Monday, December 26, 2011

A Reflection

This year has been a roller coaster for me. No matter how sure you are of people or things, nothing is ever exactly what you think it is.
Marriage is a struggle. A battle of wills. A holy commitment. A security blanket at times. Other times, seemingly a nightmare.
One thing I've found with any relationship we have with anyone in
our lives, is that they change, mature, fall behind, renew, revert, die, etc...
...It's important to figure out which ones are most important, and which ones help you to grow as a person.
I may not have gotten the job I wanted in April, but I was offered the one I really needed in August.
I'm learning to be more patient. I'm learning to be more receiving. More forgiving. More tolerant.
I'm learning from others. Teaching others. Helping others. Loving others. Praising others.
But, I'm also realizing that sometimes the people I put so much trust in & and place high expectations on aren't necessarily deserving of it.
Part of being a Mother, is screening, and being cautious to preserve the safety & innocence of your children. I will never accept that I am wrong in that. I do the best I know is right.
At this point my marriage is exciting again, my children are excelling, my career as a geriatric nurse is fulfilling, my family is loving, I am growing as a person. As a wife, mother, daughter, sister, nurse, friend.
Nothing is ever perfect. But we have to make do with what we have, create what we need from it. Make a decision not to let our lives defeat us. Make the changes necessary to be what we really want to BE.

Monday, November 07, 2011

I am...

Struggling with the convenience of marriage vs. the need for romance.
The feeling of new love.
The feeling of sincere adoration.
The mysteries of the unknown.
The high.
The newness.
The rush.
The crush.
The secrets.
The laughter.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Black Hole

What a crazy past 12 days I have had.
Erratic shifts at work.
I suggested a seperation of My husband & I for 2 weeks...which was resolved with a very deep, emotional conversation.
Yardwork. email that slightly shattered my little world.
The job I have been waiting to get an interview for, has ceased the application process at this time. "It in no way signifies a lack of qualification on your part..." 

I am not going to lie.
I have been struggling in my mind, and soul about how I could feel right leaving the current job that I have, which is primarily elderly care, geriatric, some skilled/post surgical, would care, etc.  But, mostly, the elderly population. 
I love what I do. I feel like I am making a difference every time I go to work, showing them my love, kindness, and compassion. Treating them with respect.
Going from this type of work to a job promoting the health of felons, was a mind struggle.
It was, however, a job change I was willing to make to be more financially stable, provide better health insurance for my large family, and re-enter the work force full time after the past 6 years of being on-call to raise my babies.
It was the lst bit of hope I had left for a 'change'.
I was holding on to it very tightly, and had convinced myself, I was worthy, and that I would make it to the end, and secure this job.

So, Here I am.
In a nasty slump of self pity.
Hoping for a spark.
This just puts me back down into the hole that I thought I was slowly crawling out of.
I hate feeling 'stuck'.
Realizing that, I'm not going ANYWHERE.
There is nowhere to go.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Tantrum in a Tiara

Sweet Leah Dee wore her crown this eve as we playfully spoke in a very poor british accent ( i will admit), handed around miniature red velvet cupcakes, and discussed the Royal Wedding.

She seemed to be rather intrigued by the idea of a real life wedding of a prince & princess.  But, as she ate her mini cupcake, which I kept calling 'tea cakes', she began to frown, and then as she slowly placed the entire cupcake in her mouth, it became a full on tantrum of sorts. She was balling, and the cupcake was barely being held in her teeth.

All I can attribute her behaviour to is lack of sleep, she was probably over tired. 
 In any case, I am going to DVR as much as I can of the wedding, the good stuff, for her to see tomorrow afternoon.
One thing I have always loved is a wedding, and a Royal Wedding is sure to thrill my own little Princess.

You Get What You Get

Fortitude   –noun
mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger, or temptation courageously.

I read a blog yesterday that really clicked for me. It was over at Clover Lane, one of my favorite blogs. Her post was about how a Mother should always possess fortitude.

