Friday, May 30, 2008
I have long awaited putting the pirate bedding on his pirate bed, but as I took that crib apart this morning I felt some unexpected tears welling up.
I started thinking about how many years that crib has been up, ofcourse it has been in the toddler version for some of that time, but that crib has indeed been up in that boys room for nearly 5 years.
I whimpered a bit.
I have NO MORE BABIES!
It crushes me.
It breaks my heart.
I love these kids with all I have in me.
I just can't stand to think that they are all growing so fast.
Especially, my boy, my BEAUtiful Boy. My only son. I just want to hold that new baby boy one more time.
I sure miss that.
He is my treasure. My blessing. My GIFT FROM GOD.
It's all too much for me!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
I am just not as ready as I thought I was.
I truly feel my yard looks like crap. I still have many weeds to deal with, and it is making me so crazy! I just spent over an hour the other night on one small area. I now have our gravel drive in the back, and the front near our ditch left.
I am so anal, I will give you my list of things that I feel necessary to ensure get done BEFORE Sunday at 2pm.
(Keep in mind, I am also working 2 shifts between today and Sunday....and I have 2 tots under my toes demanding this and that inbetween time!)
*Wash Windows~ inside and out!
*Scrub/spray siding clean in specific areas
*Clean porches, hose down driveway
*Mow/Trim Hedges/Finish pulling weeds (D will be helping with this)
*Take a TON of cans to store for return...we haven't done this in forever!
*Clean, move picnic table to yard
*Finish shopping for party....icecream, drinks, balloons, etc.
*Get Beau's twin bed cleaned, set up...break down crib and store where?
*Try to Finish Laundry... A NEVER-ENDING CHORE!
*Set up volleyball net for party (D will do this probably too!)
*Ensure all camera batteries are charged and ready to go!!!
*Trim Drew's hair
It is so overwhelming to look at this, and I have even left out a few 'indoor' prep things that I plan to get done, which are post-pone-able, if need be.
However, I just hate to have families dropping of thier children, and have anything that looks to me like it is not clean, or neat, etc. You never know who will want to step inside.
Although, we do keep up our yard, things still get out of hand, and one can never fully prevent weeds from popping up on 1/2 acre of property. Especially if you yourself are the sole gardener/landscaper/housekeeper...we don't hire out!
Thank the good Lord it's not warm enough for a pool party, as was previously planned. I would be freaking out on a whole 'nother level!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I could not have chosen a better path for myself.
I enjoy helping people, caring for them...immensely!
There are times when it will be passed on to me how difficult a pt. may have been, or seem be.
But, somehow, I almost never seem to experience the negative side of these people.
One night, I was working, and a pt. that is a very elder man, and had been very rude toward many female staff, began grabbing my hand as I was helping him to drink from a cup, as if he were trying to bite me. This would not be a surpise, due to his previous behaviours toward Nurse/CNA's.
I was quite startled, and quickly became very ashamed for having even thought such a thing, since this man simply began to kiss my hand over and over and over. Stating how thankful he was for our care, kindness, and patience.
He even began to say how sorry he was for how he had been behaving, and explain why. He had lost his independence, he was very depressed about this. As is with many pt.'s when they fall, and break a bone. They become, sometimes, completely dependent.
I was able to experience this man's apology. No one else has.
Now, this man is near passing.
He has not shown that side of himself to any other Nurse, or CNA.
I am greatful to have been the one he chose to speak to, and I did indeed pass on his statements of appreciation for our care.
I don't know what it is, or what I may exude, that makes pt.'s different for me than others.
Maybe it is my genuine caring, my effortless kindness. I am not bragging here, but I do perform my work to the best of my ability. I take it very seriously.
I think of my work as holy. I take care of people. Sometimes, very very sick people.
I risk my health at times to do this. But, I LOVE IT. And, I would have it NO other way.
Monday, May 26, 2008
A deep dark funk.
