just waited for her to get out and took over the baby bathtub to wash the dolly Drew left in the tub. Again, TOO CUTE! I must say, it was a good day! ♥
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Full Moon Ahead
I was at work tonight, and Jack called to let me know he could not calm Leah. She was screaming, would not calm down. I told him to put baby anbesol on her gums, so he did, called back an hour later, she was stills screaming and I could hear her, poor baby, and so I offered to call my Mom to see is she could come help him, I COULD NOT JUST LEAVE. But, they were out to dinner, my Mom and Dad. So...I called to tell him just to put her down in her crib, I could not get ahold of my Mom, just let her cry it out I guess. He just goes,"I guess I'm on my own!" Well, mmhmmm, yeah he was. I was at work! What the? Must be a full moon coming cause she is wound up, and so were all the residents at the Manor. He has got to figure out how to handle this stuff!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Just some stuff to blog...
We were all out back tonight with the kids, and dogs. I brought out some treats for the puppy, and was working with her on sitting and laying down, more so on laying down. And, staying off people. Well, Handsome immediately noticed I was handing out treats and started begging me for some to give to Bubba. So, I gave him a few, he would look at them each time for awhile before handing them over to the dogs. I went inside to get him a popscicle and some different treats for the dogs, some beef/cheese ones that look like a giant fruit snack I guess, cause the boy took the one from my hand I was giving him to give Bubba, and the next thing I knew he was handing it back to me, spitting, and whining. HE TRIED TO EAT IT! I had to laugh, for some time he was still getting tiny pieces of it out of his mouth.
For the past few days Drew, my 5 year old has been nothing less than a little demon. The boy walked up to her today, smacked her on the forehead, and her immediate response was to push him in the chest both hands and make him fall straight back hitting his head on the floor! She was sent to her room right off, what am I gonna do with that temper? I hope he gets the strength soon enough to really whack her a good one!
I took Leah with me today to the grocery store, and so many little old ladies and gentleman made a comment on what an utterly beautiful baby she is. I was just amazed, and I will take all the credit, thankyou!♥♥♥
For the past few days Drew, my 5 year old has been nothing less than a little demon. The boy walked up to her today, smacked her on the forehead, and her immediate response was to push him in the chest both hands and make him fall straight back hitting his head on the floor! She was sent to her room right off, what am I gonna do with that temper? I hope he gets the strength soon enough to really whack her a good one!
I took Leah with me today to the grocery store, and so many little old ladies and gentleman made a comment on what an utterly beautiful baby she is. I was just amazed, and I will take all the credit, thankyou!♥♥♥
Monday, August 15, 2005
Late Night
Last night I worked, and got home around 10:30pm, pretty much went straight to bed, and fell asleep by 12pm. My husband woke me, he was on "teenager watch", saying..."'Hey, she's already gone!" I jumped out of bed, the 15 year old had stuffed pillows into her bed making it appear she was asleep, taken out the screen, placed a resin chair outside under her window and climbed out. WHAT THE HELL? I found her purse, dumped it all over the bed, took her 'new' cell phone, she had the old one with her. I locked her window so she couldn't get in if she came back. We sat in the living room trying to figure out what to do. I'm too young for this crap! Give me 5 more years, then I'll be due. I wanted to call the cops and report her a runaway, but my husband said, "NO, let me think." He finally decided to call her cell phone, and see if she would answer. She didn't. Her cell says "Daddy's Cell" when he calls. He left her a message saying, "you got 15 minutes to get home or I'm calling the cops", and hung up. Right away she called back, and said she was just taking a walk, he said, "get home, NOW!", a few minutes later she called again, saying she was on our road, and there she came, walking down our road from the distal end, still claiming only to have taken a walk. Hmmm...Jack was so mad he swatted her butt as she walked in, she lost her balance, fell over, freaked out, stood up to get him back, and he grabbed her made her get in her room , she balled, we all yelled, she threw some things, cried some more...so much drama...proclaimed her hatred for us. Jack said, "You do this after all I've done for you?" She said, "You haven't done anything for me!" I was ready to pounce after that. I won't repeat what was said , it was crazy! 1:00 am, and I'm sure the nieghbors could hear us yelling, it was hard to hold back. He took her cell phone, and just demolished it by throwing it as hard as he could into the bricks on our house. We had to send her with Gma, or Jack was gonna lose it. So, we had counseling today, and she was a punk. "I don't care, I don't want to live there." " I hate it, they don't want me there." And afterward, she said to my husband, "Counseling one day a week isn't gonna fix anything!" He is angry to the point of silence, and you know a man is angry when he can't even say one word. Anyway...we caught her. But, we still don't know what we are gonna do with her. We can't just 'throw her away', she is our responsibility. And we have 4 more to go. I do hope this is the hardest one. Mommy, I'm so sorry I was a terrible teen.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
OMG...the babies both took long naps today, but woke at the SAME time. I had my daughters nerds candy on my desk, and forgot, Beau got to it as I was getting Leah up, and spilled it all over the floor! I started to vaccume it up, but for some reason it wasn't working right, and the nerds just sounded like loose gravel under a car, real loud, and so made the boy run and hide screaming bloody murder, and believe me, that is NOT his usual reaction to the vaccume. He begs me to vaccume, following suit with his little toy lawn mower most of the time. Then soon after the girls got back from the beach with Gma Linda, and Drew was so over-tired that she was a ticking bomb. After Gma Linda left, we started coloring a fuzzy poster of mermaids we got at the coast, all 3 of us together, and Drew started freaking out over the color she was using, I told her to go get her jammies on, which triggered a nervous breakdown...I decided it was bedtime NOW, not later. So, off they went to bed, and Drew continued to ball, throwing things, and practically yanking her blankets off her bed. She wanted a story, well, not unless she calmed down...almost there...she had another outburst...NO BOOK, lights out...I left the room, they kept talking, and I went back in to remind them it was bedtime, no more talking...you would have thought Drew was gonna die, she started balling again, "I missed you so much, I was so 'cited to see you, now everything's changing, I just missed you, and I just want our family, I love you Mommy!" My heart melted and I had to go in and give her a big hug, and kiss, and then she was fine. That girl! She needs so much sleep just to get by, and if she has any "a'venture", she needs twice as much to recover. (Just like her Dad. )
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