As well, this repetitive statement my children keep saying to eachother, which the 2 small ones learned from school:

It all got me thinking about how even though there are things I want for Me, that I still need to remember what is most obviously right in front Me & needing Me.  I was so much more content with the idea of not working, as long as I knew my children were cared for, had some semblance of a routine, were where they needed to be, and able to rely on Me to be there. Not some stranger that I was paying to care for them.
The problem is that as they have grown, and are all in school now, it is leaving me with large blocks of free time that make it really hard to justify my not working full time, or even part time regularly.
I have become restless.
But, I do realize I need to take a step back, stop sulking, feeling sorry for myself, and find joy in the current situation that I am in.  I may feel like a taxi driver, and maid.  But, at the end of the day when Lulu wants nothing more than a kiss, hug, and tuck into bed with a story from ME, I want to be there.  I DESIRE TO BE THERE.
They do still need Me, regardless of my need, and desires to begin working outside of the home more.
It's such a hard balance.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


This waiting, waiting, waiting is making me CRAZY!

I am not one that likes to wait, I like things to move quickly, very rapid in succession. I like to be done with what I am doing, working on, waiting for promptly.

I just can't take it much longer!

The fact that I have not worked since last friday is also making things worse. I am home, running kids around, late start, early release, soccer practice, girl's on the run, dance team meetings...doing laundry, cleaning the house over & over, perseverating over the application I turned in Monday...

I need some more effective distraction!

Every other job I applied for hired me on the spot, as I turned in the application, or the next day during an very short interview. I am not used to waiting, worrying, hoping vs. just knowing I will get the job.

Why did I do this to myself?

Monday, April 25, 2011

Ready for Battle

I turned in my application today. Shaking as I walked to the window.
As I was getting ready this morning, I was thinking it over, and over. Analyzing the whole process in my mind. Thinking of all the reasons why I should stand out over others, and why I deserve to be chosen.
Although, I know, regardless of how I feel, I still have to wade through the application process just like anyone else.
However, I passed the test to allow for the application to be filled out, and that makes me feel slightly superior. I mean, not only am I applying for a nursing job. But, a nursing job working with law enforcement. It somehow makes me feel a little bit more special. Especially since the selection process is obviously so much more thorough, and precise.

We shall see what transpires.

No matter what, I know I am worthy of everything I desire.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter 2011

Happy Easter!

I spent the day making a King Arthur braided bread wreath!

Gracie Mae helped me, and it was the biggest fun today. I placed 5 brightly colored eggs in the wreath, and it cooked them to a boiled egg consistency while baking with bread for 45 minutes! It was so cool to see it actually work right. I was impressed. I think I will make it every year. Lulu loved it.

We also had a spiral ham, asparagus from the grill, salad, deviled eggs, fruit salad that Lulu helped to make, and Mom's potato salad.
I tried making some Bird's Nest cookies, but they kids ate the malt candy eggs off, and discarded the rest, so I am guessing it wasn't such a hit. Except I did see D sneaking, and devouring a few.
It rained a ton today, so we waited to hide eggs outside til we had a dry spell. But, what the 'easter bunny' did do was hide some plastic eggs with treats in the house to get the kids started. Then later on, we hid the colored eggs a few times, and on the 3rd round I added in 6 special eggs.

They were allowed to find 2 total each, then let the others find thier own 2. So as to avoid one kid getting 4 of the 6. You see, I filled them with $1-$3. I never do that, but it was a special surprise! 3 were golden, 3 were 'gem' eggs. Leah found 2 gem eggs, Drew found one of each, and the Boy found 2 golden eggs. I gave them the option of trading BEFORE opening, but they chose not to. So, Leah ended up with a toy, candy & $2. Drew made out with candy, and $3. The Boy made out with $5.

This made Drew mad, but they did have the option of trading! Leah was perfectly happy with her pretty gem eggs regardless of the money!

Gracie Mae is too big for finding eggs, she helps Mom hide them now. She was perfectly happy with her chocolate bunny, and Easter Barbie...yes, My Teen still plays with Barbie's!