My kids are walking stomachs, begging to eat something every 10 minutes or less.
I hate going to the grocery store. I hate seeing the prices of everything. I won't even buy grapes since they never seem to go below $3.00/lb. Today, they were 3.34/lb.
I was terribly exited to find milk on super low pricing today of $1.69/gallon vs. $2.69, all due to it's shelf date being 5/28, exp. 6/2. I grabbed 2, with how my kids go through it, it will be gone LONG before it can even expire in my house!
Gas is rising insanely, and frequently.
Every time I fill, I want to scream!
In just about 3 weeks time, I have paid, $3.50, $3.60, and just recently $3.74/gallon. That is with my .10 fuel discount at Fred Meyer. Otherwise, each fill would have been .10 higher per gallon.
I have no choice but to drive a minivan. Good thing I do not have a payment on it.
If I lived close enough to work, I would ride my bike, or walk.
With summer coming up so fast, I want to plan fun things for the family. We won't be able to camp soon, but I want to stay at the coast, visit the zoo...etc.
I see us spending long days in the our back yard just to avoid the ever-increasing gas prices.
I have to say, I THINK THIS WHOLE OIL ISSUE IS B**SH*T!
Friday, May 23, 2008
They did great on the drive. Leah slept most of the way, while the boys took turns with a gameboy. No whining...it was so nice! We did get lost a bit, but quickly found our way...
BTW, mapquest sucks!
We did not tell the 3 where we were going, made it a surprise.
They were so excited when we pulled up and they saw airplanes everywhere!
It was amazing!
I took tons of pics, and a volunteer offered to take our pic with the kids.
Definitely an awsome day! Long day, but awsome!
I created a slideshow with some of the best, view it below!
Gotta fall in love with those handsome 'pilots' at the end...we did!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Because D is seriously wanting to plan a trip for our next anniversary to THIS AMAZING PLACE!
I want to be in super sexy swimsuit shape!
Hmmmm....I wonder if thats even possible when you've birthed 4 babies, 2 via cesarian, and have laparoscopic scars left over from gallbladder removal?
It's worth a try!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
So warm, HOT! It was sweltering almost.
I finally gave in and made an appointment to see the doctor. Being that the weekend is upcoming, and I work both days, I wanted to be sure that is I did indeed have a sinus infection or pneumonia that I got some ABO on board. Luckily, lungs are clear, sats are fine.
As a child, I had some asthma, terrible allergies. I was the kid sitting on the bleacher with the wad of tissue, inhaler in one hand, nasal spray in the other, wheezing, red eyes, leaking snot everywhere.
My doctor said, it's probably a good idea to start packing an inhaler around again. So, I gave myself 2 puffs once in the car, and it made me shake terrible. One neg side effect of albuterol.
I also got some Zyrtec at the drug store. So far, it's working. I feel a ton better.
Got a bit of sun today, enjoyed the kids.
I started a 'listening cup' for the little ones. I took some tiny colored wood craft blocks, labeled two cups with thier names, and explained to both of them how to earn 'blocks'. And, that once they filled thier cups, they could pick a prize.
All this to give a bit more incentive to stick by my side in the store.
So, I reminded them today, on our way in to the store that they needed to be extra good, try very hard to earn 5 blocks.
Beau was all about getting those blocks. He listened so well. He was an angel. They needed to potty, and he was being so concience of his behaviour that as we walked toward the potty room, I was saying, "Wow! You are doing a really good job!" He said, "I know. But, can I fart?"
OMHH. I darn near busted up laughing. I held it in well. And, said, "Not until we get to the bathroom." Good enough.
Then, Leah also wanted to try to go potty, and that boy was trying to tell her how to go, she sat there as he stood there saying, "You have to push your tummy like me!" So, next thing I know, she's standing, pushing her belly forward, and grunting...SHE WAS TRYING TO PEE STANDING UP! I told that boy, "She can't pee like you, girls can't stand up. Sissy doesn't have a ding a ling!"
