
I have been thinking lately about how proud I am of my girls. I don't get a lot of time with them, but we have been listening to music together, giggling, talking on the couch, watching movies.
I am so impressed by my oldest, Grace. She has such a strong sense of self. She has the perfect amount of self esteem. She is not prideful, she is not conceited, she just is. She knows what she likes, wants, believes, and stands strong. She voices what is wrong, she expresses her dismay. I love this. It is very important for a girl to have this strength. So many things can jump in to interupt your being, your comfort. I hope she carries this with her, and does not allow for anyone to take it from her.
As a teen, I don't think I was very strong. I know I wasn't. I may have had some confidence, but I was not strong. I let everything get to me, and became so emotional over everything that happened. Every comment made to me by a classmate, or 'friend, or 'boyfriend' traumatized me. I also held too tight to those that I really shouldn't have, becoming a follower.
Many things happened to me in my late teens, early 20's that strengthened me. One of them was having my Grace.
I am a much different person now than I was back then. I am very direct. I will tell a person what I think, and feel. It is not worth it to be silent, and stand back, and just allow something you do not like to happen.
I had a boyfriend at the age of 14/15. He was very quiet. Nice, but strangely quiet. I was too. We took many walks together, held hands, went swimming. I was so young. I really 'liked' this boy. But, something happened. I started to cling, and he became mean. Angry. To this day I do not know what I did, if anything, to cause it. But, one day, he just up and kicked me in the shin, HARD, with his soccer cleat. This memory is clear as day. I had many feelings.
I was shocked...surprised...
confused...hurt...
ANGRY! But, I did not
express my anger, and I wish
so badly I had. This is where I know my dtr is stronger than I ever was. If it were her tomorrow that this happened to, she would get up and kick that boy right back!
YES! I am not promoting fighting, but if someone is going to intentionally harm my child, my DAUGHTER, then they better be prepared for a return of the favor.
I speak with my dtr routinetly about how she should expect to be treated. From a girlfriend, or a boy, or a teacher. She knows what is acceptable. She also knows how she should treat others. She comes home and tells me little things that occur, and yesterday some girl was just being mean to her she said,
"She threw a ball right at my back, when I was on her team, and then, she called me a 'B'! And, I said to her, 'What did you say to me?', and she said it again!" Needless to say, I was enraged. I wanted the name of this girl, and I right probable would have been knocking on her doorstep. But, my dtr is all about,
'Mom, I don't want you to do anything, this is my battle, I don't want you taking over!' Okay, but to a point. If it doesn't resolve with her choice of dealing, then I will surely intervene. Although, I feel confident she will deal with it in the way that suits her.
What about you Mom's out there? Would you stand back, or step in?