I bought each of the kids 'colored' bubbles. I will say this...they are BRIGHTLY COLORED, the bubbles leaked all over, the girls were very cautious with using them, but they are supposed to be washable.

We visited with my Parents, ofcourse that including some Wii game play with Grace getting Grandma to play Just Dance 2, Samba De Amigo, and Zumba...but Grandma mostly sat down and watched the girls.

Leah gave Grandma her BAB Bunny, and Beau gave Grandma his Owl...for 'just in case, so we have toys to play with when we stay the night at Grandma's House Mom!"

I think they love Grandma & Grandpa so much they would give them ALL thier Build a Bears if they asked!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

A New Fork in the Road

I am now filling out the application. 14 pages, but only 13 pages to fill out, 1 page of instructions.

As I fill out the sections, page by page, I am feeling so proud of who I have become.

If I hadn't made the choices I made years ago to correct the wrong I had gotten myself into, I would not be able to apply for the job that I am today.

I wouldn't be able to climb the ladders, prove myself, prove TO myself that I am worth every moment of the time they are spending on pursuing me for this job.

I feel very satisfied with the path I chose.

I am also making my children proud of thier Mother, showing them that even I can continue to make changes, and pursue new avenues. Showing them that they can one day do the same. That just because you made one terrible mistake or two, it doesn't mean that you have to give up. It doesn't mean your life is over, and it certainly doesn't mean you aren't worthy of what you WANT.

I am going to do all I can to show them that they are worth everything, and anything they desire in life. That they are never stuck, and should never settle for the lesser options out of fear of failure, or an assumed feeling of defeat.

If I can become who I am, after what I did, then certainly, so can every single one of my children achieve even more than I have.


I started the test at 10am, and I was finished by 11:30am.

I was told if I do not recieve a call today, I am to complete the 14 pg. application and turn it in by Monday.

So, it is nearly 1pm, and I have not yet recieved a call. Is it safe to say I should be planning on filling out the application? Hmmm, I think I am gonna give it til 4pm max before I get too excited. I recieved the call last time around by 12:45pm, so I am probably safe, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

I fall hard.

There were 4 sections to this law enforcement standardized test. They give this test to the deputies as well. Each section is timed 15, 20, or 25 minutes.

For the last section, punctuation, grammar...He gave this instruction: K.I.S.S.- Keep It Simple Stupid.

He said that many testers tend to fail it even though the basic idea is to create a proper sentence from questions about the information in a police report. He said that some people either give a short answer NOT in sentence form, or end up writing a near paragraph. I found that humorous. I mean, we are talking about Men & Women going into law enforcement primarily. Not Nurses. They also say that Nurses tend to do better on the test overall, than Deputies. Now, that really makes me giggle. Kinda sad, actually.

I didn't struggle, but, I did take the max time for the 1st section, Math.

Not because I am stupid, but I wanted to be sure I was correct, and complete. The next few sections were 'cake'!

In fact, I finished all the following 3 sections, many minutes before the other 2 testing nurses.

I was 1 of 3 today.

Last time I was 1 of 5.

So, My odds are greater, and my confidence was higher. I feel good.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Test

Tomorrow I test again for a new Job that I had applied for over a month ago. It is a standardized test for a county/city job as a Jail Nurse. I wasn't sure at first if I really wanted to try again, since I had come to terms with the fact that I hadn't done well the first time around, and adjusted to the idea that it wasn't meant for me.

But, the benefits are amazing, and if I do pass this time, then atleast I have a chance. It would be better for my family, and I would be able to finally start back to working full time. I haven't worked full time since I had the babies, but the babies are 6 & 7 now. Not babies anymore!

So, today I found a nice new shirt to wear to make me feel more confident, and I plan to get some good rest tonight, so that I am up to my best tomorrow morning. I am nervous, I won't lie. But, I know I am good enough, I know I deserve this 2nd chance, and I hope to prove to myself that I can pass this test!


I am a Mother.

I put this on the top of my list of priorities, but I am also a Wife.