Ding a ling, btw, a term my dear husband uses, and has since that boy was a baby. I just don't think I'm ready to hear my 4yo son say P e n i s. And furthermore, the following 3yo parrot, also saying it.
Then tonight we were out back, kids wanted to play in the sprinkler. It was crazy!
We were out late. Till 7:30.
I just fed them finger food. A huge peanut butter spoon, baby carrots, grapes, and pretzels. Then they had a frozen go-gurt, and some popcorn later on.
Leah pooped in her swimsuit, go figure. All day NO POOP, once swimsuit is on, POOP!
I made her strip down outside, and used the hose to spray her down. It was just nasty!
The boy kept smearing his peanut butter on me, and so I finally took his spoon, and said, "Come here!" He did, like the naive little thing he is, and I smeared a huge glop on his nose. He was confused, and really didn't like it, but hey, it'll teach him to do it to me!
Grace tried pulling me in to her little water balloon fight with her neighbor friend. She started by calling Drew and the little ones over to the fence and sneakily telling them to throw the balloons on me. I heard it, and I said, "If a single balloon touches me, it's GAME ON!"
She stopped, a little while later she and her friend come running with about 5-6 balloons each, and I did the first thing I could, grabbed the kids' sprinkler and started aiming. I still got soaked and mostly from my own self. Ha. I will get her. Mark my word, I WILL GET HER. When she least expects it, I will sneak up on her, and....BAM! Soak her good.
Got atleast a few more projected days of rays. I've got time to plot.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
I may be biased, but I just think that girl has something about her.
She has SO much personality.
I labeled the pic, 'A pensive Leah...'
Soooooo...take a few and go vote for her HERE !
I don't expect her to win, but I would love it if she did!
What Mom wouldn't???
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
A wonderful, happy, joyful day.
I woke up early, made the kids pancakes and scrambled eggs. Woke them up one by one, starting with Drew. She had to be to school early for a field trip, by 8:15 exactly, having me out of the house by 8ish.
I was fine with this. I woke up feeling much better today, than I have in 3 days. I was raring to go! No mishaps delayed us, not even Little Lulu...what a wonderous thing that was!
I dropped Drew off at school, she forget her backpack...the panic attack started in...she started tearing up, near hyperventilating...I had to tell her to calm down, it was a field trip day anyway, and it was NOT a big deal, teacher would understand for today! She literally had to make herself take a few DEEP breathes before she would get out of the van. OMHH, that girl can get so worked up over so little a thing.
Then, being that I had to drop her off early, I decided to go ahead into town for a few much needed groceries. I also had to exchange a sundress I had bought Leah, it was missing a button, and the strap tie was all messed up. I also had to go to Target to get a few sale items such as laundry detergent, kids mouthwash, kids vitamins...you get the jist.
Anyway...Target went fine. I found a few great clearance items! So excited, an airsoft bat, ball, mitt w/ ball, and a few balls for $3 each, got a set for the cousin too! I also found a pair of soccer cleats for Drew for next year for only $4.98!!! I scored, kids were great, that was making the day seem even better...
Then, it all started to crash!
Leah started balling, kept saying, over and over she had an owie on her b u t t. I stripped her to see what she was talking about, and changed her diaper thinking it was bugging her, bunching up or something. Nope, not it. So, she kept patting the front, saying her b u t t hurts. I finally figured out, she needed to pee. She had been dry all night, and still was.
Easy enough, I took her to the dollar store I had stopped at to get some little baseball bases I had seen, only they said, 'No Public Restroom', so I had to carry her all awkward to the grocery store down the way, which had a bathroom, and sat her on it. She REFUSED to go! I knew that was what the problem was, but she threw this helacious tantrum that I'm sure echoed throughout the entire store, and REFUSED TO PEE! How she could hold it in, I do not know!
What the ???
