So, I came across this book in a magazine called Sh*t My Kids Ruined. Which got me thinking about all the hideous destructive, humorous & enraging things my 4 kids have managed to do over the past 15 years.
Let's see...we've had the lego in the nasal passageway, the tiny gem in the nasal passageway, and lets not forget the light bright pegs. Why does everything go UP the nose?
~A swallowed penny.
~The crayon mural on the textured wall in black, neon green & red.
~Eucerine cream head to toe, in the hair, on the eyelids, eyebrows, and impossible to wipe off!
~Blue marker head to toe...so THAT was why Drew was so quiet in the back seat @ 2yo.
~Blue's Clue's applesauce, add a little milk to overflow the cup, turns into blue milk. When spilled on ivory carpet creates a forever blue carpet stain! I really raged on that one.
~Purple grape soda spilled onto light blue carpet...thank god for Oxi Clean by that time!
~A very collectible TinkerBell cookie jar dropped on the kitchen floor & shattered into a million tiny pieces by one 2yo Boy looking for a cookie!
~Black crayon ran down the entire length of the ivory hallway wall.
~Red & Green gummy bear goo stuck to biege carpet fibers...fairly NEW carpet too.
~Green Glitter Glue explosion onto the kitchen cabinets.
~Overflowed poopy toilet through the entire bathroom.
~Ofcourse, the occassional random poop in the tub.
~Potty training, poop on living room carpet...::gag::
~Half eaten lipsticks by small girls.
~Red Sharpy drawings to unfinished oak wood shelving.
~Broken keys in locks.
~Broken car door handles.
~Spilled RED icee in the car...Lulu fell asleep with icee in hand.
~A web of abc gum in the back seat.
~ABC gum filled in power outlet in backseat of van.
~3 girls at different stages with gum in hair...No, ice does NOT get it out.
~Dents in car from bow & arrow practice by Boy.
~Baby slobber filled cell phone, ruined screen.
~TV remote buttons somehow disappear right off the remotes!
Let's see...we've had the lego in the nasal passageway, the tiny gem in the nasal passageway, and lets not forget the light bright pegs. Why does everything go UP the nose?
~A swallowed penny.
~The crayon mural on the textured wall in black, neon green & red.
~Eucerine cream head to toe, in the hair, on the eyelids, eyebrows, and impossible to wipe off!
~Blue marker head to toe...so THAT was why Drew was so quiet in the back seat @ 2yo.
~Blue's Clue's applesauce, add a little milk to overflow the cup, turns into blue milk. When spilled on ivory carpet creates a forever blue carpet stain! I really raged on that one.
~Purple grape soda spilled onto light blue carpet...thank god for Oxi Clean by that time!
~A very collectible TinkerBell cookie jar dropped on the kitchen floor & shattered into a million tiny pieces by one 2yo Boy looking for a cookie!
~Black crayon ran down the entire length of the ivory hallway wall.
~Red & Green gummy bear goo stuck to biege carpet fibers...fairly NEW carpet too.
~Green Glitter Glue explosion onto the kitchen cabinets.
~Overflowed poopy toilet through the entire bathroom.
~Ofcourse, the occassional random poop in the tub.
~Potty training, poop on living room carpet...::gag::
~Half eaten lipsticks by small girls.
~Red Sharpy drawings to unfinished oak wood shelving.
~Broken keys in locks.
~Broken car door handles.
~Spilled RED icee in the car...Lulu fell asleep with icee in hand.
~A web of abc gum in the back seat.
~ABC gum filled in power outlet in backseat of van.
~3 girls at different stages with gum in hair...No, ice does NOT get it out.
~Dents in car from bow & arrow practice by Boy.
~Baby slobber filled cell phone, ruined screen.
~TV remote buttons somehow disappear right off the remotes!
~Projectile vomit on My queen size down comforter (needless to say, that was tossed out, no washing option)
~OODP...Leah, @ a few months of age, had the most horrendous out-of-diaper-poop (OODP) while @ the library, on my lap, baby poop running down my leg as I try to carry baby, and direct 1 yo out of library to car, also attempting to hide the poop, cuz I had no change of clothes for baby or Mommy.
~OODP...Leah, @ a few months of age, had the most horrendous out-of-diaper-poop (OODP) while @ the library, on my lap, baby poop running down my leg as I try to carry baby, and direct 1 yo out of library to car, also attempting to hide the poop, cuz I had no change of clothes for baby or Mommy.
~Red Lipstick left in a jeans pocket, ran thru washer/dryer, leaving red blotched stains on every pair of jeans!
I'm losing memory @ this point, but I'm sure there's many more. Never a dull moment with small ones!
I'm losing memory @ this point, but I'm sure there's many more. Never a dull moment with small ones!
One thing I have learned through all of this, is that there a few things that are absolutely necessary to keep in your home while raising small children.
1. Goo Gone
2. Magic Erasers
3. OxiClean
4.Fels Naptha soap (for laundry stains)
5.Tweezers ( to remove foreign objects from tiny noses)
6. A Padded Room ( For Mommy to throw her tantrum in before setting forth to clean, fix, or rectify any of the above named situations)