I have needs, and I have been feeling extremely neglected lately. I want to sit, and chat, talk about the day, the kids, and what is happening in the next few days, remind my Husband about events coming up, when kids need picked up/dropped off.

Simple Married/Parental communication.

I am not getting it.

HE isn't getting it, that I NEED this.

I spend all day reminding kids, and myself about the days events. I am constantly thinking about what is next, who needs what, when, what time. When I finally get some time in the evening to stop, and sit to relax, I want to have some more adult conversation.

But, all D wants to do is watch t.v.

Last night, I tried to stimulate some conversation while he was watching t.v. He got up, walked over to the remote, muted the T.V. and said..."What, NOW?" Like, I had been interrupting something horridly important for hours!

I got up, and walked out. Forget that. I don't need that type of reaction.

Today, I ran errands, got him some Healthy frozen dinners for his next two days night shifts, and salads to take. Bought a couple pizza's, one of his favorites to bake for dinner before he left for work.

When I got home I had to preheat the oven, so I did that, and planned to run to get the Boy from school in the meantime, then put the pizza in the oven for D when I got home, before he woke up.

But, He woke up as I was leaving, so I thought I would explain why the oven was on so He wouldn't turn it off while I was getting the Boy.

He snapped at me, started slamming cupboards, yelling how I can't just slam him with a list of chores as soon as he wakes up.

Well, if he would have LISTENED, he would have understood that THAT was NOT what I was doing.

It's bullshit. So, I wasn't able to tell him I had gotten him frozen dinners, and salads to take to work, or that I was baking his pizza first for him to eat before he left. Nope.

He left with a huge slam of the door, like a big fat baby throwing a tantrum, telling ME I need help?

See ya Jack!

I need to find more things in my life to entertain me outside of being a Mother, so my mission is to find something for ME this year. Marriage is not enough to keep me content.

Monday, April 18, 2011

My Baby is 6!

Lovely Leah is 6 years old.
I just can't believe how time has flown by! I distinctly remember her tiny little body army crawling across the floor, and her tiny little hands making gummy bears talk to eachother on her high chair tray. It just doesn't seem as if it could possibly be so long ago!

I made her a Barbie Cake. She wanted a pretty princess cake, and so I made my first doll cake.

She loved it!

It was so fun to put such a big smile on her face. I love my Lulu.

Then, last week I noticed she had a tooth coming in behind one of her bottom baby teeth, and it had broken the gum. The baby tooth in front of it was really loose, so I enlisted the help of Daddy to pop it loose so I could finish the job. She cried so hard, mostly over the blood she kept peeking at on the napkin. But, soon enough she was over it, and excited to move on to the 'tooth fairy' coming with money.

Big Brother Beau, however was very upset by the fact that he is older, and he hasn't lost a tooth yet. He was even more upset when he realized the tooth fairy wasn't coming for him, only Leah. These 2 are so close, and have always been so, it's funny to see them get jealous of the other, all over a lost tooth, or lack there of. Soon enough it will be his turn.

For now, Little Lulu is definitely showing me that she is growing up! It kinda makes me sad. But, I am enjoying the school age years with the both of them too. I just really miss my babies.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Happy Snow Day!

The snow looked like mountains of cotton candy, and felt like I was stepping on a path of fine powder.
It's already melting at 11:32am.
Small ones made snow angels, slide down a snow covered slide, and jumped on the trampoline with 4 inches of snow bouncing back up at them.
The first snow is always a beautiful sight.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Let Down...

Well, I gave it a go. I did try. I messed up. I made a mistake. And it cost me.

Either this is some sick joke, or God is simply telling me..."Not now."

I have put my children first for nearly 6 long years. Put my career on the side, working a little here and there. Getting nowhere.

I can't say that I am completely let down, I guess I just placed the value of myself so much higher than I should have. I have a tendency to do that. Aim High, Shoot Low.

Whatever the case, what's meant to be will always find a way.

It's just so hard to finally open your mind to something new, a new idea & desire...only to have the opportunity slip through your fingers.