I carried her back to the dollar store, we got our stuff. As I was carrying her out to the van, she stopped crying, but...I quicky realized she pee'd, only, ALL OVER ME!!!! It overflowed to the max down MY SHIRT, and through her entire diaper, pants, and dress, down her legs! I was speechless...
We live out of town, I was NOT driving home to change, and come back to get the rest of what I needed to get at Costco. So, I drove to my parents and got a change of shirt for me, luckily I had gotten Leah a shirt on clearance at Target for $2, which at that point totally 'fit' her. I mean, 'fit', her like, it said, TROUBLE MAKER across the front. I was so sour at this point...
I honestly had so many emotions running through me, I was a wreck.
Why Why Why ME??? Why TODAY?
This has me so upset about how hard it has been to potty train that girl. It makes me want to deny her any more diapers, and make her run around naked till she figures out how gross it is to pee all over HERSELF!
But, I won't do that, I can't do that in this house with the new flooring we have put in. I refuse. So, I guess, in part, this is my doing.
I will take responsibility for it to some degree. But, it truly tells me that she knows. She obviously has some control, or why, how could she hold it in to the point of being painful, and then continue on holding it through sitting on a potty, an me running water to help her go? I just don't understand how she is able to do so.
Anyway...from there, it ALL started to crumble, slowly, but surely.
My bubble of tolerance burst!
They started fighting with eachother, and Leah kept whining, "I just wanna go home Moooooom!"
NO NO NO, I HAD TO MAKE THIS AN 'ALL IN ONE DAY' TRIP! With gas prices going up daily, I cannot make double trips to get what I need when they start acting up!
I took them to the park. I had packed thier little munchlers lunch packs, which they LOVE, they ate very well, and played.
I started to feel yucky, and get tired, they were tired...naps from 2-4pm!
The girls got home, and I went out to weed, I hate it, but it had rained last night, and so it's much easier to pull them when the ground is mostly wet.
I hollered the girls out to help, and they did. Drew loves helping, and the boy ran to get his little wheel barrel, and rake too.
To end on a nice note...As Drew and I finished, we heard a funny noise, and looked up to see a beautiful hummingbird hovering above my new hummingbird feeder D got me for Mother's Day. It saw us, and hovered a bit more, but then quickly darted off. Drew was very intrigued. She said she had never seen one before so close. She smiled so big. It humbled me. The GOOD Lord knew I needed it today!
Now, at nearly 11pm, I have just finished baking the much requested oatmeal/granola bars for the kids, and am off to finish 2 more loads of laundry...
Oh, the life of a Mom!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
I have tried, mind you, so many time this week to get a picture of this mystery bird. Finally, I googled it.
I found this great picture of a Saffron Finch on flickr. I am still on a mission to get my pic.
Seems that it is mostly seen in Hawaii or the tropical areas, so what is it doing here???
*Browsing through my new cam, I found I had gotten a decent pic last night. I cropped it, but you can definitely see the color in the bird!
Also, 3 more reasons why I love my new camera:
Above: Newly blooming Lilac at dusk
Below: My vibrant purple "mexican rose?"
D is out today to get me some Advil, Dayquil, AND Nyquil. If it knocks me out, FINE, as long as I can get some relief! I'm miserable!!! And, its' Mothers Day! Augghhh!
D gave me my Mothers Day gift early, but as usual, it was a yard ornament, decor of some kind. This year instead of flowers, he got me a very nice wrought iron yard stake with a glass accent at the top and 2 arms that curve out to hold a bird feeder, or hanging flower pot. He also got me a hand painted hummingbird feeder. We all love to watch the hummingbirds in the summer time. I still have to fill it with the hummingbird food, and hang it. We have so many stray cats around here, that I'm a bit nervous of hanging it, I'd hate to see a hummingbird caught by a cat.
He is also making me dinner. Something he knows I like! Steak and shrimp. He does a lot of the main cooking anyway since we BBQ A LOT! But, today, I'm doing nothing unless the medicine really kicks in and I feel a bit better by then.