Maybe what this really means, is that I am where I need to be. I do something that I love, and I think that it shows through. I've often wondered who would take my place if I were to leave. Who would do what I do, care like I care, love like I love.

I'll figure it out.

Lulu is my Ferris Bueller

Man watches the news, and weather every day. Where as I tend to go on what it looks like outside. And, this week, the talk has been all about snow.
Ofcourse the smalls ones pick up on the snow talk.
For that matter, ALL the kids always pick up on snow talk!

So, this morning the Boy and Lulu were discussing that this was a snow day. Lulu asssumed that since there was supposedly going to be snow at some point today, well then, she should have a snow day THIS MORNING.

When I explained to her that this simply wasn't how it worked, not the case, she wasn't at all happy.

She was deeply involved with playing Barbie's, and requesting Wheat Thins at 8am.

So, as I was rounding up back packs, lunches, and telling them to get socks on, Lulu decided she had a tummy ache. Because her tummy needed wheat thins. But, I don't just give them snacks in the morning. So, she kept doubling over, like she was in extreme pain, whining, and I told her to eat a banana.
She kept on complaining, so I gave her some kids pepto.
You see, I knew she wasn't really sick. She was playing sick to get to stay home and have snacks, watch TV without her brother, and sisters interfering, and play dolls.
I let her know, that if she was sick, she would not be playing dolls, or eating snacks, she would be in bed resting like sicks kids should.

I took the Boy to school, go home, and Lulu is lying on the couch watching a cartoon. After about 10 minutes she asked for Wheat Thins. I said, "NO, you are sick remember?" She waited about 5 more minutes before she asked, "Are oranges healthy?" I said, "Yes, but remember, you are sick. You just had medicine. You don't get a snack right now."

She is not starved. She had a full bowl of cereal, snuck wheat thins when I took Grace to late start, then ate a whole banana.
She is simply pulling one over on me. Or atleast, thinks she is. I'm a weathered Momma. I know when my kids are sick vs. just faking it.

Lulu is faking it. She is my Ferris Bueller today.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Cake Pop Love & Valentine Suitors

We are finishing up Valentine's this afternoon, and I just love the ones that the Boy chose to make. Ofcourse, He needs Mommy's help, but they are just so stinkin' cute!
I bought cheap playing cards from the $ store, pipe cleaners (one full one cuts up to make 4 pieces perfect for one suitor), a bag of suckers, red construction paper cute into 29 tiny hearts using a tiny heart cookie cutter for the stencil, and tiny google eyes. A glue stick to stick the heart onto the card, and tacky glue (brand specific) to glue the google eyes on, and they stay on well with tacky glue. You'll also need a hole punch for the arm and leg holes.
It goes rather quickly once everything is prepared.

And, today was Lulu's Special K treat day. This entire week was her Special K week, when she is in the spotlight with pictures of her from baby-hood til now, and special events like our trip to Disney, pics of her with Tinkerbell, Mary Poppins, and Minnie Mouse, which were her favorite, were all posted on the cork board all week, and she got to talk about her favorite things to eat, do, favorite book, toy, etc. Then today she got to bring a treat for everyone that she chose.

So, here are is a picture of her with one of the cake pops we made yesterday. Her face was lit up with excitement, and all of the children loved them! A few of the girls came up to me and said, "You make the best treats ever!" One little girl said, "You and my Mom make the best treats!" It made all the mess worthwhile!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

My Cake Pop Venture

Today I played around with making some cake pops and cake balls. I love to make things and when I saw Bakerella's CAKE POPS book, I had to have it! I love all the adorable things she makes.

As with anything, practice makes perfect, and I definitely need a lot more practice.

Today my goal was to make some heart shaped cake pops for Lulu's Special K treat day tomorrow. The book says..."Give yourself plenty of time...about 1 hour"...HA!

Try 8 hours. Atleast.
Here's what really happened...
I baked a cake at 10 am. It cooled while I picked up Lulu from school & made a grocery run.
When I got home about 1:30pm, I crumbled the cake and added the frosting, then made my 'balls'. I put them all in the refridgerator for a few hours. One thing I did not anticipate, was the lack of space in my freezer for the stated 15 minutes I need to place the balls to firm up.
So, after a few hours, I took some out, I had to make 18 hearts. I used my smallest heart cookie cutter to mold them, then I put them back in the fridge for another hour or more.
I had 6 candy melt colors. It took forever to get all of them melted, so I had to enlist the help of my Big Girl to melt them as I dipped each pop to keep things moving before the candy melt hardened again. It was a nightmare!
Candy dripped everywhere, and it's not so easy to clean up. And the 6 plastic bowls I used for the melts are still at this moment coated with hardened candy melt. I give up. That's gonna wait for tomorrow.

Each time I dipped a heart on a pop into the candy melt, it nearly fell off, or broke in half from the weight of the melt on it as I pulled it out, or it kept dripping and dripping, taking up so much time per pop.
So, I did my best, made 18 (sloppy in MY eyes) heart cake pops for Lulu's class, and used the remaining balls to dip as quickly as I could to just simply make cake balls instead of cake pops.
Lulu put the hearts on top as I sat them on the wax paper.

The Wilton Cake Pop stand I purchased for a few dollars, well, it was a nightmare too. The holes the sticks are supposed to stick in as they dry are so hard to push the stick thru, a few pops hit eachother causing ugly bumps, and/or one to tip over.

So, I would still recommend buying Bakerella's book. I love her, and I love making cute edible things for my Lulu!

Just be sure you have a full day to play!


Okay, so in so many ways I had never planned on changing jobs. I have been completely content with the type of nursing I do, working with geriatric/alzheimers/post surgical patients. I love seeing a smile on an alzheimer's patients face when you tell them Hello and give them a hug. Just loving them the way they are.

However, I have been struggling lately with the idea of increasing my hours, and how that would effect my children, and family. I have been juggling ideas in my head of using some of my hobbies to create some cash flow, and fill some of my free time that I have now that my children are all in school 5 days a week.

So, last week, I received a message requesting my interest in a nursing job that is full time. After running the hours, how it would work with small ones, and my husband work schedule, etc...I decided it may work and I went for a tour, then applied on the spot.

I have been so anxious waiting for the call. THE CALL! Waiting for the call was making me nuts! I finally got it!
I have an appointment to go in for initial testing next Wednesday A.M. By no means does this mean I have the job, but it's a start.

My Sister is helping me get my resume ready, and I have wonderful references. I am so blessed to have the support that I do at this time in my life. I truly have some of the most amazing people working with me that are willing to help me even if it means they hate to see me go, they understand a change is necessary.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Multi-Talented Momma?

I can bake.
I can create.
I can sew.
I can write.
I can photograph.

But, I'm a Nurse...A Mother...A Wife.

I can't stop being a Mother, or Wife.
I don't want to stop being a Nurse.

However, My hours for nursing are so irregular, and unreliable lately.
I am seriously considering making something of one of my hobbies, talents.

I think often times I don't give myself enough credit. Then, when I see things other people do, create, or sell to make a living...I think to myself...WHY WHY WHY didn't I think of that!???

I have sewn since I was 8 years old.
I have baked with my Mother since I was in Middle School.
I have loved photography, and worked on learning more and more since I was in 7th grade.
I excelled in creative writing courses through out High School, and once wrote a simple Childrens Book for my own Daughter while taking a childrens book course thru snail mail.
I can do just about anything I desire!

I don't want to stop being a Nurse. I love my Job.
But, it's not enough for me right now.
My babies are gone. I have school age children now.

I have got to figure something out for myself, and my family that I can do to fill my time, and create extra funds.

I just have to make myself MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Content, No Regret

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
— Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)

Today is my Birthday. I am 34.
I always try to think back at the past year, what I accomplished, and what I didn't quite get to that I wish I would have, or possibly should have.
Some struggles have presented to me this past year, and I like to think I handle them the best way I know how.
I am not perfect, but I do my best to do the right thing.

One thing I know this very day is that I am loved.