I also presented D with his Father's Day gift, TOO EARLY I KNOW. But, it was on sale, and it was so huge, I could not hide it from him. The only place to hide it was the shop,and he has been in and out of there constantly to clean it, or sort through, and find stuff.
I got him an oversized reclining lawn chair! He loves to sit out in the summer when the kids are swimming. This chair is so nice! It has a little pillow for his head, and a sunshade attached to the top. And, I figured, I could use it when he's NOT home to sun bathe since I plan on getting a siginificant tan this year. Gotta show off my mexi blood a little, tired of being so white. Heehee....I envy you melbamoo! Ofcourse the kids had to try out the chair...
Well, off to do some much needed but dreaded clean up before I have another sneeze, cough, gag attack! D lets the kids eat anything, and everything anywhere in the house, and I NEED to vaccume. No, really, NEED NEED NEED TO VACCUME. I can't stand walking through the house and stepping on cracker/popcorn/cereal crumbs.
Happy Mothers Day!!! Enjoy the sun for me!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
I took her inside, put some campho phenique on it, and grabbed an ice pack, gave her a tsp. of benadryl because it was welling up very quickly!
She sat on the toilet with the ice pack for well over an hour, while that boy stood next to her comforting her, and asking her over and over what kind of bee it was. She agreed with him on every suggested bug. Ha! Poor thing! Today it looks a lot more like it was a wasp, it looks like a bite vs. a little sting. I will be out there spraying everything, and I mean everything today! D*** BEES!
I also got a beautiful shot of my black eyed beauty. She is growing up so fast, and I just cannot believe that in 5 short years, she will be 18! That sure makes me feel EXTRA EXTRA OLD!
Where did the last 13 years go???
Friday, May 09, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
However, he was so cute in explaining to me what was wrong.
He kept saying, "Mom, I got too many bless you's."
Then, outside, we were planting my flower pot, he started sneezing, then said, "Mom, I keep havin' so much bless you's. I can't smell your flowers, or they will give me more bless you's."
I finally gave in tonight, and gave him a small does of benadryl, he's OUT!
I gotta get to bed, it's late, and I am not doing so well waking at 6am to do the elliptical. I feel like a zombie. It's pure torture trying to do that thing in such a drowsy state! But, I gotta get that 20 in, or I'll be feeling really really guilty!
I had a White Velvet Mocha tonight...it tasted like heaven, but I feel like hell for drinking it! Gotta do double time to work it off tomorrow!
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
I found myself half awake, barely able to function, yet still doing the elliptical at the wee hours of 6:30 AM. I have no choice! D's switch to graveyards leaves me unable to use the elliptical at m usual time of 8 or 9 am, and honestly, I have to have that time now. It is becoming so much a part of my routine, I cannot function properly without my 20 minutes!
This had me up and raring to go much earlier than usual.
Made the kids homemade oatmeal with sugar free maple syrup, THEY CHOWED!
Got half my days water in before 9am. Packed little lunches for the tots.
Plan: get my paycheck, go to bank, take kids to park, get groceries before 2pm.
I have to travel to a nearby town to do all this.
Atleast, the grocery store I went to was there, so I figured make a day of it.
I got to work, received a very warm greeting and hug, and they handed me a gift of an insulated lunch bag, the DNS saying, "We really appreciate all you do!". I was like, 'what's going on?'. Unbeknownst to me, it is National Nurse Appreciation Day. I had NO idea! I was thinking, 'Cool, a lunch bag, I need one!' ha. Odd gift, but one that can be used nonetheless. It wasn't until tonight that I discovered it held Dutch Bros. Cash inside! Woohoo! I am no longer drinking the coffee, but I am enjoying an Italian Soda every now and then. I will not let it go to waste!