There are days I wonder, and days I doubt. But, today it has been made very clear.

My Children love me, regardless of discipline.
My Husband loves me, regardless of disagreements.
My Parents love me, regardless of my past.
I love Me, regardless of my imperfections and shortcomings...and that's important too.

When someone askes you if you are satisfied with your life, what do you say?
I say, YES. Absolutely.
It's not ideal, and it's definitely not easy.
But, I love my Children with all my heart. I would never regret my life.
However, I will constantly seek new & better ways to do things, and I will also continue to push myself to do those things that I may find too difficult, or challenging. Nothing is impossible. And, I am no fan of those 3 words...I GIVE UP.
I never have.

"So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed)..."
— Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Happy Birthday to my Handsome One!

The Boy has turned 7 years old!

I worked very hard to make him a unique cake this year. On my own, no help, and from scratch. I used fondant, edible cake markers, spray and lustre dust. I made Him his Rainbow Trout cake!
I was so proud of myself. I know I know, get off that cloud, but really, I accomplished something that I really truly thought I would mess up.

It took me 2 hours of baking, 2 hours of decorating. I just love how it turned out!

Cake I come!

Trick Sparkler Candles
He chose a Swimming Party at a local indoor pool.
Most of the kids he invited came, which thrilled him.
His most treasured gift is the RC Boat I had gotten him. We took it out today to practice driving it around the lake, which started out rather terribly. I hadn't had time to tell him to turn it on before he ran down the bank and put the boat in the water, OFF, and gave it a push. Before I could get close enough it had floated out halftway into the small of the lake. I was speechless & helpless!
We waited for the wind to blow it slowly to the opposite edge, so that I could reach in with a twig and pull it back to me. It took awhile, but once we got it back, I explained he had to make sure it was on before he put it in the water.
He drove it for quite awhile, and said it was 'the best present ever!' I just adore that Boy!

Thursday, January 13, 2011


Drew received an alarm clock for Christmas, with rainbow digital light up numbers, but no music, just one annoying sound. She had been upset with Me for not waking her every morning at 7am. So, when she got the alarm clock, I showed her how to set it and she decided she must get up everyday at 0645. This is the time I get up to make lunches on a usual morning roughly.
I get up this morning, and I have noticed a few mornings this week as well...her alarm is sounding loudly, but NO Drew arises.
I make lunches, the small ones breakfast and at 0740 I realize I still don't hear Drew rustling around, no shower running...
I should have woken her up, like a 'nice' Mother would, but I want her to learn to be responsible. Part of that is getting up on time, and leaving for the bus on time. She wants more freedom, and trust, afterall, as she told me last night..."I'm getting bigger MOOOOOOOM!"
At 0750 I finally hear the shower running, and a rushed Drew rustling in the bathroom.
She usually leaves for the bus about 0810, but at 0811 she is still drying her hair as the neighbor girls knocks on the door to get her, as they walk together to the bus stop.
Drew opens the door to tell her she isn't ready yet. She runs through the hallway gathering her things, never quite made it to the kitchen for breakfast. She should be greatful I don't make her make her own lunch!

She also received a watch in her stocking for Christmas, to show some personal responsibility as well with being home on time when she has been given a time to come home from a friends house, or outing to the school park with friends.
When I was gone one evening, D let her go to the park with a friend, NO watch, near dark. I get home to find it's dark, raining, and Drew is not home, she's at the park! I was livid with D. So he got in his car and drove to find her. Where's her Cell Phone some might ask...well, I don't believe a 10 yo girl needs one. She needs to be responsible by watching the time, weather, and be aware of the approaching darkness, calculating the time it would take to get home before dark. She needs to think. BE RESPONSIBLE.

Also, she recieved an MP3 player. I am perfectly fine with loading music onto it for her, as I will not allow her freedom of use of a computer either.
However, to load music it has to be from a CD for an MP3. She insists on waiting until 7 or 7:30pm to ask, "Mom, can you get on itunes and put music on my MP3 player?" ....AFTER she has spent the entire afternoon playing, or doing schoolwork or projects with friends. Her bedtime is 8:30pm, and the small ones need put to bed by 8pm, I have no time to play with itunes buying music, and making a CD to then load to her MP3 at that time. She has asked this 3 evenings in a row, and even waited until last night at 7:30-8pm to ask me to make an entire scrapbook calendar with her, throwing a near tantrum when told NO.

I realize this is part of Her growing up, learning, testing, and a lot to do with Hormones. But, come on already...Her stubbornness is getting old. I can't stand the attitude. She is such a challenge for me right now. I need a vacation...if only from this ONE child of mine!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Milkshake Cupakes!

Bakerella's Milkshake Cupcakes are so stinkin' adorable! I just cannot let the image go from my mind. Idea's on how to use them are flowing through me like crazy! Valentine's Day, Birthday's, Summer Parties!
As many of those how know me, know I WILL find a way to make them work in something I do!
I am thinking....
Lulu's 6th Birthday Party
Icecream Parlor (if I can find one...)
50's theme, Poodle skirts and saddle shoes.
Lots of PINK
...and ofcourse, MILKSHAKE CUPCAKES!
Omg...I just can't wait to make them!

Friday, January 07, 2011

Pamela Topping Photography Giveaway~Rockstar Actions!

I love giveaways! I love Photography! I love Photo Editing!

Pamela Topping Photography Blog is having a giveway for the New Year of her new Rockstar PSE Actions!
What could be more fabulous?!
Go check it out!

Thursday, January 06, 2011

There ain't nothin' Glamorous about My Morning...

I now have 4 kids in school 5 days a week. 3 lunches to pack, 4 breakfasts to make, 3 alarms that go off.
I rise at 6:40am to get the first girl off to the bus, with lunch in hand. I then make the other 2 lunches while I wait for the other 3 to wake up.
I get breakfast ready 1 by 1 as they arrive groggy, with squinted eyes to the breakfast bar.
Lulu always needs me to get out her clothes for her, exclaiming, "...but I don't know what to wear!" She's just lazy. She's the baby. Mommie's Baby.
The 2 smalls like to watch a cartoon or 2 while I get Drew off to school, ensuring she has a jacket of some shape or form on her body in this freezing 30-something degree weather. This girl will skip out the door in a sweatshirt with wet hair.
About 8:20 the smalls have to get dressed, brush thier teeth, hair, gather back packs, homework, library books, etc.
Long ago I gave up trying to get myself around, so I'm lucky if it's not such a terrible bed head day. I grab a cup of coffee to warm my hands as I slip on my boots, scarf, and jacket.
The smalls get dropped of around 8:45, and I make my way home to sit, relax cuddled up in a blanket with my coffee, and a book or the laptop.
But...Lets not forget the morning storm of 4 kids in 1 bathroom that I clean up daily. 2 blankets sprawled on the couch with 2 stuffed animals nearby, 3 empty cereal bowls, 3 piles of PJ's, 2 wet towels, 1 tootpaste smeared sink & countertop, 1 unflushed toilet, 1 empty roll of toilet paper, and 3 unmade beds.
As much as I hate to do this everyday, it's my routine, and one day, they will all be grown & gone. No more beds to make, PJ's to pick up, or toothpaste to scrub off the counter.
For now, I'll just enjoy the quiet during which I do the clean up.

Monday, January 03, 2011


I'm in a slump.
It's cold, and I don't like the cold.
Not one bit.
I love the Sun. And, I need it badly right about now.

But, for the time being, I'm snuggled up on the couch, by my still standing, and lit up Christmas tree, reading EAT PRAY LOVE.

I love this book. I really LOVE LOVE LOVE this book.
It inspires me. Ignites a fire within.
Makes me think more about what I want out of life.
Where I want to go. What I want to see and do.
If you haven't really should, read THIS book.
By Christmas light, or Fire light, or simply by a teeny tiny Book light...just read it. With your snuggie on, and a cup of cocoa. Read it.
It will stir the passion inside you.