I was also so thrilled to end my day with a very low budget shopping trip! I had a cart full, and I mean, FULL! A typical $200 shopping trip. Only, no meat. My bill rang up at only $103...this is why I need to shop there more often. I forget how much cheaper it is. I bought a bunch of bulk bin items. Oatmeal, granola, carob chips for baking, muesli, raisins. I even got in the soccer snack for this week, my turn. And, I got many condiments which usually are spendy. I was so proud of myself. Heehee. But, I bagged with paper, and plastic. Sorry eco-ladies. I do recycle though!
I made my whole wheat muffins tonight with the carob chips, YUM! And, I baked them in my new silicon muffin pan, they just POPPED out! (Saving waste on paper cupcake cups!) I'm making the kids some more granola bars tomorrow with the carob. Much better for the kids than chocolate chips, and a wiser choice overall.
On the way out I spotted some cute little plants called 'bat face'. I had to run back in and get 2 for my flower pot. I also got some Heliotrope, and something else that is a bright yellow, it will fill in and creep down. So, reds, purples, and yellow.
I am thorougly POOPED out for the day, got another long one tomorrow, and then again thursday...off to bed I go!
Monday, May 05, 2008
Recieved a nice little package with, may I say, 'generous' Free Trial of Gloves in a Bottle lotion. Just in time for a long work weekend, my hands are cracked to the max...I'll be posting how I like this stuff, so far so good!
That boy went away with my parents to visit cousins, and had a blast. All boys. ALL! Spent his days 'hunting in the forest'. They actually brought back a neighbors deer decoy, proclaiming success! I'll post pics soon...haha!
I missed him, too. I took the little ones for icecream today while the girls were at school, and that boy just looked at me with such an admiring glance all while eating his icecream cone and said, "I love you so much!" Ahhh, I melted...and melted again! I started to well up on that one.
Oh, and, can't forget to say...WE GOT A WII! I am now officially obsessed with Wii Tennis. My arm already hurts like it did back in high school after tennis practice. I've also figured out that I SUCK at playing Guitar Hero. Yah, it's bad. I'll keep trying, but I think this is one game that will be left to D and the girls.
I rented Endless Ocean tonight, just to try it out before I go buy a game I won't like. AND, THIS ONE I DON'T!!! It is really lame. I was so excited to play it, and I was soooo disappointed with how bad it sucked!
Well, D is working NOC, so I am off to watch my chic flick...27 Dresses...
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Got my work out in, NEEDED IT!
Really wanted subway, took kids along, had lunch...
Stopped at a little local nursery to get some perennials for our front beds to help prevent so many weeds from coming up next year, as well as add some color without much effort. I got some blue star lithodora, some hot pink creeping phlox, and purple trailing verbena....ahhh, SPRING!
Then, got home planning on planting flowers, but the day was so nice I ended up vaccuming out my DIRTY van, and washing it, plus had to scrape out some dried frosting that had melting in the back from my gingerbread cake last christmas...EEEWWWWW!
Then, decided the porch really needed sprayed down, which had kids tracking into the house, so I had to also then vaccume and sweep inside.
In the meantime, Drew had place Leah to color in her high chair which coincidentally was placed very close to my newly painted dining room wall. We had a mural of sorts...blue crayon in various sizes of circles and scribbles...THIS PUT ME INTO A RAGE! Thank the good Lord for GOO GONE!
I try to get so much done when it is nice out, and then there is always something that tips me off and prevents me from getting it done...
Not to mention, Leah decided to play with the shampoo this morning, dripping shampoo all over the toilet, floor, counter top and sink!
And, then...she shoved one of that Boys' fish into the DVD player of our small trailer T.V.
This girl is something else today! If it weren't for her innocent, and sweet demeanor I think don't think she'd make it till 4 years old!
*BTW, she's not shielding me off in the picture above, ha...that was taken at the park last night during Drew's soccer practice...she's playing Peek-a-Boo.
Munchlers from The Polkadot Platapus are great for a trip to the park, or zoo, or beach with your tots! I know my little ones would love to have one of thier own....go enter to win!